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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

#7606861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Brummsta (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

#7606758
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9422) - you deserved it (23714)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:35am - intimacy - by DuChaillu (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

#7605430
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (7736)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend's ex-wife facebooked me to inform me that they were still married and he was still sleeping with her. I've been living with him for the past month. FML

#7605388
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30087) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:18am - love - by LivingInSin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

#7604167
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:25am - money - by boned (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38360) - you deserved it (3909)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML

#7600805
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (3431)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Candace - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20658) - you deserved it (3272)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11727) - you deserved it (25145)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

#7598388
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10979) - you deserved it (33692)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Aaron (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34611) - you deserved it (2093)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my bank account was in the negative because my work gave me a check that didn't clear. I went to my bank to get a statement of charges so my job could reimburse me. They told me requesting a statement costs 8 dollars, which I don't have because my account is in the negative. FML

#7591885
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (2327)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:33pm - money - by tinaburrito - Sent from mobile version



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