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Wednesday 19 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50176) - you deserved it (3084)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49066) - you deserved it (14029)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49354) - you deserved it (10410)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43110) - you deserved it (20479)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54147) - you deserved it (8480)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69257) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51753) - you deserved it (3687)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38683) - you deserved it (8934)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (65182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48811) - you deserved it (4029)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50532) - you deserved it (13884)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78302) - you deserved it (7157)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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