The Top · The top of the year

Fernanda · 2 May 2026, 09:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Workplace hook ups are never a good idea

Today, I learned I have to kiss my career goodbye, all because I decided to give a colleague road head while he was driving to a company function. I was fired and arrested for indecent exposure. Now it’s all on my record and my Master’s in Early Childhood Education can basically be used for toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 829

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Kylaisnefarious · 10 October 2026, 20:00 ·Brewer, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Top tip

Today, my boyfriend made me cut a hole into the crotch of my pants so that he could discreetly fuck me in the room next to his mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 You deserved it 251

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Sex isn't great anyway · 2 January 2026, 15:00 🌶️ Spicy

Femboys are where it's at

Today, I found out that my husband hasn't wanted sex because he's been fucking the feminine gay guy he works with. I could divorce him, but I like not getting constantly bothered for sex, and I don't want to deal with the stress of divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210 You deserved it 358

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Anonymous · 15 May 2026, 20:00 ·Centreville, United States

Let me in!

Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174 You deserved it 437

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Anonymous · 9 September 2026, 20:00 ·United States

Fertile

Today, I started my senior year of high school and I just learned I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how to tell my parents, considering I had a baby freshman, sophomore, and junior year as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 You deserved it 1 217

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don't rub it in bitch · 13 May 2026, 22:00 ·Montreal, Canada

Knock out

Today, I saw a friend from college, who I'd cut ties with after her much older boyfriend convinced her to drop out of college and marry him. She looks amazing and has two beautiful kids, while I'm a struggling obese single mom. She said, "The hoe phase really worked out for you, I see." FML

I agree, your life sucks 177 You deserved it 490

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Just kids being kids · 2 December 2025, 12:00

Single dad struggles

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114 You deserved it 703

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Bitchy girl who doesn't put out · 7 April 2026, 09:00 ·Naaldwijk, The Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Needs

Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 126 You deserved it 939

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Jim · 9 April 2026, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Happy birthday, huh?

Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556 You deserved it 146

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Apostate · 21 October 2026, 12:00 ·Houston, United States

No biggie

Today, I told my religious father that I'm no longer a Christian and that I wouldn't be going to church. He nodded and said that he knew at some point I would question his religion, that he loves me, and that I will always be his family. Am I wrong for wishing he'd gotten mad like those other religious parents? FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 You deserved it 651

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Sypha · 28 November 2025, 09:00

Where's Daddy?

Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 587

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abandoned af · 3 January 2026, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Bye bye loser

Today, my husband announced he was leaving me for a girl he met at work because she “has a hotter body” and “looks better in bed during sex.” I gave birth to his kid earlier this year. I said I was gonna bleed him dry on child support and alimony, and he said, “So? I can afford it. I make 6 figures a year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 456 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 17 October 2026, 09:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Protip for assholes

Today, after I hooked up with this cute guy, the fire alarm went off. I dashed outside, still mostly naked, only to find the alarm was coming from his phone as he slammed the door behind me. There was no fire, he just wanted me gone after the sex was over so he faked the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254 You deserved it 91

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Anonymous · 6 October 2026, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

What are the odds?

Today, my husband is not talking to me because he was happy with the two children we had, but I had major baby fever and spent a year talking him into having just one more baby, and the ultrasound just showed I’m having triplets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 641

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Come to think of it.... it does! · 9 March 2026, 12:00

He hath returned

Today, my mom gave me the litany of a lifetime for raising a devil child. Why so? She and my daughter who is 7 years-old attended mass, and after the priest told the parable of The Prodigal Son, she raised her hand. The priest approached, asked and put the mic on her, and she said, "Sorry Father, but that story sucks! Its all about favoritism!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 105

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Anonymous · 10 November 2025, 22:00

Weird and gross

Today, as we talked after we woke up at a sleepover at my house (16th birthday gift), my best friend sat up, grabbed her belly, and started grunting. I asked what's wrong and she said, "I have to poop" and she did, right there in her underwear. The turd she pushed out was so big, her panties overflowed. We shared a bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548 You deserved it 83

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Not Marge · 22 November 2025, 09:00

What did you expect?

