By inlovewithstupid - 04/09/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 383
You deserved it 17 293

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Richard16 0

Get your self a male stripper... :)

my_usagi 0

Going to strip clubs and getting hard to girls taking off their clothes and dancing on your lap is cheating. It's different than ****. So, if you don't mind your bf watching girls strip at a club, what's the difference between that and him going over to his friend "sarahs" apartment so she can strip for him and give him a dance? What it's not like he's sleeping with her, right? If he thinks she's psycho for that. Then she can go dance naked and cocktease men, and if he doesn't like it, then he's "psycho".


Sandwiches have incredible healing powers.

fakeaccountX 6

Not as incredible as ********.

Midrash 5

There is a very simple solution to this..Give him an ultimatum... Go watch girls he can't touch or stay home with you to get a blow jobs.

Just because he's at a strip club doesn't mean he's cheating on you, it's just a boy's night out. Give him a break. He's not in love with the strippers. He's in love with you

OP you sound like a whiny bitch. I've been to titty bars with friends and my gf doesn't care, they're just boobs. Do you also forbid him to watch any movie with nudity? Only difference is it's live at a titty bar.

Just because you think it's okay to go to a strip club doesn't mean the girlfriend is just being a psycho. She has her. Own expectations and morals which the boyfriend should have known and respect. I wouldn't like my boyfriend going to a strip club unless I was there and he respects that.

25, do you bring that baby with you to "titty bars??" -.-

#32 Which club(s) do you strip at, and when are you on?

fallapart 5

Have you ever had a bf? You obviously don't understand her concept on why she doesn't want her bf to go see stripers.

my_usagi 0

Going to strip clubs and getting hard to girls taking off their clothes and dancing on your lap is cheating. It's different than ****. So, if you don't mind your bf watching girls strip at a club, what's the difference between that and him going over to his friend "sarahs" apartment so she can strip for him and give him a dance? What it's not like he's sleeping with her, right? If he thinks she's psycho for that. Then she can go dance naked and cocktease men, and if he doesn't like it, then he's "psycho".

12 feed him the sandwich while giving him a *******. Plus humm Don't Stop Believing, all while orienting a circus. He'd be impressed.

crazychick1269 7

20: Yes, he's watching ****** other than his girlfriend take off their clothes. Yeah, now what's the difference between that and cheating? Oh yeah, nothing. Nbd.

I'm not saying that every man should go to a strip club. All I'm saying is that she should cut him some slack. At the end of the day he comes home to her. And that's all that matters.

a_nutritionist 10

@86 hey if thats how you behave in a strip club then good for you. personally ive been to only one, i was in a relationship, i dont remember doing anything beyond talking n laughing with friends and wondering what the big deal is about the naked girl up on stage. but of course every single guy has to go there to touch and rub up against naked girls, right? its not like people do their own thing. this is an example of the female version of male gay bar mentality. guys think theyre gonna go to a gay bar and guys will flock to them hitting on them and shit, doesnt happen. girls think just cos a guy goes to a strip club hes gonna do something indecent/**** someone, doesnt happen. you may think your guy is all that, odds are the strippers dont, and if your guy is the type to go out and do all the things 86 mentioned maybe you should consider finding someone whos actually worth the time to be with...

pablothepenguin 2

But really if his girlfriend should be okay with him being around naked women, then obviously he should be okay with her being naked around men. I mean, it's not like they're doing anything 'wrong' in both scenarios, right?

153- You're disregarding the atmosphere Why the heck are you going to a strip club to chill with some of your friends when a pool or sports bar would be just as suffice? People get the wrong idea no matter what you say you did in a strip club, and it is best just to play it safe.

fallapart 5

142- you have such an interesting mind thinking if he comes home to you, that's all it matters. When you have a boyfriend going to a strip bar, telling you how wonderful it was you tell me how you feel. I mean, he's coming back home to you right? No biggie.

a_nutritionist 10

@157 nowhere does it suggest he isnt ok with it, so what is your point? @171 because socialising is a part of life.

'But really if his girlfriend should be okay with him being around naked women, then obviously he should be okay with her being naked around men. ' Nope. If his girlfriend should be okay with him being around naked women, then obviously he should be okay with her being around naked men. And in my experiences, men don't like it if their girlfriend sees other cocks. OP, FYL. As you can read in this FML, there are plenty of people who don't have a problem with their partner going to a stripclub, but if you're not one if them, then your partner should respect that. I think you should reconsider this relationship because it's obvious for me that he does whatever he wants, without thinking of your feelings.

190- How does your response answer what I said at all? I'll repeat it. Why go to a strip club when you could have a far better atmosphere chilling at a pool or a sports bar.

amayasoma 19

This really depends on the type of woman you are and the type of man he is. If he is a very untrustworthy guy and has a history of cheating and treating the woman wrong, than yeah, I can see this as a problem. However, if he has never done the female wrong and he's friends suddenly decide they want to go, why not let him? I know if my boyfriend told me he wanted to go with like his friend he hadn't seen in forever, I wouldn't care. I trust him to not do anything but stare. I know he wouldn't even dare get a lap dance from another woman. If the woman is that uncomfortable with it, she can either tell him to take her with him or he not go at all. You'll have those few men, who go there to just socialize and then you have those few who are pigs. This is when you have to know your man.

I hate that people make such a big deal about "nudity". It's just a body. There are no emotional ties with watching a stripper.

a_nutritionist 10

@193 because not everyone is happy to live a life of monotony and like to vary things up sometimes. besides, if my friends are going, why should i not go just because someone is paranoid about what im gonna do there? for instance if it were a bachelors party why should i decline simply because my partner doesnt trust me? i dont believe in unconditional trust, but this is just stupid. its a strip club, not a brothel.

a_nutritionist 10

@192 your experiences count for nothing. my ex has seen a male stripper before and my care factor then was nil. therefore, you cant assume he would give a damn about what she sees either, making the entire point moot.

224- Ok, I see your opinion and view. I just see it as an unnecessary place to go in the first place. Yes, I'm 17 and have never even seen the outside of one, but its not like I don't know what people do inside of them. It's just not somewhere I'd trust myself going.

142 yeah until he sees a stripper he "loves" and then leaves're an idiot

#25: Going to strip clubs while in a relationship without the consent or presence of your significant other is extremely insensitive, selfish, disrespectful, and demeaning. 1) Insensitive - If your girlfriend/boyfriend isn't okay with it, but you go anyway, you're basically telling them you don't care about their feelings. And if you really don't, why are you dating them in the first place? 2) Selfish - Along the same lines as being insensitive, going when the other isn't okay with it is just being selfish. Is it really so important to go, or are you just needlessly self-indulging at the other person's expense? 3) Disrespectful - Not respecting the wishes and personal boundaries of your girlfriend/boyfriend says that you don't consider them important. Which is more important to you: Seeing naked strangers or showing your significant other that they mean more to you than that? 4) Demeaning - Everything else aside, if you're dating someone, why do you even have the want to see other people, especially naked? Is your girlfriend/boyfriend not good enough? Taking that kind of enjoyment from others, which is supposed to be intimate between two people, demeans the one that isn't okay with it. It says "you're not enough to please me and I need to go look at other breasts." Really? How can you NOT see how this is offensive and hurtful to some people? Don't get me wrong, if you both consent to it, there isn't a problem, but OP clearly wasn't okay with this. If you can't "give up" seeing random strangers' breasts, then maybe you don't have any business seriously dating in the first place.

paynee 0

If he really loved her he wouldn't be going to strip clubs

If he leaves you for a stripper then you should question your entire relationship.

#80 I have a partner of whom i have been with for nearly 5 years we own a house together and i let him go to the strippers sometimes i even go with him. Don't be such a bloody prude OP its a stripper guys are not allowed to touch them the bouncers will kick them out if you are so threatened by it go along just so you can see that he will always go home for you at the end. A few strippers i have met here and actually talked to are studying at uni and getting degrees they aren't all ***** girls so stop being threatened by them.

Dear margie2194, Please stop talking. "…In the end he is still coming back to her". Example time! We are dating. We go out to eat. After we go in back alley, and I kick the shit out of you. I make you walk home, while I hook up with a Latino, a Black girl, and white girl. 3 hours later I arrive home, plastered with sweat and exhausted cause three women had there brains ****** from them. We lay in bed while snuggling and watching a romantic comedy. Sense a problem with your smarts? I do. Now sit down

erikaa916 0

#256, I agree 100% with your comment. I don't agree with my bf going to strip clubs. why pay to see a random stranger that he can't touch strip, when he can get it free from me? I'm against it, and I've made that very clear. if he decides to go anyway, it would show me that he has no regards for my feelings at all.

a_nutritionist 10

@290 yeah, who wouldnt want to eat the same meal every single day for the rest of their lives. who would want to spice up their sex life by trying new things. variety is definitely not the spice of life, repetition and familiarity is what life is about. its interesting that on this issue its the guy who doesnt care about the girlfriends feelings, when clearly he has feelings on the issue that are being not only ignored but suppressed.

Photographer2188 0

Wow so he can't have guy time??? **** women seriously!!! My guy goes ALL THE TIME!!! stop being insecure

Photographer2188 0

I don't see the problem. I go with my guy all the time he does by himself?? Why are girls so ******* insecure with themselves??? He's not cheating so grow up

I agree. I don't like when my husband goes to a strip club. Yes, I am insecure about how I look. I also cant help but think of the potential diseases he may pick up. (Germaphobe? Maybe) The worst thing is my fear that he will be thinking of some chick that he saw at the club while having sex with me. My solution is if he wants to go, fine, but I wont be happy, and he isn't getting sex for a week.

Agreed. You are incredibly insecure if u can't handle ur bf looking at other girls

The difference is anonymity, OPs boyfriend cannot contact the stripper afterwards and start something up and the fact that clubs have rules concerning touching the dancers. There are no bouncers and Sarah's apartment to stop OPs boyfriend from going to far. Strippers are professionals they aren't there to steal your damn boyfriend, they are there for the money. Its the same difference between OP getting a bikini wax from a male salonist and getting a bikini wax from her friend Bob, salonist is a professional who let things get to far, Bob is a personal friend. HUGE difference between watching naked people and getting naked for people so that analogy doesnt even make sense. Most guys arent going to freak out over their significant other watching **** but they dont want her to participate.

IKickPuppiesHard 16

#340 Finally a comment with some sense that isnt 10 feet deep drenched under insecurities. I dont know what happened to most of you or what movies you've been watching to believe that strippers are all slutbag boyfriend stealers and/or boyfriends that go are automatically unfaithful insensitive guys who think their gf isnt good enough to satisfy them. Its a professional establishment for entertainment. Not a free for all orgy. If you bf falls in love with a stripper just because she is half naked then guess what. You couldnt have went to a beach either. A pool party is out of the question. Shit a broadway show might even be pushing it. If love for the gf wasnt enough to keep him from wanting to cheat then you were doomed anyway. Temptation will be everywhere in some form or another so dont blame a strip club when the problem is something entirely different.

coolbeans26 12

Wow I am truly baffled by the amount of insecure people on this site. It's a bar who cares? Granted, if she is uncomfortable with him going there he should take that into consideration but it's a freakin bar. If a man tells a woman he doesn't want her going to certain places with her friends he is considered controlling but if a woman does it to a man she is "aware of her expectations"? Bullshit. Grow up

coolbeans26 12
Raaa_fml 5

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Way to take his side when you don't even know the whole story

some_shit 0

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59- It's like he's a chauvinist pig, or something.

59, you seem to support the woman, when you don't know the full story either. But I'll let it go because you listen to As I Lay Dying.

Ya I could tell you it's not that guys are pigs and it's fun for them to spend money on hoes for some strange reason

sxe_beast 11

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lidemocr 0

I actually agree. I have been married four years the a great man and I could not care less if he went to a titty bar even though he doesn't. First, what if one day I felt like having some wild fun? Second, if anything resembling trust is present in your relationship why not let him? Third, those girls are disgusting and I guarantee none of them will be interested in him.

22cute 17

There's no reason at all to judge the strippers. They're NOT disgusting they are beautiful and sexy - but they are real people with real boundaries and often real families to support. They DONT want your man. OP may have her reasons & her bf should respect her feelings. Personally, I side with the bf, though. There's no harm in looking and he'll come home wanting you OP. So why not?

I agree with you and I'm a female. Who cares if he sees a stripper? If you can't trust him, you guys should break up. I feel like it doesn't matter where he gets his appetite as long as he always eats at home.

sxe_beast 11

Woah, I didn't intend for sarcastic douchebag of a comment to spark a debate. lol.

