By preggersss - / Sunday 19 July 2009 02:27 / United States
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By  Luckster  |  0

Welcome to the modern world, bitch.....not everyone gets married before having a child. I thought people knew that by now. My parents didn't get married until my sister was 10 because they couldn't afford it for the longest time.

You shoulda poured the contents of the bag into her purse.

  metheonlyb  |  17

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

  lexiBRo  |  0

You people do realize that not all people exchange rings when they are getting married. My cousins are SDA and they don't believe in wedding rings. They have three kids and I would hate for people to look down on her just b/c she isn't wearing a ring when she has been married for many years now.

  kcaots  |  0

okay, first off, are we in the 1700's? people that are born out of wedlock, are not called bastards. i personally am a child that was raised by a single parent, and ive never felt any different. times are change, learn to deal people. don't be judgmental, and if you are, keep your opinions about it to yourself.

  Xinabeth  |  0

Some people don't believe in a god, so the choose to not be married under a god. Marriage is a religious concept; if you don't have a religion, why bother getting married? Just because someone isn't married doesn't mean they can't have kids. That lady was quite rude :(

  soulonfire928  |  0

That is a horrible thing to say-kids born out of wedlock aren't considered bastards anymore.

Get off your goddamn high horse for one minute.

Nobody is saying that we hate the idea of marriage-rather that if a person gets pregnant outside of marriage, we're aren't the type of people to chase after them with fire and pitchforks. It happens, get the hell over it, nobody is a bad person because of it.

  avoidthegirl  |  6

Aaaand you are full of shit. Having a piece of paper authorized by the government doesn't help strengthen any relationship bond - the people themselves do. You're a judgmental piece of shit if you think that the only people who should be having kids are those who are married. Thousands of people do not believe in marriage and have completely healthy relationships. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal, etc. Divorce is a hell of a lot messier than just breaking a relationship off anyway and considering the divorce rate is above 50%, I can sure as hell see why people are avoiding it. Don't be such a cunt.

  vixnbrianaf  |  2

I wear my wedding band on my left thumb because I lost a bunch of weight and it no longer fits me...my husband broke his while working in construction and hasn't worn one in years...but we are married. My sister never wants to get married, but she wants children...does that make her a filthy slut because she wants to choose invetro over having someone in her life that could possibly fuck her over?

  darkmis1  |  17

#68: my mom and dad never got married, my dads a total ass, but people don't walk around calling me a bastard! In fact, when I tell my friends, they're completly understanding of it. So stfu!

  MSJ91  |  1

There are also common-law marriages (Canada's requirements), where no ceremony is performed, but it "automatically takes effect once two people (of any gender) have lived together in a conjugal relationship for five full years." Or, you can apply for it earlier.

I understand that some aren't interested in big fancy weddings (hooray for debt?!) or are scared that the relationship may fall through, and they'll be left with a big mess (which a pre-nupt can help with, if they still wanted a wedding), but the fact that a couple doesn't want to get married seems to demonstrate a lack of faith in the relationship (although it does not mean that the couple won't stay together). A married couple, I'm sure, is more likely to try counselling before pronouncing a divorce, and if they reconcile, they may save their children a lot of emotional trauma and trust issues.
Then again, the kid might grow up happier not having a father than having the parents split up (and even more so if one of the parents doesn't see the kid at all afterwards).

What the woman did was rude, but I don't see how the OP couldn't expect these sorts of reaction. Hell, the pregnancy might not have been her fault (although it most likely was in part); there are so many possibilities that make judgement difficult (which circumstances led to the pregnancy? is she mature enough? does she have the means to support a child? can she provide a healthy environment for the baby to grow in? etc.).
If she wasn't ready for the child, however, I don't see how anyone can't agree that it was a mistake.

