Animals: Today, I found out that when I was 4 I killed my bunny by drowning... - FML

By aishyaslife89 - 06/10/2015 22:03 - United States - Dayton

Today, I found out that when I was 4 I killed my bunny by drowning it. Apparently, my aunt bribed me to do it because it pooped in her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 859

You deserved it 2 496

Empathy lives

Mistaken identity

Paul Blurt

By Anonymous - 29/12/2018 10:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I found out my 8th period science teacher got fired. Our final is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 186

You deserved it 314

By HYRTE - 06/09/2017 04:30

Today, I returned a shirt for my mom. When the cashier asked why, I just said my mom didn't like the way it looked. After an awkward pause, I noticed the cashier was wearing the same shirt. She was not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 961

You deserved it 356

By STOPTAKINGPICTURES - 08/07/2013 23:45 - United States - New York

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 857

You deserved it 5 077

By aricababyy - 29/12/2016 05:09 - United States - Winchester

Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 740

You deserved it 572

By Anonymous - 02/12/2018 15:30

Today, I learned after weeks of waiting that my order of vinyl siding had been shipped to a contractor in another state, who installed it without realizing it was the wrong style and color. I would have to wait weeks for a new shipment, except the manufacturer has discontinued it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 635

You deserved it 149

It's a holly jolly Christmas…

By Victor - 24/12/2020 14:02

Today, I usually take my daughter to daycare; my wife had to drop her daughter off at 8. The kid refused to get up, making them late. Wife argues with me, claiming I made her late. She said hurtful things and left late at 8:30. We haven't spoken and probably won't for the rest of Christmas week. I love Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 15:22 - United States - Yukon

Today, I spent over $20 at the laundromat doing two weeks of laundry, just to avoid using the facilities in my apartment complex and having to deal with my creepy landlord trying to steal my underwear again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 459

You deserved it 1 602

So, it is not immoral ?

By Anonymous - 17/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my parents were arguing about their relationship. My mom, who is very Christian, yells at my dad for watching porn. My dad responds, "Of course I watch porn, I've told you! I have shown you!" He is also the one who stressed to me at a very young age that porn is immoral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 156

By bad boyfriend - 26/03/2010 01:50 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 442

You deserved it 25 209

By ajnmegs - 19/04/2012 16:08 - United States - Aurora

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 088

You deserved it 5 860

By Flattie - 14/09/2017 04:30

Today, I finally measured myself to find a properly fitted bra. I'm AAA, a size which doesn't technically exist. Goodbye self esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 506

You deserved it 328

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 06:05

Today, I went to the phone store to get a new SIM card. The store manager went on my browser to see if my data was working. Two pages of porn popped up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 4 510

By yerface - 13/02/2009 03:52 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 672

You deserved it 8 693

Oh, hello there

By Jon - 18/01/2010 20:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 568

You deserved it 8 824

By Anonymous - 08/01/2014 04:21 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 205

You deserved it 34 913

By Anonymous - 09/05/2013 07:35 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 209

You deserved it 3 771

By ITM21 - 09/03/2012 06:43 - United States

Today, I accused a student in my class of getting his dad to do his homework. It turns out that his dad died 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 759

You deserved it 57 879

By AyoitsSteveo - 24/05/2009 09:49 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 901

You deserved it 159 049

By Unfortunately Me - 09/01/2014 00:54 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 055

You deserved it 12 042

By I Tried - 29/01/2016 22:18 - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 385

You deserved it 3 616

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 05:17 - United States - Muncy

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 758

You deserved it 6 140

By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 14:04 - Denmark

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said, "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 767

You deserved it 5 026

By hfksorws - 08/10/2010 01:57 - France

Today, I was at Barnes and Noble with my dad, where he refused to buy me a book because I "already read too much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 104

You deserved it 6 050

By cheat - 18/10/2009 11:30 - United States

Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm 'so slow a turtle could kick my ass' and that he has 'a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 067

You deserved it 37 120

By Kristinmarsh08 - 29/10/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 294

You deserved it 3 690

Life imitates art

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 11:01

Today, I realized that I've watched so much Honey Boo Boo that I've developed a mild southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 1 052

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 565

You deserved it 13 738

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 15:25

Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 395

You deserved it 2 385

By yeaokay - 29/10/2010 05:22 - United States

Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and I. It started with, "I love you", and ended with, "You and your brother were mistakes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 067

