Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

#11927382
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33159) - you deserved it (2297)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (17314)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

#11923492
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33901) - you deserved it (5970)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:38pm - misc - by apple (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (43411)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

#11911346
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29299) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:17am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

#11907332
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35138) - you deserved it (4643)

On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

#11906376
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20216) - you deserved it (25740)

On 07/15/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by darthinvader (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML

#11902145
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33467) - you deserved it (9492)

On 07/15/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

#11895645
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41647) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/15/2010 at 6:52am - misc - by photonut13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML

#11895000
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (25990)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

#11894871
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13458) - you deserved it (26264)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:17am - misc - by ditsy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (62306)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

nwtngrl820's comment : tell him to get allergy medicine then u can have both

See all the comments →

Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML

#11890639
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37484) - you deserved it (19153)

On 07/15/2010 at 1:19am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: