By hunchbackofnotredamn - 29/09/2015 08:33 - United Kingdom - Southam
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I agree #1. if I was OP I would've explained that while on a normal day I would give up my seat, today I happen to be recovering from spinal surgery and am not able to stand. Then I'd look at the rest of the people and say "maybe someone else who is able bodied would give up their seat for you" If that doesn't prompt another person to give up their seats then it looks like two pregnant ladies are standing. FTheirL at that point.
#1 I'm visibly disabled and quite often it's other disabled people who make an effort to give up a seat for me. Lots of able bodied people pretend they don't see me. It's sadly a very common thing. I'm not surprised no one else bothered to stand up and let those women sit.
You should have explained your predicament to them and they probably would have let you sit
I dont agree that first come first serve means you 'earned' the spot, heavily pregnant women should often take priority (obviously only when the person sitting down is healthy and able to safely stand alone), however I do take serious issue with the 'they probably would have let you sit' comment. They can be as indignant and antagonistic as they like, they don't get to dictate where people sit, it sucks, but having to stand is the risk you take when you get the train, even if they are pregnant, they're not invalids. If someone is kind enough to give up their seat then great, if they ask and someone is happy to move, again great, but they aren't in control of the fucking world, and they don't get to talk to people they don't know however they please simply because they feel more deserving. The unearned sense of entitlement so many people carry around with them nowadays is what is ruining society.
I dont know... i was on a bus on the airport and really sick on the way back home from a vacation. (without knowing i got a heavy fever) A father almost pulled me out of my seat because his daughter was walking on crutches. When my mom stood up and explained i was really sick, he just simply said he didnt care... good thing i didnt hear that
A find it kinda ridiculous this turned into a 'women want special privileges' argument. I don't agree that op had to give up his seat, and no people shouldn't give up a seat just because there's a woman. A woman whose heavily pregnant is a different matter. Just like I think elderly and injured should get seats over able bodied, so should heavily pregnant women.
It's not chivalry, 59. Sitting down for pregnant people is because being pregnant is basically constantly walking around with a bowling ball in your gut that gives you five million additional side effects. Obviously it doesn't take precedence over someone with a spinal injury, but it should over able-bodied people who will be in comparison much more comfortable standing for a few minutes.
I've been heavily pregnant twice and in those two times I never gave anyone shit for not putting me first. there are people out there who have a sense of entitlement, but there are people who will simply hold their own and accept whatever situation they're in. making someone feel shitty to get your way is just bullying, those women simply suck!
If a women is pregnant and would like a seat, she should ask nicely for it. It's a favor that someone else is doing for them. Of course, if it's a "reserved" seat and you are healthy and able, then yes you are generally expected to give your seat to the injured/elderly/pregnant, but that STILL doesn't give anyone the right to ask in a shitty way. Those women had no right to treat OP in such a humiliating way. That being said, giving a seat to a pregnant woman is NOT because "women are gods." It's about the baby. If men were the ones to get pregnant, THEY would be the ones being given seats: that's why when a man walks in with a small baby strapped in front of him, people tend to give them seats too. At least they do where I live. Why? Partly because babies are heavy and you can't just plop them onto the floor like you can a box/bag, and partly because if the bus/metro jerks to a stop you wouldn't want the parent to fall down on their belly or whatever and cause health complications to them/the baby, etc....Besides, every pregnancy is different and while some women's may go smoothly enough that the seat isn't needed, another's pregnancy may be particularly difficult in that respect.
#59, we aren't talking about some random bitchy woman, jeez! Women aren't always treated like "gods." I sure as hell aren't treated or looked at that way where I live. We are talking about PREGNANT women who obviously can't stand that long. We're talking about these women who also probably couldn't tell OP needed to sit just by looking at him.
Women aren't always treated as gods. Pregnant women are given priority as they have extra weight and their feet get sore. They are being careful and protecting their child and people appreciate that and allow them to sit. I agree that they should have let him or her sit but you don't have to be so rude. And just because you get there first doesn't mean you earned your seat. The bus didn't come to them first. They were ready for their bus.
Agreed #63. I've been pregnant before and I was even on bed rest at the end (which I still had to go a few places) and I would NEVER had asked someone to get up. I might have been upset about it in my own mind but if someone doesn't offer, they either had a good reason or I wouldn't want to ask them anyways for fear they would be rude. I don't know how people have gotten to this point where they are so rudely outspoken and feel they have some kind of entitlement and if they aren't treated like royalty, they get offended and treat everyone like crap.
I'm sure OP has experienced pain related to their medical issue for more than just the 4 hours they had to stand. Their pain was just worsened by having to stand. Unfortunately the general public is not very understanding when it comes to invisible disabilities. You can't really compare it to childbirth when we do not know the extent of OP's medical problems.
It's irrelevant since they weren't in labor at that moment. Also, I hate the sense of entitlement some pregnant women have. You're pregnant. Not handicapped. I get that some women have complications before, during and after pregnancy but most simply use their pregnant state as an excuse to bitch about everything and anything to anyone. Also, an epidural is a wonderful thing and most women who use it feel close to nothing during delivery but unless you know how painful or painless their delivery might be you can not compare OPs pain to theirs. Don't be so quick to dismiss it.
No. I was in labor for 18 hours. You cannot drink or eat anything . Ur in horrible pain and (sorry for being explicit) but ur vagina rips and u have to car for ur stitches which hurts like hell for 6 weeks plus ur breast get engorged and its extremely painful , theirs much more to it. I rather spinal surgery
I call BS, 156. Unless you're a scheduled C-Section, you can eat and drink. Most doctors and CNMs encourage patients to. And a doctor isn't going to let the perineum (not 'vagina') tear. IF it looks like it will, or it begins to, they'll do an episiotomy--painful but less so than, and not equal to, a tear. And you're clearly clueless if you think that REMOTELY compares to spinal surgery.
Actually no. Once you progress to a certain point in your labor they tell you not to eat or drink anything on the off chance that something goes wrong and a surgery may need to occur. They need your stomach empty in case an emergency c-section were to happen. Thats why you often hear about laboring women eating ice chips, they give you those to keep your mouth wet without actually drinking anything. I was in labor for 23 hours before there were complication leading to an emergency c-section and they did not let me eat from the time I was admitted until after I came out of recovery.
Come on, we all know what 8 means. The FML makes it sound like a 4 hour journey on a train with three people and only two seats, which would be ridiculous. I imagine 8 is asking what happened to all the other seats the train must have. I assume other people were sitting on them but, unless everyone in that carriage happened to also be pregnant/disabled/elderly/ill, there should have been someone else able to give up their seat.
That must have been annoying! Unfortunately not all "disabilities" or injured are physically seen. Having grown up with a eye impairment, I know the feeling. Was there more convenient seating near by? Hope it worked out well for all