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Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (27669)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

#7895812
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33304) - you deserved it (3981)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:35am - love - by boostedsaab - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (23846)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

#7891851
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML

#7889872
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (64430)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

theman34's comment : you dick

See all the comments →

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

#7885768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (4872)

On 02/04/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by MafiaWarsWidow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML

#7884126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (2721)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:47pm - kids - by luciaspiano (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (11412)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after telling my girlfriend that I loved her, she dumped me claiming I was getting "too attached". I've already spent almost $400 on her Valentine's Day present. FML

#7877517
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (21029)

On 02/04/2010 at 2:31pm - love - by Dan1021 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

#7876927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (3047)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States

Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML

#7876510
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (4298)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:28pm - love - by Minabee (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML

#7874367
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29325) - you deserved it (4167)

On 02/04/2010 at 11:12am - love - by confused - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML

#7874212
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (3215)

On 02/04/2010 at 11:03am - love - by Awkward - Sent from mobile version



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