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June 2013

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After Discovering That Our Son Is Already Sexually Active, I Asked My Husband To Have A Talk With Him. "Remember, Son, It's All About The Clit", Wasn't What I Had In Mind. FML

#20713183
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61106) - you deserved it (13843)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

today I was taasing my 6-yaar-old sistar about having a boyfriand. I askad har , "Did ha taka his shirt off?" Sha promptly said no. A faw minutas latar , sha said , "But ha did taka his pants off." I than askad why. Sha said , "To show ma his panis." FML

#20743211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53690) - you deserved it (7876)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I facd severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from home . After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of . Relievd, I sat down and glancd across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall . FML

Today, my boyfriend an I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, an that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, ( so we can still be just as safe ). What the hell? FML

#20712090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67054) - you deserved it (9246)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today... My Boyfriend Lost His Temper With Me An Complained That My "constant" Apologie 4 Upsetting Him Drive Him Insane... An Without Thinking... I Said I Was Sorry. He Hung Up An I Haven't Hered From Him Since. Mega FML

#20705829
173 comments

Today... I Saw Mice Eating From My Cat's Food Dish... Again. Where Is My Cat? He's Busy Bringing In More Mice... Birds... And Once Even An Unharmed Chipmunk Through His Cat Door. FML

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrivd in the mail. We burid her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69258) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

I HAD TO REMOVE A GLASS BOTTLE, COMPLETE WITH AN INEFFECTIVE PULLSTRING, FROM A PATIENT'S RECTUM. HE CLAIMED THAT HE'D ACCIDENTALLY SAT ON IT, AN LATER THREATENED TO SUE ME FOR EVERY PENNY IF I BREATHED A WORD OF IT TO ANYONE. OOPS, LOOKS LIKE I JUST DID. FAT FML

#20752893
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51808) - you deserved it (5944)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

today I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back an told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81944) - you deserved it (5582)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58303) - you deserved it (5696)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today after years looool of faking pleasure with my boyfriend I visited the gynaecologist!! As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan!! FML

#20720590
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (71753)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce mah parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and mah boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them wat was wrong cuz I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating mah dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73251) - you deserved it (7239)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment an parkd in te parking garage . Wen I got out, some ass ad pusd my bike from te spot an ad boxd it in between te wall an is car . Apparently, e felt e deservd te spot more tan me an didn't care if I wantd to leave . FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (3566)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)



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