Today, my husband is hurt and upset that our daughter legally changed her name the day she turned 18. I had to ask him, as nicely as I could, what the hell he expected when he named her Lisa and her last name is Simpson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 169

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Anonymous · 16 January 2026, 00:00

Touché

Today, I told my almost 18 year-old that she couldn’t go to a school event because I needed her to watch her younger siblings so I could go out with my sisters. She scoffed, “You have four baby daddies and not one can babysit?” and then went to the event anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 You deserved it 1 692

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Anonymous · 3 April 2026, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Pure evil

Today, my daughter admitted that she was the one who left all the used condoms in the back of my ex-husband's car, which led to us getting a horrible divorce because I thought he cheated and didn't believe him. I never suspected her for a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249 You deserved it 546

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What is wrong with you · 6 April 2026, 03:00 ·United States

He got the hell out of there, became a new guy

Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 You deserved it 738

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Anonymous · 11 June 2026, 22:00 ·St Louis, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Turn off

Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485 You deserved it 222

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Puffy Baked · 23 August 2026, 22:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Tactician

Today, I had to listen and take in another one of my mom's litanies. She can't understand why my brother violently reacts to her every time she tells him to "let go and move on" and get over his wife's death. She also can't understand why that's not a good way to start a conversation with him to ask him if she could borrow some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382 You deserved it 64

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Anonymous · 13 November 2025, 09:00 🌶️ Spicy

Babe

Today, after I had third date sex with a guy I really like, he ended up sleeping over. This morning we woke up, showered together, had breakfast, and he admitted to me he couldn’t remember my name because he currently has four women on the go and forgot which one I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397 You deserved it 159

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Martina · 10 February 2026, 03:00

Beliefs

Today, I’m pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby. He’s been saying he’s gonna leave his wife for the past 10 months, but there’s constant hemming and hawing. He wants me to get rid of the baby because, “I’ve already raised my own child for 19 years, I don’t got time for this.” I’m Catholic and don’t believe in abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 You deserved it 1 369

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Doomed to be fat · 14 March 2026, 09:00

Quite rightly so

Today, after my ex helped me drop over a hundred pounds, I broke up with him because I looked and felt so much better, and knew I could do better. Turns out he was the only thing keeping me slim, as I've put back on over twenty pounds. I asked him to take me back and he told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 You deserved it 1 525

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Anonymous · 16 July 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Don't make me choose

Today, I finally cracked and told my boyfriend that if he didn't sign full custody of his evil, manipulative 3 year-old daughter to her mother, then I would leave. He picked me up and literally threw me outside his apartment, slamming the door in my face when I tried to run back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 You deserved it 1 396

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Anonymous · 27 November 2025, 03:00

Prepare for trouble

Today, I was walking in the street, and ahead of me was a girl with a flowing dress. It was windy and the dress lifted up, showing for a split second Pokemon underwear. Before I could stop myself, I said: "Pikachu, I see you." She turned around and slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167 You deserved it 687

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It was clean at least · 17 December 2025, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Pushed it too far

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348 You deserved it 157

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Chipotle gurl · 27 January 2026, 15:00 🌶️ Spicy

Puritanical

Today, my parents found out I was having sex because I was digging for something in my purse and I inadvertently pulled out some condoms. I was kicked out of their house, because if I’m “old enough to lay down with another man” I’m old enough to get my own place. I work at Chipotle part time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374 You deserved it 198

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Yes, I still like him. · 25 March 2026, 22:00

Red flag

Today, I just discovered that the guy I really like, whom I greet with a wave and a sweet "Hi!" to everyday, wasn't really greeting me back with a "Hi!" and a wave. It was a "Heil Hitler!" with a Nazi salute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349 You deserved it 146

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