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Feeling better? It's one thing to talk about the drama in one's personal life, as long as the details aren't too.......well, you get it. It's another thing to talk about a staph infection. I've done research in this field, I know how bad it is. There is no way I could have escaped hearing it unless I had left the classroom; she was out of line here.

By inlovewithstupid - 04/09/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 423

You deserved it 17 313

By JStein - 29/11/2012 04:33 - United States - Hampshire

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 423

You deserved it 8 967

By Teenagegirl - 26/03/2012 04:11 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 422

You deserved it 4 297

By Anonymous - 25/12/2009 08:14 - Canada

Today, I found out my ex got invited to our Christmas Party. I also found out that she got much more presents and money from my family than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 422

You deserved it 2 984

By Ohshit - 17/05/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 420

You deserved it 92 837

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 420

You deserved it 4 245

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 07:25 - United States - Springfield

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 419

You deserved it 3 852

By Renzy - 12/12/2012 18:32

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 414

You deserved it 7 601

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 414

You deserved it 3 963

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 413

You deserved it 4 704

By Rehab - 11/02/2010 19:58 - United States

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 412

You deserved it 3 735

By Colormered - 12/01/2010 15:08 - France

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 412

You deserved it 3 586

By M. Night Shytefuck - 20/01/2015 22:52 - United States - Plattsmouth

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 412

You deserved it 2 811

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 18:51 - Norway - Bergen

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 409

You deserved it 3 074

By _Tater_Tot_ - 03/04/2015 16:39 - United States - Anniston

Today, my mom let me know that I'll have to spend my entire tax return on replacing my car brakes. The reason I need new brakes is because almost every single time she uses the car, she floors the gas while the parking brake is still on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 406

You deserved it 2 700

_Tater_Tot_ tells us more.

_Tater_Tot_ 20

Saturday 4 April 2015 3:41

To answer some responses Im a girl and I don't put the parking brake on, my mom happens to somehow put it on whilst driving and she does not notice the light on the dashboard :/