Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML
by Joe thomas / 07/24/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Florida) / Money
by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love
BIEBERSLAYER's comment : please tell me you didn't get a lap dance from her.
Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML
by Sarah / 07/23/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Freeze's comment : On the bright side, you get to say, "No shit" all day.
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm / United States / Love
lovelikewoe's comment : well, it's obviously your fault because you constantly lied.
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
by Norah / 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
by Username / 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML
by lauramarie / 07/23/2011 at 10:18am / Canada / Kids
by Baconcook3000 / 07/23/2011 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by tgd4444 / 07/23/2011 at 6:29am / Malaysia (Johor) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML
by someone / 07/23/2011 at 4:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by MaHalKiTa / 07/23/2011 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Geek
by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids