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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33207) - you deserved it (2553)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

#21000984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (2581)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas. This would have been nice if I could actually whistle. FML

#21005460
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (3910)

On 12/25/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by princesss_14 - United States (Texas)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

#21009861
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (5379)

On 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I dropped a new 50lb box of tiles. Luckily, none of the tiles broke. I'm assuming this is because my foot cushioned the fall. FML

#20998674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (3350)

On 12/19/2013 at 11:41pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML

#20980804
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33748) - you deserved it (1870)

On 12/04/2013 at 7:00pm - misc - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML

#20981265
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36164) - you deserved it (2001)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:18am - animals - by Cat Ashes (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

#20980593
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39258) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/04/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

#20981275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35324) - you deserved it (4241)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Amy - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I canceled my Gamefly account. Seems that was the only thing keeping us together. FML

#20998173
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (3439)

On 12/19/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I realized my family is more excited to see my girlfriend than they are to see me. FML

#21005277
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (3316)

On 12/25/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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