Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found that my cats somehow managed to pull the plug of my fridge out of the socket. Several days ago. Now I have to get rid of a ton of stinking food and clean the stinking fridge. FML

#10863158
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (6837)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:53pm - animals - by Alexander (man) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

#10862777
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29705) - you deserved it (3615)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

#10857993
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43452) - you deserved it (8986)

On 05/30/2010 at 4:05am - kids - by BabyDaddy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

#10855287
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28226) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

#10853555
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (5170)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:01am - animals - by misTreated (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

#10851356
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (6583)

On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (9082)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (3172)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (6100)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

#10837564
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (2575)

On 05/29/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by hulagirl1217 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

#10834271
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (13335)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by crashingdown - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36225) - you deserved it (7806)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (3123)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: