Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML

#8193962
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24324) - you deserved it (4666)

On 02/13/2010 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (6776)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32252) - you deserved it (2630)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

#8190091
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (2712)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by xetsa - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (6516)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11664) - you deserved it (36919)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Narcentricity's comment : why?

See all the comments →

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (2992)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML

#8177563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (1543)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML

#8176848
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (1815)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:04pm - misc - by ummmmEW - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read "it's over". FML

#8170663
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (2356)

On 02/12/2010 at 3:19pm - love - by blacklove (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

#8169866
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (4019)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm - misc - by pandabear - United Kingdom (Magherafelt)

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

#8169467
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (4302)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by justmyluck - United States

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (2975)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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