Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

#13925706
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27936) - you deserved it (8588)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by rebeccacaissie - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML

#13923340
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34856) - you deserved it (4773)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10588) - you deserved it (63563)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

#13919837
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9902) - you deserved it (36567)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:39am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17652) - you deserved it (57209)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML

#13913200
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (5073)

On 11/20/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (6990)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

#13910600
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (16646)

On 11/20/2010 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

#13909761
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44848) - you deserved it (4348)

On 11/20/2010 at 9:00am - animals - by serveandprotectyeahright - United States (New York)

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I asked the bartender if anyone had handed it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swiped my wallet from the bag too. FML

#13908824
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (7991)

On 11/20/2010 at 5:40am - misc - by misc (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

#13907049
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32541) - you deserved it (4936)

On 11/20/2010 at 1:20am - love - by lorrilanee (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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