Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

#11864546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14579) - you deserved it (29265)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by No.Life. - United States (Vermont)

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11740) - you deserved it (39189)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (42671)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50261) - you deserved it (4185)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (45187)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

#11853841
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32330) - you deserved it (7871)

On 07/13/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by dammitrain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slipped on the wet floor at work and sprained my wrist badly. I was carrying the wet floor sign so no one would slip. FML

#11852475
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (6757)

On 07/13/2010 at 2:28pm - work - by babygirllxo - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18283) - you deserved it (27553)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I must be the only person who has been taking the contraceptive pill for six years without ever needing to use it as a contraceptive. FML

#11848854
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (8909)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:27am - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11671) - you deserved it (38117)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

#11846674
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (12084)

On 07/13/2010 at 5:22am - misc - by Sally - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14358) - you deserved it (38450)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (10043)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States



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