  TrAnMu  |  0

Ummm. That's where your wrong. Yes a child born outside of marridge is called a bastard but I have never once heard someone call another a bastard because they actually are one. My best friend was born outside of marridge (His parents were later married.) but he is never called a and I highly doubt that he will be called a bastard. In fact, I never thought of him as one till today. So get with the times you judgemental a**hole.

  jordanxfml  |  0

You have noo idea if shes a whore. people make mistakes and maybe it wasnt a mistake. my mom had me before she married my dad and theyve been together ever since. you have no right too judge.

  marycontrary  |  0

I was raised in a very religious background, so I understand opinions on both sides of this argument. But, how could you possibly be so callous towards the OP and still expect to make a sound argument for the institution of marriage? People don't come to this website to be told that they are a whore or a slut or have any insinuations made about parenting ability. They come looking for sympathy and support for their situation and if a person can not do that, then that person should just move on and keep their comments to themselves.
And on another note, for all of the religious zealots who are condemning the OP, you should be encouraging her for making the decision to keep the baby instead of taking the alternative route. Making the choice to either carry a child and give it up for adoption or to care for it herself is a decision that I am sure was not an easy one to make. So why don't you chew on that little nugget of wisdom before you start casting stones, dear.

  Fenris89  |  0

Why on earth do you need to be married? It's a religious, over-glorified, stupid waste of time. You need a piece of paper to prove you're in love? If you need that "reassurance," , maybe you're not ready to be married at all. It's not you're any more committed to the other person if you're married, there's not any real point to it besides the legal stuff. Religious retards like that lady are outdated.
It's enough to be together and in love, that's all that you really need.

  americayay  |  0

68, that's a horrible thing to say.

85, marriage is also a LEGAL concept and many athiests choose to commit to eachother legally through marriage.

OP, you didn't deserve this, but people suck in general and you should probably get used to that reaction, especially when you start to show.

  HarleyRider77  |  0

This is not an FML! Oh no! An old lady shook her head at you!

  regalarius  |  0

Personally, my opinion is that marriage should be completely abolished from the legal system. I see no problem with bearing a child outside of wedlock - in fact one of my co-workers has had little choice, since she's a lesbian but wanted to parent a child with her partner.

American culture still pressures people into following the beliefs and practices of a very small set of religions. Marriage seems to me to be an example of that pressure. I know people who have raised a child together 'till adulthood without getting married, and I know people who have been married longer than that without having children. Hopefully I'll be in that category when it's all said and done. :-D The most common reason that I've heard for why gays shouldn't marry is because "God defines marriage as between a man and a woman." I don't care what your God defines as what, and I'm disgusted that our government forces something like that upon people.

DOMA - in case I forgot why I'm ashamed to be an American.

  danab_fml  |  0

when I was pregnant with my son I got dirty looks all the time. the older ladies are always so predictable. they see the baby belly and their eyes immediately jump to the ring finger. funny thing is, I've been married for 2 yrs. my rings cut off circulation by about the 6 mth. I hate those judgemental old hags


#341- actuallythe original meaning for bastard is someone born out of the sacred time of the year. a long time ago, around when Jesus was born, you could only have sex during a certain time span of the year, so you would give birth in the sacred time of the year. if you had sex out of the time span, your children would be born out of the sacred time, and be a bastard. (I'm not a Jesus crispy, just telling a fact :) )

  sakurose  |  9

It's like one girl at work. She's been married for 20 years but doesn't wear a ring. Doesn't mean she's not married and doesn't mean that she had her children when she wasn't married!

By  Luckster  |  0

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

  st0815  |  9

Well there are quite a few savings, insurance benefits etc you can get being married, and it makes a lot of administrative stuff easier. If money is tight, why not just sign the papers? You are legally entangled anyway, and you can have a big wedding party at a later time. But hey - their choice, and if they look after their children well, nobody else should have a right to interfere in their affairs.

  lexiBRo  |  0

Some people think marriage is a little more special than signing a document. Perhaps, her dad wanted to give her mother the fairy tale wedding she deserved ??

  yellowIA  |  0

I was thinking the same thing. I know people who got married and had a wedding later. But to each his own but if my mom got preg w/ me and she wasn't married, I'd like to know I'm worth doing whatever possible so I could be brought into this world with married parents. If that means foregoing a wedding so be it. But everybody has their own opinions...

By  cutebebe778  |  0

I agree with #2, you should've poured your vomit on the bitchs face. A certificate doesn't mean anything. She should realize that, and get the fuck over herself and her stupid ass morals.

By  morgan_5230  |  0

How mean of her! My parents didn't get married until after I was born, and I turned out fine. And you know what, even if you don't get married to your child's father, so what? You aren't a bad person at all. Sorry that lady judged you unfairly. :(

  ntherewas1  |  11

I would probably marry the father of my child before I got pregnant but I wouldn't judge anyone who marries after. I wouldn't mind if they didn't even marry. Just make sure that the kid is all right!

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