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Hey OP here. 1. I have a visible belly. I definitely look pregnant. 2. This wasn't a simple push pass me to get on first. This was a full shove into the side of the train tummy first. I don't care how tired you are, it's never okay to push someone that hard to get a seat first. 3. I'm fine, baby's fine.

By so much pain... - 09/12/2017 15:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, I tried to fight my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because she told me he used to beat her. Turns out, she was lying to “impress” me, and her ex has a black belt in taekwondo. I’m in excruciating pain right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 097

You deserved it 4 827

The nickname that sticks

By boobswerehere - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Reno

Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 995

You deserved it 1 585

By benjamins - 10/01/2018 15:00 - United States

Today, I got kicked in the balls twice in two hours. The first was my (now ex) girlfriend when I confronted her about cheating on me, and the second was her overprotective friend who thought that I was the cheater. One is a cheerleader, and the other is a soccer player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 150

You deserved it 367

benjamins39 tells us more.

benjamins39 12

Friday 26 January 2018 23:41

OP here....yes, they are both female, and that’s kinda there way of doing things when pissed at a guy, fire away. Not the first time my ex has kicked me, hoping it was the last though. She got off the direct hit, the soccer player was kinda a graze, but they were so sore it felt like a direct hit. After walking funny for a day or so, all good now

By Backstabber<3 - 06/03/2018 19:00

Today, as I was about to finally tell my boyfriend of nearly a year that I loved him, he revealed that he cheated on me, that his side chick is pregnant, and that he has the clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 293

You deserved it 496

By The Draught of Living Death - 17/07/2018 15:00

Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 660

You deserved it 285

By lunarclaws - 11/09/2018 06:00 - Netherlands - Brielle

Today, I discovered my boyfriend enjoys anime, just like me. I discovered this when he said he wanted me to imitate and dress up as an underage character from his favourite anime next time we have sex. When I refused, he got upset and said he thought I would understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 122

You deserved it 535

By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 16:35 - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 939

You deserved it 7 960

By sendhelp - 30/04/2017 16:00

Today, my mom asked me to take my dad's mail to him. The "mail" was divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 527

You deserved it 341

By really? - 16/05/2017 18:00 - United States - Concord

Today, my son told me that some kids had been picking on him at school. When I asked him to elaborate, he said that kids sometimes didn't say "Hi" back when he greeted them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 885

You deserved it 599

Congratulations, you played yourself

By danielle - 23/04/2009 07:16 - United States

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 239

You deserved it 260 217

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 636

You deserved it 2 569

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 074

You deserved it 849

Hangry

By Oops - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Bakewell

Today, I had a hotdog. I thought the skin was a bit tough but ate it anyway. After reading the packaging later I found out that each hotdog has an individual plastic wrapper. I ate plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 754

You deserved it 4 219

All figured out

By Toroka - 29/07/2016 18:59

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 027

You deserved it 1 030

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 206

You deserved it 3 571

By punmessiah - 04/07/2016 06:09 - United States - North Richland Hills

Today, I went to my friend's little brother's birthday party. A few of the younger kids were hitting me with a pool noodle, and I didn't really care until a 9-year-old loudly exclaimed, "Hit her in the pussy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 674

You deserved it 1 045

punmessiah tells us more.

punmessiah 28

Monday 4 July 2016 19:34

It was obvious this kid was spoiled and hardly, if ever, got punished. After a few other slurs from him, we tried to find his parents but just told my friend's mom since we couldn't find his. My friend's little sister(she's around 6) was also crying to her saying the same kid called her a bitch. The mom was saying she didn't know who's kid it was(the overall lack of supervision over there was astonishing) and she didn't want to punish him herself, else his parents popped up and made a scene.

By Dog Person Now - 31/05/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 792

You deserved it 508