Animals: Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the... - FML

By FlowerPower - 20/07/2009 21:32 - United States

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 847

You deserved it 18 291

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Same thing different taste

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 340

You deserved it 1 185

Snug as a bug…

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 02:01

Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 168

The smells of summer

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was sitting in the garden with a book, enjoying the fragrant summer breeze. That fragrance changed somewhat once my kittens discovered that the big mole hill next to me made an excellent toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 162

Take a load off

By MustyAtticMouth - 13/01/2024 05:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 104

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 934

You deserved it 9 132

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 2 208

By baugy - 11/04/2012 02:19 - United States - Orlando

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 173

You deserved it 2 518

By Samantha Glennie - 13/07/2018 20:30

Today, due to the high pollen count and despite taking hay fever medicine, I passed out in the bathroom from not being able to breathe. My mother accused me of doing it on purpose to make her late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 714

You deserved it 235

Best day of my life

By Cherub - 03/05/2009 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 093

You deserved it 7 827

By Anonymous - 16/04/2015 02:41 - Australia

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 793

You deserved it 3 140

Next

Top comments

Ichigoner 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:53

Imagine the bugs. Today i was crawling peacefully on a flower until some idiot sucked me up his nose. FML

so_me_fml 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:39

...Maybe just gently inhale the scent instead of sucking it up to your brain?

Comments

Compwiz1993 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:49

You must have a powerful nose!

iKaite 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:04

'She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a mans tonsils!'

KryptoniteKiss 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:49

Oh, yuck.

bayybee 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:49

disgusting. ew.

lich_fml 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:49

oh, yuck D:

EllieMolloy 2

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:30

I second that D:

Ichigoner 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:53

Imagine the bugs. Today i was crawling peacefully on a flower until some idiot sucked me up his nose. FML

Ichigoner 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:55

*her

divineinstrument 2

Tuesday 21 July 2009 13:26

No one cares if a bug's life is ******. They're gross

mmmrabies 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 17:42

Lol, that was hilarious!

plexico 3

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:53

You coke *****! When you smell a flower, you don't inhale as hard as when you are snorting blow.

M13LO 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:57

YDI for having a nose

chocoLIFE_fml 2

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:17

haha make no sense...

CDub7888 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:01

And hark, here we have the genuine example of the fabled "asshole". A hermit of many sorts, one dare not come across the asshole because when one does, hostile urges begin to form.

HamsteronA 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 23:43

these "assholes" sound very scary. are they relatives of "trolls", "idiots", "grammer Nazis" and "twats"?

dRose22 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:12

YDI for not checking before smelling

Self_Induced 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:30

Sexy.

so_me_fml 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:39

...Maybe just gently inhale the scent instead of sucking it up to your brain?

gorguz14evar 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 2:15

rofl. So true !

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

The Top

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 325

You deserved it 2 857

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 195

You deserved it 5 087

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 017

You deserved it 4 002

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 453

You deserved it 21 461

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 329

You deserved it 4 326

Today, I think all those jokes my wife made about becoming an alcoholic during quarantine may be true. She came back from the weekly shopping today with 7 bottles of wine, a bottle of tequila and a 30-pack of beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 268