By hunchbackofnotredamn - 29/09/2015 08:33 - United Kingdom - Southam

Today, I had to stand up on a train for my 4-hour journey. Why? Two pregnant women flew into unbridled rage with me over sitting in the priority seating, saying I was selfish. I'm recovering from spinal surgery. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 410
You deserved it 2 276

Same thing different taste

Top comments

alex_the_tiger 14

And someone else couldn't get up for them? It had to be you and you only?

You should have explained your predicament to them and they probably would have let you sit


alex_the_tiger 14

And someone else couldn't get up for them? It had to be you and you only?

#25: Yes, I have reasoned with a pregnant woman before. Your point?


I agree #1. if I was OP I would've explained that while on a normal day I would give up my seat, today I happen to be recovering from spinal surgery and am not able to stand. Then I'd look at the rest of the people and say "maybe someone else who is able bodied would give up their seat for you" If that doesn't prompt another person to give up their seats then it looks like two pregnant ladies are standing. FTheirL at that point.

#38, notice that #25 said "hormonal pregnant woman" not "pregnant woman". Nice try avoiding that detail.

All pregnant women are hormonal. Interestingly, every person on the planet is hormonal - as we all have hormones controlling many different functions in our bodies at any given time!

@92 Glad that you can point that out. Another fact that you forgot to leave out is that they are more or less "out of balance" in pregnant women. But you know, they have hormones and so does everyone else so it does the same thing right?

#92, yes, but saying "hormonal" in this context implies an imbalance in hormones.

#89: I forgot to put the word in. However, when I eventually realized, I figured my comment would be clear enough.

#1 I'm visibly disabled and quite often it's other disabled people who make an effort to give up a seat for me. Lots of able bodied people pretend they don't see me. It's sadly a very common thing. I'm not surprised no one else bothered to stand up and let those women sit.

Well, if it happened to another person, then wouldn't that person be in the same situation?

They mean an able-bodied person getting up for them, not someone like op who NEEDS a seat like op.

You should have explained your predicament to them and they probably would have let you sit

darthhera 11

Because pregnant, hormonal women are so rational.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

"Let you"? **** this whole one sided chivalry shit where women are always treated like gods. Sit if you want because you got there first and EARNED your spot.

I dont agree that first come first serve means you 'earned' the spot, heavily pregnant women should often take priority (obviously only when the person sitting down is healthy and able to safely stand alone), however I do take serious issue with the 'they probably would have let you sit' comment. They can be as indignant and antagonistic as they like, they don't get to dictate where people sit, it sucks, but having to stand is the risk you take when you get the train, even if they are pregnant, they're not invalids. If someone is kind enough to give up their seat then great, if they ask and someone is happy to move, again great, but they aren't in control of the ******* world, and they don't get to talk to people they don't know however they please simply because they feel more deserving. The unearned sense of entitlement so many people carry around with them nowadays is what is ruining society.

brocho 26

I completely agree with you! Being a woman myself, I think it's bullshit how some women think they deserve superior treatment.

I dont know... i was on a bus on the airport and really sick on the way back home from a vacation. (without knowing i got a heavy fever) A father almost pulled me out of my seat because his daughter was walking on crutches. When my mom stood up and explained i was really sick, he just simply said he didnt care... good thing i didnt hear that

A find it kinda ridiculous this turned into a 'women want special privileges' argument. I don't agree that op had to give up his seat, and no people shouldn't give up a seat just because there's a woman. A woman whose heavily pregnant is a different matter. Just like I think elderly and injured should get seats over able bodied, so should heavily pregnant women.

It's not chivalry, 59. Sitting down for pregnant people is because being pregnant is basically constantly walking around with a bowling ball in your gut that gives you five million additional side effects. Obviously it doesn't take precedence over someone with a spinal injury, but it should over able-bodied people who will be in comparison much more comfortable standing for a few minutes.

I've been heavily pregnant twice and in those two times I never gave anyone shit for not putting me first. there are people out there who have a sense of entitlement, but there are people who will simply hold their own and accept whatever situation they're in. making someone feel shitty to get your way is just bullying, those women simply suck!

If a women is pregnant and would like a seat, she should ask nicely for it. It's a favor that someone else is doing for them. Of course, if it's a "reserved" seat and you are healthy and able, then yes you are generally expected to give your seat to the injured/elderly/pregnant, but that STILL doesn't give anyone the right to ask in a shitty way. Those women had no right to treat OP in such a humiliating way. That being said, giving a seat to a pregnant woman is NOT because "women are gods." It's about the baby. If men were the ones to get pregnant, THEY would be the ones being given seats: that's why when a man walks in with a small baby strapped in front of him, people tend to give them seats too. At least they do where I live. Why? Partly because babies are heavy and you can't just plop them onto the floor like you can a box/bag, and partly because if the bus/metro jerks to a stop you wouldn't want the parent to fall down on their belly or whatever and cause health complications to them/the baby, etc....Besides, every pregnancy is different and while some women's may go smoothly enough that the seat isn't needed, another's pregnancy may be particularly difficult in that respect.

#59, we aren't talking about some random bitchy woman, jeez! Women aren't always treated like "gods." I sure as hell aren't treated or looked at that way where I live. We are talking about PREGNANT women who obviously can't stand that long. We're talking about these women who also probably couldn't tell OP needed to sit just by looking at him.

