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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML

#7576181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7486) - you deserved it (26629)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:41pm - misc - by EggyBum (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML

#7575221
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6813) - you deserved it (40424)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by 420dits (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

#7573636
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (2258)

On 01/25/2010 at 7:15pm - kids - by KillahCam (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (6061)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

#7570908
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

#7570028
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26253) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (28044)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML

#7568614
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6939) - you deserved it (30300)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:13pm - misc - by kodijack (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML

#7568071
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5571) - you deserved it (28845)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by lala (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

#7566820
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32812) - you deserved it (2758)

On 01/25/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#7565931
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (33933)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - love - by CivE (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the monkey." And she says that I hate him because I'M immature. FML

#7565920
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18016) - you deserved it (2248)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - intimacy - by emergency (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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