Today, according to my emotionally distant boyfriend, stopping by a whorehouse on his way home several nights a week for a quick blowjob isn’t cheating, because it involves cash and no intimacy afterwards. Dumped his ass real quick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my boyfriend with a prostitute. The prostitute actually got mad at me for yelling at him, because the few times he’s hired her, all he asked for was talking and cuddling, never sex. Her advice was I need to step up my emotional intimacy, because he’s clearly not getting it from me. FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that many years before we met, I once slept with a guy in my college for $500 just so I could avoid becoming homeless before my next student loan kicked in. He dumped me because he “doesn’t date whores”. FML
Today, according to my boyfriend, it’s not cheating if he doesn’t love the other woman, so if it’s just sex, it’s not cheating and I shouldn’t be upset. FML
Today, my husband is adamant he's not a cheater, because, "it only counts as cheating if you have sex with other women for free." Apparently 20-year-old male prostitutes don't count because they're not women and they cost money. FML
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. His excuse was that I never had time for his needs anymore. He’s unemployed but I guess me working and studying to get my degree so we could move out of his parents’ house was too much. Now I have no place to go. FML
Today, my new husband of two weeks attempted to solicit sex from a hooker. He tried to excuse himself by saying, "I would never cheat on you! I was just looking." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
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Top comments
Roxy Rousseau 11
STD TESTS!!!!
Ed Munson 14
Dumping him was the ONLY option!
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
Isn't that your "job" anyways? Why does he need to outsource that work? Sounds like a waste of money -- you're better off without him.
ahabsfan 17
Was his name Bill Clinton?
Christina Winden 22
Good for you. You don’t need that trash in your life.
RichardPencil 32
Y'know, if she doesn't like giving ********, maybe he had a reasonable solution to the issue.
Roxy Rousseau 11
STD TESTS!!!!
Ed Munson 14
Dumping him was the ONLY option!
demix_fml 32
Well done for dropping him, I hope you get over him soon and find yourself someone worth it x
Tom O'Halloran 9
and THIS is why whorehouses are a good thing...
voodoo66 5
seems to me, he was saving you from a tedious chore, a keeper!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Kudos to you for dumping his pathetic ass. News flash: That's still considered cheating.