By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 652
You deserved it 1 701

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It's easy, just cure yourself and then take the medicine!

Well that's a problem

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Well that's a problem

More like a shitty situation to be STUCK in. I'm sorry, please show me the door.

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Defecate is the action of pooping.

Don't listen to number #18. Defecate is a type of coffee. So every time you walk into Starbucks, ask for defecated coffee....... I'm a terrible person.

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You're not a grammar police officer. You're a grammar meter maid.

Mr. Sassy Pants is living up to his name.

@ Mr Sassypants, I think I'm gonna do that just for shits and giggles...

It's easy, just cure yourself and then take the medicine!

Logic these days. Getting better, am I right?

Tbh it prolly tells you that so that when you take it, shit doesn't come flying out, with you unprepared.

^ if it makes shit come flying out of you, I think the dosage should be lowered

amileah13 26

The irony in that

chrisbeaudoin 26

Thanks, captain obvious

You're welcome sergeant sarcasm ..I had to I'm sorry

No need to apologize, Lieutenant Latina. ^_^

nice one Major MrSassypants

who knew army members were active on fml?

I think most comments state the obvious, what else will comments do?

*facepalm*

So this is how the pharmaceutical industry tries to steal your money these days..

Defacate with what?

I'd love to see some other instructions made by this company. Please clean your hands before washing them. Please clean your clothes before laundering them. For best results put on clothes, before getting dressed.

"Not for other use."

Instead of taking constipation medications you could simply start to drink more water (at least 1.5 to 2 liters per day), eat more fibers (vegetables, fruits, whole grains) and exercise more. If you do that you will easily and quickly defecate 1-2 times per day without much effort.

sometimes it's not that simple. OP could have a medical condition like gastroparesis or IBS.

Yeah because everyones body works the same way. What a novel idea!

Op, if those meds don't work, I highly suggest talking to your doctor about taking Magnesium Glycinate capsules! They're all natural but work way better than any medication out there. They're really easy on the stomach and intestines and you rarely feel the painful cramping that comes with emptying. I know of several people that have medical conditions and are severely constipated all the time and taking laxatives don't help, but the magnesium does. It's wonderful and all natural. Message me if you want to know more.

23, I can't believe you know what Gastroparesis is! I have Gastroparesis and any time I mention it no one knows what it is. No one but doctors know what it is practically. A lot of doctors I've met don't even know anything about it. Makes me happy to know someone outside the medical world even knows what it is. Lol. Sorry for rambling, but it's completely taken over my life, and it's frustrating that no one knows what it is. No money going into research if no ones even heard of it. Lol. Gastroparesis awareness :) haha.

#37, My mom also has it and the doctors used to tell her it was all in her head or was from the pain meds she took. I am glad there are other people who have it and I wish doctors knew more about it

#8, Everybody's body is different. What works for you might now work for the OP. I drink a lot of water, walk every day, and love fruits, veggies, and wheat bread. The other night I had to use pills because I was constipated

Was there a troll face next to the instructions? Lol

Kinda Defeats the purpose, at this rate you will have multiple #2 appointments day FYL OP