You deserved it 2 825

By AgentKoos_99 - 11/10/2016 07:52 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after waiting 3 months to see if I got the job I had applied for, I was told that they never received my application. Turns out that the email address that they told me to send it to was not being checked anymore and that they would be happy to consider me for the following year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 910

You deserved it 1 342

By o.v. - 16/05/2011 16:04 - Bangladesh

Today, the pipe in the dining room sink suddenly broke open and in about 15 minutes my entire apartment was turned into an indoor swimming pool. The worst part? I was there the entire time, playing video games with my headphones on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 063

You deserved it 47 515

By jj - 07/11/2014 05:47 - Australia - Windermere Park

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 3 350

By xmeatballx21 - 03/06/2011 09:57 - United States

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 325

You deserved it 3 374

We need a break

By pst - 21/11/2010 01:06 - South Africa

Spicy

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 635

You deserved it 59 079

Moving day

By Anonymous - 11/09/2015 18:49 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I told to my girlfriend of 5 years that I'm depressed about having no friends, no job and a difficult family life. I told her that she's the one constant that keeps me going. She decided this was a good time to break up with me to "find" herself, since I was being so mopey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 286

You deserved it 3 809

By Ashley Youngman - 16/06/2019 20:04

Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 1 143

You won't know him, he goes to a different school

By jennavankirk - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year-olds about having a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 907

You deserved it 32 256

By sh3n-D - 07/06/2012 21:26 - Denmark - Herning

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 611

You deserved it 39 099

Thanks, I hate it

By effmylife - 23/10/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 680

You deserved it 3 643

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 911

You deserved it 13 014

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 11:46

Your aunt is a terrible person

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 12:05

what a "c-aunt"

Comments

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 11:45

Well that's terribly immature and inappropriate of your auntie, I'm sorry OP.

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 13:54

I think that goes beyond immaturity...

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 14:05

That is immature. But I really want to know what she bribed OP with

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 16:04

Psychotic*

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 16:57

Try illegal. That's animal abuse, and she could go to jail.

Seabass_Chan 33

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 17:57

It seems to border on sociopathy, actually.

Hunter_the_Ninja 22

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 22:20

Psychopathic, not sociopathic.

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Thursday 8 October 2015 8:17

She hired a hitman

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 11:46

Your aunt is a terrible person

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Friday 9 October 2015 9:37

Really starting to wonder what OP's aunt bribed them with to do such a thing...

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Saturday 10 October 2015 5:22

A 4 year old impressionable kid told by an important adult figure to hold a bunny underwater, I doubt it required much.

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 11:48

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

ForwardUn2Dawn 18

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 17:53

No, assassin.

Cads1 24

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 11:48

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 12:23

I bet you don't pay taxes :/

soulreaper12296 28

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 15:21

I doubt OP would need therapy for something they only remembered because someone told them about it.

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 17:46

Why the taxpayers?

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 22:47

because tax payers pay for everything else, so why not? ?

Lalala579121 27

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Thursday 8 October 2015 0:58

I'm fairly certain all therapist "offices", or whatever they're called, are privately owned.

kiwifruitred 18

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Friday 9 October 2015 18:26

#35 Although I agree with you that OP probably isn't gonna need therapy for it, I just want to remind you that a lot of disorders can be caused by early childhood trauma, which is often hidden in suppressed memories. As in, things that happened to you when you were a kid that you didn't remember because your brain suppressed the memories as they were too stressful to handle for you.

JapanMetalFan170 16

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 11:49

Wow, that's just....awful. Terribly sorry, OP.

moodyreallyrocks 27

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 11:50

Sorry OP!!

superapple 23

Wednesday 7 October 2015 12:03

Your aunt seems to be a psycho!

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 12:05

what a "c-aunt"

HarryWholock87 17

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 13:51

Get out

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 12:06

Wow your Aunt must get invited to a lot of family reunions. Sorry for your loss.

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 12:09

Ladies and gentlemen meet the youngest hit man ( boy ) for hire. Only a juice box and a snack pack and he will kill your pet for you.

minissaussette 25

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Wednesday 7 October 2015 12:28

Even worse, he'll kill his own pet, he'll kill yours for a chocolate bar.

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 50

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 3

Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 55