Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
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By
dreamering
| 16
Tell him that you never wash your mouth after a blowjob.
By
flockz
| 19
sounds like your a little paranoid huh?
COMMENTS
By
moosemonkey1000
| 6
grodyyy
By
flockz
| 19
sounds like your a little paranoid huh?
Reply
the_ace1337
| 0
He reminds me of the late George Carlin " I only wash my hands when I get shit on my fingers, and that happens like twice a week tops!" hahaha
Reply
anjelicjazzy
| 6
tell him you never brush yur teeth. nd he can never tell because the odor from his hands is overpowering
Reply
aprilmayjune93
| 0
I wouldn't hold his hands anymore
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
Psh, washing your hands, I thought that was for the soviets, just like toilet paper.
Reply
flockz
| 19
well everyone know girls dont poop. now all the girls need to know that guys keep their hands in their pockets the entire time when they go to the restroom because we men have pants that unzip themselves and toilets that flush automatically and even doors that open with a password only known to men. so we men dont need to wash our hands for any reason at all. ladies u just need to catch up.
Reply
flockz
| 19
did the trolls all have a meeting and decided to attack this thread? one second every comment is thumbed up and then i refresh the page and every comment is thumbed down by like three or more votes... keep going trolls i still love you! :]
(btw for anyone who didnt know yes i was fucking joking in both of my previous posts no need to go all apeshit and rape the downvote) :l
(btw for anyone who didnt know yes i was fucking joking in both of my previous posts no need to go all apeshit and rape the downvote) :l
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-40 I will give the trolls attention by requesting oral sex from them and calling them what the cool kids refer to as "Douchebags"
Reply
flockz
| 19
iamnotmyself- you are a cool kid i grant u permission to use the term "douche bag". im now going to get off my high horse now. *steps down*
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-42 But just like the OP, I'm so paranoid, I'll wash my hands, what I'm try to say is if I'm given this much power, I might even request more oral sex and calling more people Douchebags... I don't think I could take the great responsibility with great power.
Reply
flockz
| 19
then you are not a true eagle scout and i must take back your "i can say douchebag yay" badge. im sorry but you are not prepared for that type of insults yet. in time you will be im sure.
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-48 As you wish, master Flockz
Reply
flockz
| 19
good boy, now fetch me a sandwich lol
Reply
austinkiser
| 3
u might want to specify the type of sandwich u might get a cockmeat sandwich haha
Reply
dre_bro11
| 12
Iamnotmyself, if you're going to get flockz sandwich from subway, be sure you don't ask for the sub with avocado...
Reply
Jammy01jams
| 2
When I Piss at a urinal I don't wash my hands. Why? Our penis is tiny in comparison to the huge urinal. Why would you need to aim? Just unzip, spray and pray. Not touching anything.
Reply
nateb1tch
| 1
In reality, the males sexual organ is actually far cleaner then anywhere else on the body. Unless he got fecal matter on his hands, he made his wee-wee dirty.
Reply
Iamnotmyself
| 17
-69 Reality sucks let us be free!
Reply
shannon1029
| 4
whoah. I never knew you could reply to a comment of a comment. this made my day!
Reply
CommonSenseKarma
| 17
I lick my paws clean and I haven't died yet.
Reply
steveakafranxy
| 7
#62 trolololololololololol
Reply
steveakafranxy
| 7
I put all those "lol"s so autocorrect wouldn't ruin my comment : (
Reply
AmazingLadyy13
| 0
Haha, hilarious!
Reply
davizv
| 0
Well, u feel gross, but think about it. chances are, u only touch ur clothes pulling it down, and if ur a male ur private part. what does that touch? nothing that gives germs
Reply
minichamp116
| 8
Your penis is tiny anyway..........LOL
Reply
minichamp116
| 8
@67
By
hayliepoche
| 5
just buy him some grem-x
it's much easier!
it's much easier!
Reply
FiestaInMyPants
| 8
Getting rid of gremlins won't help OP's problem, unfortunately.
Reply
natas_fml
| 13
Unless the true reason OP's dad doesn't wash his hands is because he's afraid of the gremlins under the sink.
Reply
natas_fml
| 13
husband*
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
Forget gremlins, it's the gnomes you have to look out for.
Reply
spacemanspiff78
| 7
he's obviously just trying to build immunities, sort of like booger-eating
By
thinkucandance
| 0
Seems like she would have had to find something like that out before marrying..but, maybe not
Reply
BeatlesObsessed
| 12
I hope he doesn't make you food.
Reply
WIZchild
| 0
ur from israel...cant waste water
By
b70valkyrie
| 0
say hello e coli!
Reply
error0987654321
| 2
That's not even close to how you get E. coli.
Reply
b70valkyrie
| 0
http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/News/NewsAndFeatures/Pages/E-coli-Protecting-Family.aspx please note, "found in the gut of humans" and "wash hands thoroughly"
By
lunalight
| 0
dump him
Reply
JesusFishTaco
| 5
Please die.
Reply
kirbsterrr
| 5
That is not a legitimate reason to dump him.
Reply
knocking
| 0
Of all the legitimate reasons to break up with someone, not washing their hands enough isn't one of them. I definitely don't think it's something a couple should get DIVORCED over.
Reply
1215116a
| 14
Dude, they're married. It would take a while to 'dump him'.
Reply
swittig
| 0
I see what you did there, dump him for taking a dump and not washing his hands
Reply
Masift
| 21
you can't just fucking "dump" your husband. it's marriage not a fucking high school relationship
By
Javalounge
| 0
pee on your hands and smear it all over him
Reply
ariannaimelda
| 7
what the fuck?
Reply
JesusFishTaco
| 5
That be nasty as helllll.
Reply
iLoveBoobies21
| 0
7 - I'll shit in my hands and rub it in your face for leaving such a lame ass comment.
By
dreamering
| 16
Tell him that you never wash your mouth after a blowjob.
By
amaya726
| 4
How do you marry someone and not have found this out beforehand?
Reply
anothersuicide
| 0
well idk, maybe she doesn't always follow him into the mens room?
By
thatnucca
| 36
I guess now it's your turn to be paranoid...