Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

by hardlyworking / 03/03/2011 at 7:39pm / United States / Work

Today, my parents told me that due to my lacking height and weight, I legally have to sit in a booster seat in the car from now on. I'm nineteen. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 4:18pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Health

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

by Emily / 03/03/2011 at 10:23am / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (London) / Money

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Mongoose19's comment : well if that's on of your frequent used words YDI

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Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

by panda / 03/03/2011 at 6:20am / Animals

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

by LLCoolBean / 03/03/2011 at 3:32am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

hotdogcore's comment : YDI for letting people take topless photos of you. Good luck with life if you ever break up, because he'll probably pull a dick move and post it on the internet.

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Today, I got rejected by two different guys. One was my ex-boyfriend who said he wanted to keep our friendship, and the other was a guy I went on a date with who faked a European accent the whole time during our date despite him being born and raised in Texas. FML

by Apparentlycreepy / 03/03/2011 at 2:24am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

by Pickle / 03/03/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

by elfy2 / 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm / Kids

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

by Worstjob / 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Idaho) / Work