Health, Food and Gross: Big tasty - FML

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 589

Health Food Gross

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Top comments

Miss Beep 14

Friday 31 May 2019 12:11

YDI for grabbing someone else's beer. Don't touch my damn beer 😂

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 31 May 2019 7:58

You’re eating bacon and butts? Are you sure this counts as an FML? Sounds like a fantasy to me.

Miss Beep 14

Friday 31 May 2019 12:11

YDI for grabbing someone else's beer. Don't touch my damn beer 😂

Keywords

Jealousy Friends Love AITA Social Media Relatable Bodyshaming Miscellaneous Kids Weird Religion Parents Books Teenagers Sex Suspicious Cops Pranks Annoying YouTube Dogs Animals Argument Ironic Health Dad jokes My ex Alcohol Drunk Pregnancy

The Top

Aujourd'hui, mes parents font une sortie resto pour l'occasion de leurs 10 ans de mariage. Ma mère engage un babysitter pour garder mes frères, mais je dois rester à la maison pour travailler sur un projet perso. Vers 19h le babysitter arrive. Surprise. C'était mon ex. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 3 989

You deserved it 558

Aujourd'hui, j'ai laissé mon iPhone tout neuf sur mon balcon. Aujourd'hui, mon chat a voulu faire le malin sur mon balcon. Résultat : un des deux est mort accidentellement et l'autre, je ne vais sûrement pas tarder à le tuer. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 93 988

You deserved it 45 649

The Top

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 739

You deserved it 9 142

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 3 173

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 061

You deserved it 6 059

Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 074

You deserved it 52 682

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 924

You deserved it 75 281

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 026

You deserved it 12 484