By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 00:17 - Israel

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 425
You deserved it 3 723

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Tell him that you never wash your mouth after a *******.

tell him everytime he shakes hands with a man he's shaking their penis too.


flockz 19

sounds like your a little paranoid huh?

He reminds me of the late George Carlin " I only wash my hands when I get shit on my fingers, and that happens like twice a week tops!" hahaha

anjelicjazzy 6

tell him you never brush yur teeth. nd he can never tell because the odor from his hands is overpowering

aprilmayjune93 0

I wouldn't hold his hands anymore

Psh, washing your hands, I thought that was for the soviets, just like toilet paper.

flockz 19

well everyone know girls dont poop. now all the girls need to know that guys keep their hands in their pockets the entire time when they go to the restroom because we men have pants that unzip themselves and toilets that flush automatically and even doors that open with a password only known to men. so we men dont need to wash our hands for any reason at all. ladies u just need to catch up.

flockz 19

did the trolls all have a meeting and decided to attack this thread? one second every comment is thumbed up and then i refresh the page and every comment is thumbed down by like three or more votes... keep going trolls i still love you! :] (btw for anyone who didnt know yes i was ******* joking in both of my previous posts no need to go all apeshit and rape the downvote) :l

-40 I will give the trolls attention by requesting oral sex from them and calling them what the cool kids refer to as "Douchebags"

flockz 19

iamnotmyself- you are a cool kid i grant u permission to use the term "douche bag". im now going to get off my high horse now. *steps down*

-42 But just like the OP, I'm so paranoid, I'll wash my hands, what I'm try to say is if I'm given this much power, I might even request more oral sex and calling more people Douchebags... I don't think I could take the great responsibility with great power.

flockz 19

then you are not a true eagle scout and i must take back your "i can say douchebag yay" badge. im sorry but you are not prepared for that type of insults yet. in time you will be im sure.

flockz 19

good boy, now fetch me a sandwich lol

austinkiser 3

u might want to specify the type of sandwich u might get a cockmeat sandwich haha

Iamnotmyself, if you're going to get flockz sandwich from subway, be sure you don't ask for the sub with avocado...

Jammy01jams 2

When I Piss at a urinal I don't wash my hands. Why? Our penis is tiny in comparison to the huge urinal. Why would you need to aim? Just unzip, spray and pray. Not touching anything.

nateb1tch 1

In reality, the males sexual organ is actually far cleaner then anywhere else on the body. Unless he got fecal matter on his hands, he made his wee-wee dirty.

whoah. I never knew you could reply to a comment of a comment. this made my day!

CommonSenseKarma 17

I lick my paws clean and I haven't died yet.

I put all those "lol"s so autocorrect wouldn't ruin my comment : (

Well, u feel gross, but think about it. chances are, u only touch ur clothes pulling it down, and if ur a male ur private part. what does that touch? nothing that gives germs

hayliepoche 5

just buy him some grem-x it's much easier!

FiestaInMyPants 8

Getting rid of gremlins won't help OP's problem, unfortunately.

natas_fml 13

Unless the true reason OP's dad doesn't wash his hands is because he's afraid of the gremlins under the sink.

Forget gremlins, it's the gnomes you have to look out for.

he's obviously just trying to build immunities, sort of like booger-eating

thinkucandance 0

Seems like she would have had to find something like that out before marrying..but, maybe not

error0987654321 2

That's not even close to how you get E. coli. please note, "found in the gut of humans" and "wash hands thoroughly"

kirbsterrr 5

That is not a legitimate reason to dump him.

Of all the legitimate reasons to break up with someone, not washing their hands enough isn't one of them. I definitely don't think it's something a couple should get DIVORCED over.

1215116a 14

Dude, they're married. It would take a while to 'dump him'.

I see what you did there, dump him for taking a dump and not washing his hands

you can't just ******* "dump" your husband. it's marriage not a ******* high school relationship

pee on your hands and smear it all over him

iLoveBoobies21 0

7 - I'll shit in my hands and rub it in your face for leaving such a lame ass comment.

Tell him that you never wash your mouth after a *******.

How do you marry someone and not have found this out beforehand?

well idk, maybe she doesn't always follow him into the mens room?

I guess now it's your turn to be paranoid...