By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 386
You deserved it 3 956

Same thing different taste

Top comments

bargarlm 2

So she thinks she's full of air? That makes sense, sounds like she's an airhead....


Sounds to me like she's burning off plenty of calories! Or brain-cells :D

63- seriously. Like whatever happened to simple emoticons like :)?

darien987 1

You still do the XD? This is me judging you.

4- Trying making that face in real life and see what happens.

153 needs to learn how to write a sentence. 169 needs to learn how to spell. 175 needs to learn how to use grammar. XD ;)

yumlicious 4

188- that's not spelling though ya dumbshit

192- don't call 188 a dumb shit, he didn't make that accusation, #176 did. 188 merely pointed out the wrong word used.

192- did you just call someone a dumbshit? You must feel so cool right now...

n_epic_fail 14

She probably lives by the motto "a few burps a day keeps the pounds away."

Wait, so burping DOESN'T reduce weight? Shit, so much for my plans to fly

CoolRainbowdash 15

There are a few things you don't just tolerate. A girlfriend liking twilight? Sure, long as they admit it's not the pinnacle of literature. Little quirks are fine. This is fundamental and stubborn ignorance that can be very indicative of her overall personality. OP, explain that if anything not burping reduces her weight. Warm air rises.

Perhaps her excess gas is inside her head.

if she burps enough, she could puke and lose weight that way

That wasn't very creative 31. The rhyme is already there, "an apple" and "doctor" are interchangeable with anything.

Hunthas 17

Technically she is losing volume due to the release of gasses from her stomach.. She will have less mass the more she burps... Sooo... Yea... Conservation of masses>idiots who judge while having less knowledge then those they are critiquing...

You have a lazy girlfriend who's a blatant idiot. I think you should check yourself on your women preferences...

Well 114... Mass and weight are two different things..

sExxicHiCky123 0
sinking_fish 12

39- No, no, no. Fizzy Lifting drinks from the Wonka Factory make you float. Burping makes you descend!:)

Tell her semen is a natural fat burner. Your welcome.

bargarlm 2

So she thinks she's full of air? That makes sense, sounds like she's an airhead....

unitedfan11 0

Oh so you have one of those type of girls. Just tell her it's a scientifically proven fact that burping too much leads to obesity. That'll make her stop for sure.

Nightmayre 7

And I love it when people insult other's spelling of "blond," as if they don't know both are acceptable.

Op should tell her that she is deflating the air in her head and could cause a catastrophic stupidity meltdown.

At least she's not sucking helium back to lose weight...

StillSinging9594 0

But that would be so much more entertaining!

xSonic 9

He should plunge air outta her butthole with his pe- Too far?

jwade11 12

Ok so I love number 7's picture (and yes I just commented on someone's picture).. I love cats!!!......... And next, ummm.... OP's gf seems dumb as hell. I mean, I AM DITSY and I know burping doesn't do that! But honestly burping isn't hurting her so go on and let her do it, it's not hurting anyone. She can just continue burping thinking she's getting slimmer. What can you do.....

Smile and nod. Don't burst her bubble, if it makes her feel good, why not.

I'll tell you why. Because it doesn't stop with burping or farting to shed weight. Next she will think FMYLife is an advice column, global warming is real, toilet water swirls counter-clockwise in Southern Hemisphere, Santa is fake, etc... etc... etc... OP just has to nip in the bud. Nip it. Nip.

Well global warming is real... It may not have the direct and noticeable effect of getting really hot all of a sudden but the earth is climbing in temperature every year and believe it or not will result in the next iceage happening much sooner than the earth originally planed. Thumb me down but science has proven this theory, it's happened before except much slower

How did my comment about smiles and bubbles turn into a multi sentence debate on global warming? :S

Oh fanks, I like yours also. Consuela is the main reason I enjoy that show. She's amazing.

True dat. Its a Shame she's in barely any parts

148- Yawn. Have done many research papers on the subject. Not proven. Still a theory.

170 - Say 'just a theory' again. I dare you, I double dare you ************, say 'just a theory' one more goddamn time!

Aww shit, you just did it. Don't be complaining to us when your world be burnin' and we do nothing because you just had to say it again!

Ya the earth goes thru natural phases of climate shift and the earth get really warm and it causes it to fall dramatically into an iceage it's happened hundreds of time in the earths history and it will happen again global warming simply states that we as humans r speeding up that process which will cause the next iceage must sooner than it should have happened

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

9- time to get a ******* life. Just kidding. That wasn't nice.

MistaBlista 9

Not what the trainers on The Biggest Loser would do for workouts, I'd imagine...