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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I watched a grizzled, old gas station attendant with a stain on her blouse use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

#13559030
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34380) - you deserved it (2791)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (5902)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, for my Teen Living class, all the students got a fake baby. In order to stop the baby from crying, you have to use the bracelet they provide. I lost the bracelet. I have the baby all weekend. FML

#13558555
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (38991)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

#13558401
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (3752)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:22am - animals - by poorhamster - United States (Washington)

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

#13558265
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56430) - you deserved it (4378)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)

bmore225's comment : Keep it in the family I suppose.

See all the comments →

Today, I was disciplining one of my students for behavior, and he started to roll his eyes every time I was trying to teach the lesson. So I threatened to write him up. After looking closely at the student, I realized he has a lazy roaming eye. FML

#13555511
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9320) - you deserved it (35428)

On 10/22/2010 at 10:15pm - work - by qhu - United States (Florida)

Today, I flew to California to visit my younger sister at college. When I got to her house, her boyfriend looks at her and says, "Shes not THAT ugly." FML

#13554523
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (2808)

On 10/22/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by annonymus - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML

#13551763
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8983) - you deserved it (39404)

On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

#13550544
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31703) - you deserved it (3211)

On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me that he had cheated on me two months ago with my best friend. I decided to give him a second chance. About twenty minutes later, he then broke up with me for not wanting to watch football. Apparently I don't care about his feelings. FML

#13548959
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (12386)

On 10/22/2010 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

#13548383
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9497) - you deserved it (29334)

On 10/22/2010 at 9:26am - work - by soapypete (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

#13547625
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (2603)

On 10/22/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

#13547239
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (30171)

On 10/22/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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