by Anonymous / 07/30/2011 at 12:35am / United States / Love
prettyinpink03's comment : so cherries aren't the only thing he likes to pop?
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
hannahtaskey's comment : Kids learn from their parents you know...
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health
NickyK's comment : May the pasteurization be with you.
by Username / 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm / United States / Kids
by ivannooze / 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm / United States / Health
by Username / 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love
by Elizabeth / 07/29/2011 at 3:56pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
by Username / 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy
by xxxkkxxx / 07/29/2011 at 11:37am / Hong Kong / Holidays
by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by sofargone420 / 07/29/2011 at 10:27am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…