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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML

#8992744
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23681) - you deserved it (1836)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by er1133 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8959) - you deserved it (46896)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (3181)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

#8989012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (2421)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States

Today, I found out the electric bill I have been paying was on my old house. I found this out when they shut off the power to my house. FML

#8988720
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12472) - you deserved it (16882)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:18am - money - by secret - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21729) - you deserved it (3795)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got a call from a police department saying that if I didn't move my car from a store's parking lot within the next 15 minutes, they were going to tow it and charge me for the fee. I was at work and the reason I parked it there is because it started smoking and almost caught fire. FML

#8984403
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19173) - you deserved it (4411)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:03pm - misc - by ohemgee (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (3779)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (5039)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML

#8979705
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25687) - you deserved it (2076)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by penpendesrapen - Philippines (Manila)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (61759)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

#8973652
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4813) - you deserved it (54637)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)



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