by Kate / 07/04/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
by hero to zero / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
Big_Red_138's comment : Well that's misfortunate...hopefully she lunged back at you in a blind fury and beat the shit out of her ex.
by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
hannahtaskey's comment : Well, you know what that means....
by crudofalife / 07/04/2011 at 5:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
PSQ91's comment : Give him a hamburger anyways. That crap is so cheep & he's probably some bum.
by oopsies / 07/04/2011 at 5:11am / United States / Animals
Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML
by Gustav Fjorder / 07/04/2011 at 3:27am / Switzerland / Miscellaneous
by monquiqui / 07/04/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
by emegemerald / 07/04/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Animals
by wastedbaby / 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous
by drunkinriot / 07/03/2011 at 7:04pm / United States / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…