The Top

Op here. I don't have a problem with various bodily fluids getting on the sheets. But. I have tissues on the headboard and my bathroom is two steps away from my bed. So it was just generally disrespectful all around.

Good boy

By Lua - 28/06/2016 17:09 - France - Laon

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 389

You deserved it 936

By GoAggies - 21/06/2016 17:11 - United States - Herriman

Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 045

You deserved it 2 513

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 543

You deserved it 2 776

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 333

You deserved it 3 427

By TriangularBanana - 06/05/2016 21:45 - United States - Cypress

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 101

You deserved it 1 597

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Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 208

You deserved it 2 988

Today, during a romantic shower with my girlfriend, I slipped, fell, and took the both the shower curtain and rod with me. My dignity hurts more than my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 739

You deserved it 547

Today, I was sitting at a lunch table with some of my coworkers when one of them decided to put out his cigarette on the table and missed. I now have a nice burn mark on my hand. Did he say sorry? No. "Your hand shouldn't have been there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 855

You deserved it 413

Today, even after 4 years of service together, my sarge still calls me Pete, Paul, George, and even sometimes Thingummy bob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 30

Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 625

You deserved it 431

Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 140