Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (3094)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

#10540759
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you deserved it (46482)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (2338)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML

#10532654
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (4576)

On 05/14/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

#10521391
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (4908)

On 05/14/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by superhero1043 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

#10520855
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9088) - you deserved it (29894)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML

#10520303
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (2812)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by fothermuckerrr - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

#10516903
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9386) - you deserved it (31079)

On 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm - misc - by BigMouth McRedface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

#10514863
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7080) - you deserved it (40433)

On 05/13/2010 at 9:11pm - misc - by BikerBuddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

#10512459
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8492) - you deserved it (43425)

On 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by errints234234 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19327) - you deserved it (10116)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML

#10509777
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (12235)

On 05/13/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by shit - United States (Oklahoma)



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