Medication, the best funniest jokes

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Today, my older, pill-addicted brother, came over to visit with me. After he left, I realized all my Vicodin was gone. I got my wisdom teeth removed two hours ago. FML

By danielle1575 - 24/6/2021 04:01 - United States

Help yourself

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Today, I discovered my mother has been replacing my chronic pain meds with sugar pills, to prove to me that "the placebo effect is real and works on everyone." No wonder I’ve been in excruciating pain for days. FML

By maida - 2/6/2021 04:01

Bad data

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Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML

By Agonised - 29/5/2021 00:01

Help!

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Today, while buying laxatives and really hoping the cashier wouldn’t make some snarky comment, the cashier said, "You know, that’s not a good way to lose weight." I had to explain to him that I’m actually constipated. FML

By maggie - 24/5/2021 04:00

Keep your nose out of my life

915

Today, I have scurvy. I only found out because Facebook randomly showed me a 3-year-old video on why scurvy shouldn't even be a thing, and I thought I don't get much vitamin C, I should check this out. So I have late stage symptoms, and was in the process of slowly dying from what I thought was fibromyalgia. FML

By Anonymous - 18/5/2021 03:30 - Australia - Elizabeth

Sail on sailor

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Today, I went on a date. I didn’t want to go to his house, but we all have needs. I told him I should leave because I needed my medication in the morning. Passed out. Woke up, had a seizure, then made him go to my apartment to get my meds. This was a first date. FML

By Anonymous - 23/4/2021 08:08

Great first date

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Today, my cousin died of a very treatable illness. She was pressured into herbal and holistic "faith healing" instead of seeking "poisonous western filth". Her husband, church and family all seem to think she made the right choice. I’ve been shunned for disagreeing. FML

By fuck your indoctrination - 26/3/2021 09:01 - United States

Batshit

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Today, like every day since my diagnosis, I've had to choose between two impossible options. Either I deal with debilitating headaches where I cannot focus, or I feel so drowsy that I cannot focus. My finals are in a week and I can't study. FML

By RockMeetsHardPlace - 15/3/2021 15:01 - United States - Midlothian

Drugs are bad, well, some of them

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Today, I found out that the pills my doctor prescribed for my ED cause severe side effects and I have to stop taking them. So much for my sex life. FML

By Anonymous - 22/2/2021 23:01

Between a rock and a not-so-hard place

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Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

By Anonymous - United States - Columbia

Hardly getting used to it

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Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

By stinky car - United States - Bessemer

Jammed

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Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

By Anonymous - United States

Follow instructions

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