Intimacy: Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam....

By sadgirl - 23/01/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 918

You deserved it 56 267

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 023

You deserved it 9 308

By ditsy - 15/07/2010 09:17 - United States

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 778

You deserved it 28 108

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 735

You deserved it 9 193

By lovely321 - 02/04/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 720

You deserved it 50 110

By Anonymous - 16/06/2014 15:24 - Germany

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 186

You deserved it 8 830

By angry - 04/11/2009 18:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on webcam with my girlfriend, who was naked. She turned the webcam to point it at the screen for a second, and she was also on webcam with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 672

You deserved it 3 240

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 07:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 7 147

By BARF - 27/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 546

You deserved it 130 370

Holy eyesight, Batman!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 22:00

Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 218

What are you doing?

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 412

You deserved it 19 395

MisterJD 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 15:44

Well I guess some people are just a natural born ho, others maybe need more practice.

MCart_fml 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 1:24

Anyone else thinking American Pie right now?

Comments

MisterJD 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 15:44

Well I guess some people are just a natural born ho, others maybe need more practice.

angiemarie96 25

Friday 14 December 2012 1:50

She's amanda Todd, but american

ThatOneTimeLord 25

Wednesday 25 June 2014 14:20

Little bit to soon. (Considering the date of this post)

MCart_fml 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 1:24

Anyone else thinking American Pie right now?

ryguy1997 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 17:12

Pie is European.

jags4evr 0

Friday 13 February 2009 4:32

ve;oufh2n l31keldj12ncbg

Thrice 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 18:23

you didn't turn it into a sexy dance like they say in flight of the conchords

mikeloyst 0

Friday 20 March 2009 5:16

hey msg your msn here and we'll 'talk' sometime

krazykyra 12

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:02

How desperate... You don't even know if OP is ugly.

xobabygurlx23 2

Monday 23 March 2009 18:32

LMFAO, that's a move I'd make. tryna be sexy & BOOM , make a fool outta myself. I give you props.

squirm 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 14:54

Why do people call pants or knickers panties???

dreamer2526 0

Wednesday 31 March 2010 5:46

panties... as in underwear for girls.

hurrimmadurg 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 6:33

...duh? O.o

LadyEmi 15

Friday 24 August 2012 17:46

Dude panties are underwear you dork not pants!

shadexilmaendu 4

Thursday 6 September 2012 0:29

In some European countries they call underwear pants... I know that's the case in England.

_DivaStylsz_ 0

Monday 6 April 2009 22:31

oh gosh , not a good loook.

fuckkkkk_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 22:54

screenname please? haha forreal i dont care if u trip...

PokeyStix 3

Friday 12 June 2009 21:10

LOL #11 But seriously? *****.

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Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 2 303

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 195

You deserved it 3 635

Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 812

You deserved it 4 442

Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 242

Today, after a supervisor, who is a Donald Trump fanatic, kept pestering us with the subject, I decided to debate with him, never swearing or disrespecting him at all. I was fired, presumably for disrespecting a supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 565

Today, it seems my body wants me to be a hermit: alone in nature for days, I'm fine. Yet to any kind of stress – like being at the office or in a social setting – my body reacts with smelly sweats, extreme bloating, and frequent flatulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 139

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 4 811

Same thing different taste

Holy eyesight, Batman!

What are you doing?

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