Today, after years of listening to my coworker complaining about everything in her life, including her job, I finally stood up to her and bitched at her for complaining and not doing anything about it. She went to my boss, and now it's in my job description to listen to her when she complains. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her Bluetooth headset. FML
Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML
Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Get skin toned ear plugs, and simply nod your head and make noncommittal noises whenever she starts ranting. It's what I do with my mom, and it works like a charm.
RichardPencil 32
They're doing great things with earplugs these days. And nodding your head like a bobble head keeps your neck nice and loose.
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Comments (86)
breakingbad_fml 27
Sounds like marriage
whatoftoday 6
Looks like a few people on here think marriage doesn't involve listening to your spouse complaining over and over.
melonmedleys 11
You're not ready to get married if you think this is how marriage is.
bandaidstations 28
Marriages might be like this in some cases...but it wouldn't be a very healthy one.
wakka9876 17
its a shame the fml comment section has gone to pot, everyone responds like every comment posted is deadly serious... this is the internet you know guys upvote from me #1 for having a sense of humour
Mudge 11
sense of humor = nonexistent
HieronymusBoche 13
but hey, at least you got an FML published...
RichardPencil 32
They're doing great things with earplugs these days. And nodding your head like a bobble head keeps your neck nice and loose.
Welshite 40
Get skin toned ear plugs, and simply nod your head and make noncommittal noises whenever she starts ranting. It's what I do with my mom, and it works like a charm.
disturbedgd 26
I'll look into it xD
TheSecretShadow 13
Only problem is if they ask you a question or something you shouldn't nod to
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I feel like your boss probably can't legally make you do that
RichardPencil 32
Get used to the idea that your boss may "legally" be limited in what they can make you do, but "in reality" they can make you do almost anything. If you sue your boss, it'll be hard to get someone else to hire you, and your lawyer's fees will most likely eat up your winnings, if there are any. Justice in the workplace is virtually non-existence.
acmariner99 25
I sympathize. My mother is like this and when I put my foot down, my family bitched at me for taking a stand and now I'm kinda a pariah.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
If you decide to ever reengage call them up so they can listen too. Share the pain.
TheHcwalker 20
A boss is different, respect your parents no matter what they say.
Jared900DUmpling 30
Yes, respect them for being racist, homophobic, hateful, bigoted, degrading, etc.... That sounds like a recipe for success. Just like in any other relationships, parents earn their respect by being respectful themselves.
HylianBadger 21
#39 If you would have heard or seen the things my mother has said and done to my brother and I, you would realize that not every parent is worthy of even being a parent.
Magnoxidans 19
Life's a bitch
disturbedgd 26
and then you work with one.
harleyivy 7
I would continuously ask her what's she gonna do to fix it, every time she complained. or tell the boss that she's interrupting your work.
disturbedgd 26
Oh I did I couldn't fit the entire story it was part of my defense when I was being interrogated.
domolovesyoshi 33
Just keep asking her what she's going to do to fix the problem, your boss said you had to listen to her complain but didn't say anything about talking to her about it.
wisconsinfml 3
So since it is in your job description run with it. 4 times a day go to her with a notepad and ask for her complaints. Write them down in detail and ask for complete details. Stop her and ask for clarification on a detail. If she asks why your writing it down tell her the truth, she when to your boss and now it is in your job description and you are being very through. Don't do it snippy or in disgust. Do it like you own that task.. If she asks who you show it to tell her no one unless your boss/job description says so. but being the detailed employee you are and since she asked the boss to make you listen you take your job seriously. It is now her choice. SHUT UP or you will take notes.. :)
atradr 8
This is actually genius. Unless OP's coworker is totally psycho this will make her stop.
chosha_fml 27
I'd also record the time you spend and use that to ask the boss what other work in your job description you should put aside to listen to her? "I did get half of the report done, but then Susan talked about how her children are making life choices she doesn't like for 45min. I can either finish the report or type up the analysis of the stakeholder meeting (assuming Susan doesn't require more listening today) but not both. Which do you prefer I finish?
KarlaMe 21
I loved reading this comment. Genius!!!
hkhan24 23
This is so clever, and the best part is the boss can't reprimand you for doing this as you are fulfilling your job description. I will even buy you the notepad!
LyricaSilvan 30
I had a similar problem with a lady I used to work with. I'd be having a normal conversation with her, and suddenly she would turn it into a chance to talk about how terrible her childhood was and how much her mom hated her and all this other stuff. The slightest of innocent things would start her on it, like me saying the word "mom." It was ridiculous.
Mangascribbler 19
I've got a similar issue, but this woman is my superior in the company. Usually I just sit there and hold a poker face until she's finished- it doesn't score me any points, but it at least stops me from saying what I'm thinking.
disturbedgd 26
My sympathies to both of you, it's what I'm doing now. You can't help such a person and you can't say what you really want to either.
ashyville 9
"Mom.... I remember when I used to have one of those...."
LyricaSilvan 30
Nah, 61. It was more like I'd be talking about a funny story involving my mom, and this coworker would go, "well, my mom tried to kill me with a kitchen knife once, so.." And then she would give me this look like I was supposed to be sad for her, even after hearing the same story a hundred times before. I did feel bad for her initially, but when you get told these things almost every day, the effect wears off pretty fast.