Me and my girl go to strip clubs and it gets her horny as f**k. So maybe you should go with him.

a_nutritionist 10

@115 so is there anything there that isnt assumptive bullshit? what a pompous self righteous dick comment to make. its not like strippers hurt anyone or infringe on anyones way of life or their rights, and yet you talk about them as though theyre less than human. this isnt someone whos gone around molesting or bashing people, the girls take their clothes off for money because - believe it or not - not everyone has the same misguided moral code you ascribe to.

sxe_beast 11

I don't think strippers are disgusting and IDK how they're disrespecting their bodies? They're no different than underwear models (man or woman), actors/actresses who take their clothes off in movies, bodybuilding, etc. I think that this overly prude mentality is what's sickening. Human beings as a whole are beautiful creatures and our bodies should be free... not covered up. One of my close friend's mother was a stripper. She supported her two kids, went through college, and became an anesthesiologist. She remarried a teacher and together they started a business. My friend and her sister attend the school I go to (a nice private school). She probably wouldn't have had the same opportunities had she worked as a cleaning lady or baby sitter. She's a very nice, intelligent, and confident woman who had a bad upbringing. And lastly you CANNOT compare stripping to theft or mooching off the government. IDK how a stripper is stealing anything? They also make a lot of money and give a lot more back to the government than a dish washer and any of the other "more self respecting" low paying jobs you listed. Strippers make A LOT of money and if you've got what it takes to be one...then why not?

Stroke_Her_Ace 15
leadman1989 15

Usually the people so judgmental and "sickened" by "immorality" are the ones doing the sickest shit. This is ABSOLUTELY SOME RELIGIOUS BUSHIT! And frankly the church is far more of a disgusting cesspool than any strip club with their false hope and taking people's money to line their pockets and nothing to show for it.

PumpkinPanda 0

Haha reality check maybe? That's just gross

i agree that if you dont trust the guy, you shouldnt be with him, but some people are just uncomfortable with it. its not their fault. hell, if my bf wants to go so bad, i'll go too, but i'm not comfortable with him going with his friends. that doesnt mean i dont want him to have fun. just not with half naked women.

Richard16 0

Get your self a male stripper... :)

KattAlex 4

Then he would just call her a hypocrite.

Richard16 0

Atleast he would now know how she feels in a way.

leadman1989 15

If she's going out on a girls night fine, if she's doing it to spite him then he should end the relation ship because she's too childish and insecure.

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EnEl_Infierno 15

I advise against couples going to strip clubs together, because..... one of my ex's left me for one of the strippers. ;-P

Sorry u lucked out 77... But yea don't "forbid" him not to go cuz then he just might go and not tell u! Secrets ruin relationships. I go with my husband all da time sometimes with his friends and I always have a good time... I luv to see my hunnie enjoy himself ... Just to a certain extent :)

145, if that's you in your picture, then take my word for it, stop going, you're ruining it for him. Trust me.

Doesn't that defeat the purpose of going to a strip club

Good point but it just feels so wrong to have your boyfriend paying to see another girls bodies.

149 - Both comments I've seen from you in this FML have been directed at something in either of the people's profiles. First off, that's pretty creepy and extremely unintelligent of you to do. Second, you're a stoner Canadian skater. Therefore, any opinion you could ever have has no meaning. You know what I'm talking aboot?

JuggaletteKlown 0

I do agree with your comment, but you must realize that not everyone feels the same. Some woman just don't like the thought of their man going to watch woman shake their ass. If OP happens to be one of those woman, and her boyfriend insists on going and won't hear her out or compromise to help her feel more comfortable, then they should probably talk about their relationship seriously, because this in-agreement could cause future issues for them.

I agree totally. I know that my man isn't going to leave me for some stripper, so I don't fret about it. Plus he is rearing to go when he gets home. The moral of my story is, there are benefits for the girl too...great sex!

erikaa916 0

#241, so you have no problem knowing that the only reason your man wants to have sex is because he got horny off of watching strangers get naked? most likely he's picturing the stripper he just watched while he's having sex with you. if he has to go to a strip club in order for you two to have great sex then you're obviously not doing your job in getting him aroused.

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lionandthelamb61 9

I agree with the core of the statement: that men should be allowed to go to strip clubs with their friends. But, I don't think that men in relationships should have physical contact with the strippers, and I also don't think the assumption should be made that he's "hard working", or even working at all. Nowhere does it say that.

darkwing119 5

Your saying that probebly because your a stripper

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Ouch :( maybe you should explain to him you don't like him going to strip clubs...

Idontbelievethis 1

Fine line there. If he's just shaking loose with the boys and still loves and respects you, that's one thing. If he's escaping into it and away from you, thats another. Either way, be with him or don't, you ain't married to the man, you can't tell him what to do. YOU do what you want, let him decide whether or not he wants to live up to your standards. We dont have nagging rights, hon, we have leaving rights.