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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36195) - you deserved it (2500)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43852) - you deserved it (2847)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (18489)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (12628)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you deserved it (2267)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41658) - you deserved it (3198)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45648) - you deserved it (3709)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (3288)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38099) - you deserved it (13673)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38453) - you deserved it (2607)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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