Bye bye love

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 14:01

Today, according to my emotionally distant boyfriend, stopping by a whorehouse on his way home several nights a week for a quick blowjob isn’t cheating, because it involves cash and no intimacy afterwards. Dumped his ass real quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 187

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

How the turntables…

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 18:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend with a prostitute. The prostitute actually got mad at me for yelling at him, because the few times he’s hired her, all he asked for was talking and cuddling, never sex. Her advice was I need to step up my emotional intimacy, because he’s clearly not getting it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 3 120

Logic

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 04:01

Today, according to my boyfriend, it’s not cheating if he doesn’t love the other woman, so if it’s just sex, it’s not cheating and I shouldn’t be upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 146

How could you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2013 23:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 529

You deserved it 17 218

Over and out

By hatinthelife - 18/02/2012 06:34 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 576

You deserved it 4 448

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Hove

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that many years before we met, I once slept with a guy in my college for $500 just so I could avoid becoming homeless before my next student loan kicked in. He dumped me because he “doesn’t date whores”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 334

By why - 16/03/2015 01:10 - United States - Tucson

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 025

You deserved it 3 353

Who's at fault?

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:35 - United States - Keuka Park

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 726

You deserved it 2 574

Hypocrisy

By gamer tag ID not recognised - 06/10/2018 03:00

Today, my husband is adamant he's not a cheater, because, "it only counts as cheating if you have sex with other women for free." Apparently 20-year-old male prostitutes don't count because they're not women and they cost money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 14/10/2018 03:00

Today, I actually said the words "yes, a blowjob from a guy is still cheating" to my husband. I never thought that would be a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 442

You deserved it 293

By openended - 21/11/2014 16:56 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I realized that having an open relationship isn't all that great, when my boyfriend hooked up with his ex and dumped me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 19 389

Roxy Rousseau 11

Sunday 4 October 2020 23:21

STD TESTS!!!!

Ed Munson 14

Sunday 4 October 2020 23:25

Dumping him was the ONLY option!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 4 October 2020 15:59

Isn't that your "job" anyways? Why does he need to outsource that work? Sounds like a waste of money -- you're better off without him.

ahabsfan 14

Sunday 4 October 2020 20:22

Was his name Bill Clinton?

Christina Winden 22

Sunday 4 October 2020 22:17

Good for you. You don’t need that trash in your life.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 5 October 2020 6:28

Y'know, if she doesn't like giving ********, maybe he had a reasonable solution to the issue.

Roxy Rousseau 11

Sunday 4 October 2020 23:21

STD TESTS!!!!

Ed Munson 14

Sunday 4 October 2020 23:25

Dumping him was the ONLY option!

demix_fml 32

Monday 5 October 2020 0:58

Well done for dropping him, I hope you get over him soon and find yourself someone worth it x

Tom O'Halloran 9

Monday 5 October 2020 5:15

and THIS is why whorehouses are a good thing...

voodoo66 5

Tuesday 6 October 2020 3:50

seems to me, he was saving you from a tedious chore, a keeper!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Tuesday 13 October 2020 6:01

Kudos to you for dumping his pathetic ass. News flash: That's still considered cheating.

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The Top

Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 674

You deserved it 61 783

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 451

The Top

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 095

You deserved it 3 218

Today, I had just got a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I thought it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if you're going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 941

You deserved it 104 173

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 346

You deserved it 3 649

Today, I was in a shop with my 9 month-old son. He was babbling gibberish as babies do, and repeatedly said what sounded like the N-word. We're white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 141

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 3 074

Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 83

Same thing different taste

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