Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36046) - you deserved it (3115)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

#10628533
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (28247)

On 05/19/2010 at 2:42pm - misc - by phukt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

#10627602
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28109) - you deserved it (6948)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

#10624819
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50389) - you deserved it (6949)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

#10624729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (4638)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:00am - love - by likesboys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

#10621379
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (2782)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

#10615901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23722) - you deserved it (6624)

On 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by MisterT (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

#10612063
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (3703)

On 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by tallwoman (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML

#10604830
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16397) - you deserved it (34384)

On 05/18/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Dana422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML

#10594488
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (2867)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Babygirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (3163)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that, since getting my tongue ring, it has become imprudent to test 9-volt batteries with my tongue. FML

#10586322
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5738) - you deserved it (42581)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:09am - misc - by Zapped - United States (New York)



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