Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was on Craigslist looking for a new guitar. I found the diamond earrings and necklace set I gave to my girlfriend last year. She wants 50 bucks for them. FML

#7821879
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (2097)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

#7821444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (5196)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49247) - you deserved it (37812)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML

#7815637
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9546) - you deserved it (28453)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Namnack - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I received a detention because I threw up on the school nurse who wasn't going to send me home. According to her, stomach ulcers are not a true health issue, so there's no reason to leave. FML

#7814499
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (2006)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:38pm - misc - by mollymaykitty - Sent from mobile version

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

#7813334
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (3860)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:32pm - animals - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

#7812980
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8384) - you deserved it (23726)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Forgetfull (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

#7811956
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28397) - you deserved it (2438)

On 02/02/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by tony1401 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31826) - you deserved it (2628)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (3283)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML

#7810009
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (4565)

On 02/02/2010 at 8:00am - money - by taxed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

#7809149
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21651) - you deserved it (4190)

On 02/02/2010 at 6:25am - work - by paul - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

#7806645
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (2372)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:34am - love - by BaldingQuick (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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