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Arteaga's comment : well there you go, apparently he was helping you out aswell..giving you a bag to pick up the crap.

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Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

#9994288
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37089) - you deserved it (9233)

On 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML

#9950878
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12009) - you deserved it (52042)

On 04/17/2010 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by BoobSicle (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7944) - you deserved it (64114)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

#9913301
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41785) - you deserved it (20626)

On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door. Normally I don't give them the time of day, but I was so lonely for company, I let them in. FML

#9812049
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (7289)

On 04/11/2010 at 8:27pm - misc - by lonely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML

#9799109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12204) - you deserved it (41176)

On 04/11/2010 at 7:54am - intimacy - by John doe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (43495)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML

#9796070
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (8312)

On 04/11/2010 at 2:34am - intimacy - by dannytriplet - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop and was fined $210 for making an illegal u-turn. When the cop finished writing my ticket and hopped in his car, he made the same u-turn. FML

#9770202
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (7081)

On 04/10/2010 at 1:00am - money - by lance - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (58451)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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