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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51867) - you deserved it (13553)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40625) - you deserved it (2540)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55603) - you deserved it (7218)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40759) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (7793)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (15175)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34556) - you deserved it (19190)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41076) - you deserved it (14515)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46070) - you deserved it (3000)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49154) - you deserved it (4005)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42060) - you deserved it (11733)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany



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