Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I started an awesome job with competitive pay. I also found out that the place is closing its doors in June. FML

#13874228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/17/2010 at 5:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (5653)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

#13873545
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43502) - you deserved it (8512)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8608) - you deserved it (31725)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16040) - you deserved it (55103)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

#13869223
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28831) - you deserved it (2596)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

#13868959
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12915) - you deserved it (25504)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by genderbender (woman) - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML

#13867056
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (11161)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

#13865567
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36733) - you deserved it (5003)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11779) - you deserved it (36147)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers. FML

#13863869
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11424) - you deserved it (19971)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51756) - you deserved it (12837)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

#13862982
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (6758)

On 11/16/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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