by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 8:53am / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Love
by Kebabjoon / 04/29/2011 at 7:36am / Spain / Work
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
by Celluloid / 04/29/2011 at 2:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML
by srsly_what / 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
txgirl2013's comment : well he didnt reach and grab it did he?
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
by cnamobi / 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
cradle6's comment : Did you ever think about addressing this problem a little earlier?
by spartanson / 04/28/2011 at 6:28am / Miscellaneous
allmidnighteyes's comment : Your dad is Charlie Sheen?