Women aren't always treated as gods. Pregnant women are given priority as they have extra weight and their feet get sore. They are being careful and protecting their child and people appreciate that and allow them to sit. I agree that they should have let him or her sit but you don't have to be so rude. And just because you get there first doesn't mean you earned your seat. The bus didn't come to them first. They were ready for their bus.

#59 I'm guessing you are siding with the pregnant woman from the snippy tone of your comment ... Is just sad

addisonrose12 16

Agreed #63. I've been pregnant before and I was even on bed rest at the end (which I still had to go a few places) and I would NEVER had asked someone to get up. I might have been upset about it in my own mind but if someone doesn't offer, they either had a good reason or I wouldn't want to ask them anyways for fear they would be rude. I don't know how people have gotten to this point where they are so rudely outspoken and feel they have some kind of entitlement and if they aren't treated like royalty, they get offended and treat everyone like crap.

I'm surprised no one offered you a seat that's horrible OP at least the worst of its over

So they somehow shared a seat, being pregnant and all? I would have have said something. Someone else could have gotten up

cooltatgar 31

Hormones man ... yet that doesn't give them the right to take something that you obviously need.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

And yet they're not in labor now. So that's totally irrelevant.

Pregnant women need to stay active. It makes the birthing process easier. Also, I don't feel sorry for those who use their pregnancy as an excuse for their bitchiness.

If you don't have a broken disk in your back, or herniated disks, you shouldn't say things like that. Is not just a four hour thing. Let alone a surgery.

I'm sure OP has experienced pain related to their medical issue for more than just the 4 hours they had to stand. Their pain was just worsened by having to stand. Unfortunately the general public is not very understanding when it comes to invisible disabilities. You can't really compare it to childbirth when we do not know the extent of OP's medical problems.

ExtremeEncounter 32

Correct me if I'm wrong 30, but they're not exactly giving birth at that exact moment. Having to stand with spinal problems is far worse than simply standing while pregnant.

It's irrelevant since they weren't in labor at that moment. Also, I hate the sense of entitlement some pregnant women have. You're pregnant. Not handicapped. I get that some women have complications before, during and after pregnancy but most simply use their pregnant state as an excuse to bitch about everything and anything to anyone. Also, an epidural is a wonderful thing and most women who use it feel close to nothing during delivery but unless you know how painful or painless their delivery might be you can not compare OPs pain to theirs. Don't be so quick to dismiss it.

thatonetribute 31

They had no excuse to act that way.

Im going to die in the future. Give me your seat.

I can say from my wife's experience, she said that is more painful. That's what a car crash got the two of us, back problems for life

Well, a bit of standing won't hurt them, it isn't like they are in labour exactly at that time. A spinal surgery os extremely painful and standing would aggravate the pain.

Ive had back issues for almost three years now. Im pretty sure someone with spinal surgery has been in enough pain longer than labor.

No. I was in labor for 18 hours. You cannot drink or eat anything . Ur in horrible pain and (sorry for being explicit) but ur ****** rips and u have to car for ur stitches which hurts like hell for 6 weeks plus ur breast get engorged and its extremely painful , theirs much more to it. I rather spinal surgery

I call BS, 156. Unless you're a scheduled C-Section, you can eat and drink. Most doctors and CNMs encourage patients to. And a doctor isn't going to let the perineum (not '******') tear. IF it looks like it will, or it begins to, they'll do an episiotomy--painful but less so than, and not equal to, a tear. And you're clearly clueless if you think that REMOTELY compares to spinal surgery.

Actually no. Once you progress to a certain point in your labor they tell you not to eat or drink anything on the off chance that something goes wrong and a surgery may need to occur. They need your stomach empty in case an emergency c-section were to happen. Thats why you often hear about laboring women eating ice chips, they give you those to keep your mouth wet without actually drinking anything. I was in labor for 23 hours before there were complication leading to an emergency c-section and they did not let me eat from the time I was admitted until after I came out of recovery.

Yes, of course, there was an empty seat right opposite that was invisible to the pregnant women, OP just decided to stand in pain for four hours for ***** and giggles.

My point of my comment was getting at the priority seating...OP could have taken a basic seat not a priority...

OP said he had to stand for 4 hours. I doubt he would have done that if there had been any seats left.

Or the pregnant lady could of taken basic seating, spinal injury>pregnancy

Come on, we all know what 8 means. The FML makes it sound like a 4 hour journey on a train with three people and only two seats, which would be ridiculous. I imagine 8 is asking what happened to all the other seats the train must have. I assume other people were sitting on them but, unless everyone in that carriage happened to also be pregnant/disabled/elderly/ill, there should have been someone else able to give up their seat.

At least 148 understands what I was getting at

I'm sure there was a regular seat available and that whiny OP stood simply to make a point. Your reality check is in the mail

You must have a lot of friends, being such a bright, optimistic person.

That must have been annoying! Unfortunately not all "disabilities" or injured are physically seen. Having grown up with a eye impairment, I know the feeling. Was there more convenient seating near by? Hope it worked out well for all

Considering they stood for 4 hours, I assume there wasn't any more convenient seating for them.

trellz17 19

Why didn't you say something? That's kinda messed up.

Why assume that he didn't say anything? A pregnant woman in a rage is hardly going to be a candidate for Mrs rationality.

trellz17 19

I'm assuming he didn't say anything because he actually stood up for them. If I just had spinal surgery and actually needed to sit down, I wouldn't get up, not even for a pregnant woman and I would explain to them why. No one can make you do anything.

countryb_cth 38

Well then can if the ladies physically forced OP out of their seat.

trellz17 19