Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 19 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49817) - you deserved it (3065)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49018) - you deserved it (14027)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49317) - you deserved it (10401)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43086) - you deserved it (20466)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54103) - you deserved it (8479)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69194) - you deserved it (6581)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51704) - you deserved it (3685)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (8930)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (65134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48771) - you deserved it (4028)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50476) - you deserved it (13875)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74727) - you deserved it (6784)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: