Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our... - FML

By Tattooed_Blonde - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

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Tattooed_Blonde tells us more :

Okay guys settle down. We were caught up in the moment and we figure at first they were only peeking over the fence, and then started jumping. Oh gosh, don't be such prudes :D

Commando

Sorry…

Harsh

By jp_boards

Today, I went to the emergency room for a broken collarbone. This wouldn’t be so bad if my parents hadn’t paid $20,000 for me to go to a snowboarding academy all winter. Today was day one. FML

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By scumbag - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

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By hot_shot - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

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By oh for f*cks sake - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

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By wasted_gas - United States - Cumming

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

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By Nicoleanne

Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML

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By Amey - United States

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

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By inpain - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

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By number2 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

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By Anonymous

He tried.

Today, I rejected a girl I work with because I have a girlfriend. That girl then posted on Facebook that she'd friendzoned me for being creepy. My girlfriend saw the post, believed it, and dumped me. FML

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By no booze, no boyfriend - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

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By anonymous

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

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By poolfail

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

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By Ouch

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/3/2021 05:01

These boots are made for walking

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - El Paso

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

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By sadgirl

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend's mom and the subject of marriage came up. She told me she hopes I'll find my prince charming very soon and leave her son alone. FML

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By KaLa - Canada

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

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By Dumped - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend got drunk and cheated on me. After I tried to talk to her about it, she dumped me. Not because she didn't like me anymore or that she liked the other guy, but because she felt "too guilty" and "wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes anymore." FML

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By sarajj - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

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By atterz123 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

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By SkinsCastSelection - France

Inspired

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Elko

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

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By L0L59

Today, I got my braces checked by another orthodontist since I've had them for years and my teeth never got the way they should be. After 8 years and 27 x-ray exams, my orthodontist didn't do much except loosen the root of the tooth to the point where I can move it. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

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By Frauded - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

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By FarmerGirl - Canada - Brossard

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, at college, the weird guy who stares at me every day came over, said, "I've made you a mixtape," then handed me an old, empty Queen's Greatest Hits CD case and scuttled off. FML

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By BSwan - Australia

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

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By daddyowl - Canada - Montreal

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

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By ExtendedVacation - United States

Today, I submitted a vacation request to my manager and it was approved. I came back from lunch and was informed that I have been let go. FML

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By fuckedbyretail - United States - Charlotte

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 07:58

Simps gonna simp

Today, I just found out that I was missing almost $500 from my debit card. Turns out my brother used my card to simp on a streamer. When I confronted him, he said, "But you would have simped on her either way." FML

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By teach - Canada

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

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By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:02 - United States

Diaspora

Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML

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By Pissedoff777 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

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By soupduped - United States

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

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By epicfailureismyl

Barf

Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML

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By exasperated - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

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Top comments

By nickharbut | 6

#786476 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:11

haha wouldn't you hear the trampoline noise? lol

By YoungE | 0

#786470 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:09

how the hell do you miss three girls ?

COMMENTS

By YoungE | 0

#786470 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:09

how the hell do you miss three girls ?

Reply

Gibby_fml | 0

#824834 - Thursday 4 February 2010 17:29

so much for the 'secluded' back yard. ydi.

Reply

ronton | 4

#1140914 - Monday 26 July 2010 4:27

fake!

Reply

shunshunrikka89 | 0

#4327786 - Thursday 19 April 2012 22:29

You're a virgin, aren't you?

Reply

candyland13 | 6

#5293040 - Saturday 29 December 2012 18:13

Don't little girls usually make a lot of noise?

By makethingsepic | 0

#786475 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:11

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

cstetchman | 0

#983528 - Thursday 22 April 2010 6:19

What's wrong with the backyard? especially if they thought it was secluded? it their property. they can fuck where they want on it !

Reply

WHITE_SMURF | 0

#2402244 - Monday 25 April 2011 12:36

nice

Reply

NoWayLady | 13

#3833569 - Thursday 5 January 2012 12:47

So true. Although I would have double checked to make sure no one was looking.

By nickharbut | 6

#786476 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:11

haha wouldn't you hear the trampoline noise? lol

Reply

RevengeOnYou | 0

#805768 - Friday 29 January 2010 0:35

I dunno OP's girlfriend probably moaned so load he didnt even care about the sounds in the environment lol!

Reply

lilmisslovely13 | 15

#2370698 - Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:47

umm op's a girl, and it even says "boyfriend".

Reply

TheOptimist | 0

#2592522 - Tuesday 31 May 2011 9:03

Meh, I've been on springless trampolines before, one was really quiet, and really bouncy, could see a few backyards over without even trying.

Reply

senpa_kush | 11

#6119695 - Sunday 16 November 2014 1:57

Maybe they were bouncing louder in sex

By amberita28 | 0

#786482 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:15

yeah, how could you not hear them jumping and see little heads pop up every other second? you better hope they don't tell their mommy cuz you just might get a beat down nasty girl.

Reply

chronicBuD420 | 0

#3197872 - Monday 29 August 2011 8:26

hey, your fine(:

By yourlifesfucked | 0

#786487 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:18

ahahaha that made my day. i cant even bring myself to vote ydi although you totally do

By jillz | 0

#786489 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:18

Those poor girls. Well, at least now they know to avoid it. lol

By jearhby | 0

#786494 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:20

wow. nice

By lukascepanovic | 0

#786511 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:25

LOL YDI bimbo -.-"

By j3a3k3e | 0

#786521 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:34

obviously the backyard wasn't secluded enough. I suggest a bedroom next time

By Shystai | 0

#786528 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:40

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway