By Lexyy17 - 28/05/2016 02:43 - Canada - Lynn Lake
Lexyy17 tells us more.
Just putting this out there, but I never met the girl. I live in another province.. the drive takes over 30 hours one way. My friend and I only ever chatted online due to the distance and I've been happily married for the last 3 years, been with my husband for 6 so really she had nothing to worry about.
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Actually those statistics are deliberately skewed to give people the wrong idea about the divorce rate. For instance. 1st time marriages, with no kids from previous relationships, have a 20%-25% divorce rate. 2nd marriages have a 50% divorce rate, and 3rd a 75% divorce rate.
#97 The problem with that method is it does not give an accurate statistic for how many people that got married in any one year have since been divorced. For a factually accurate statistic a different method needs to be used. In year X, Y people got married, and of the people that got married in year X, Z have gotten divorced. Z/Y= the actual divorce rate for that year. If people REALLY wanted to be accurate with the statistics (which of course they don’t) they’d subcategorize by if it’s a 1st, 2nd, 3rd marriage etc. Instead “they” just give a basic method with a one size fits all inaccurate rate so people get the wrong idea.
That sucks! But I advise patiently waiting it out - If his fiancé is that insecure there is probably a 50:50 chance that the engagement won't last a year. If it falls apart, and that wasn't attributable to you then you will have your friend back. And you will have a clean conscience about the whole thing.
If she doesn't trust him with a friend then she won't trust him in life. There again she could be saving herself from having to writing an fml along the lines of, my husband much rather play video games with his friend (Who is a really hot girl) then have sex with me.
I might get a lot of hate for this, but I kinda agree with his fiancée. It's not about just insecurity, sometimes you just don't like something, doesn't mean you're wrong or selfish. One of my very very good friends had stopped talking to me because his girlfriend asked him to, I was really mad at him, but I understood her point when I was in a situation like that. I'm sorry this happened to you, Op, but I'm also sure they had their reasons. It might not make as much sense to you, but it does to them. Hope you're fine.
Oh, but it does mean you're selfish and wrong for asking someone to stop communication with another person because you don't like it and it's even worse when you're requesting this from them simply because the best friend is of the opposite sex. Unless they gave you a reason not to trust them, it all screams insecurity.
I'm not saying being insecure is not it, it's a part, but there are other reasons too. For example, my ex had a lot of girl best friends, and I didn't mind, but I had told him that they all had feelings for him and I wanted him to keep a distance from them, he assured me they didn't have any feelings towards him. But as soon as we broke up, all those girls confessed their feelings towards him, and he later told me about it and that I was right. Obviously they didn't want to break us up or anything like that, but sometimes you just don't like your significant other to be close to them. You just don't. And that's okay.
I agree with you. I'm sure no boyfriend would be okay with you hanging out alone with your "guy friend" and vise versa. who can actually say they're completely okay with that? Hell let's throw in a sleep over too since that's what most friends do from time to time. not okay.
I'm married, and not only am I 'completely ok' with my husband hanging out alone with girl friends, I encourage him to get close to my friends as he moved across the world to be with me, leaving all his family, friends, work, life behind forever (and if that's not proof that I am number one in his life, I don't know what is). He has no friends here, so if he is able to gain some confidantes, I'd be overjoyed no matter what genitals those friends have. It's called trust.