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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

#13580175
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (24681)

On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

#13577689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (35945)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

#13576310
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29601) - you deserved it (4336)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:11pm - love - by Moeswifey - United States

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

#13575803
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (3938)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:14pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML

#13574389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (9681)

On 10/24/2010 at 9:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (3207)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (46285)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14034) - you deserved it (50337)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

sccrismyantidrg's comment : That's horrible!

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Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13096) - you deserved it (39725)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had two 100's and two singles in my wallet. The two 100's was for my electric bill and the two singles were for the bus. Once I got off the bus and to the electric company, I noticed only my singles were there. Turns out I paid the bus driver $200. FML

#13570678
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (38722)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

#13570264
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (4075)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you deserved it (2632)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

#13567439
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27657) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by ugly me - United States (Colorado)



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