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Monday 21 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (3128)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (6620)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10186) - you deserved it (36716)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30869) - you deserved it (2498) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (3176)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29601) - you deserved it (5929)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48309) - you deserved it (4978)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (2469)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10283) - you deserved it (36992)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting inside the shelter at the bus stop when a lady came up to me and asked if I would mind if she peed. FML

#20476019
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (2022)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (3698)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (2007)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7891) - you deserved it (41139)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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