Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our... - FML

By Tattooed_Blonde - 20/1/2010 12:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

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Tattooed_Blonde Say more :

Okay guys settle down. We were caught up in the moment and we figure at first they were only peeking over the fence, and then started jumping. Oh gosh, don't be such prudes :D

Work name

DINOSAURS!!

Goodbye Bill

By taperjeangirl - 21/2/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

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By Carebeareatu - 13/3/2020 15:00

Keeping up appearances

Today, my friends gave me a complete makeover, which included clothes from their wardrobe, to prepare me for an upcoming job interview. I was then declined the position, because apparently, I "looked too wealthy" to need the job. FML

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By hayah - 21/2/2010 06:08 - France

Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML

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By unwilling redneck - 24/5/2013 22:48 - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

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By Megan Snair - 1/9/2019 04:01

Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML

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By heather - 20/6/2011 22:25 - Canada

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

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By anonymous - 29/7/2012 13:34 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/8/2019 22:00

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

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By innocent cat lady - 7/7/2015 18:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend freaked out at me because he found a couple of orange hairs in my bed and he knows my ex is a redhead. He also knows I have two orange cats. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/3/2013 04:43 - United States

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

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By Storm - 23/9/2011 03:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

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By Sam - 8/12/2017 01:30

Party for One!

Today, at the supermarket, I bought a cake and had my friend's name put on it. It wasn't anyone's birthday, I just wanted to feel less ashamed about buying a whole cake for myself. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/4/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/1/2011 15:15 - Australia

Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML

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By FistFighter - 9/4/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

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By zAstonish - 25/9/2015 15:03 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

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By garfwebba - 3/1/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 18:43 - United States

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

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By Debbie3247 - 7/7/2017 08:30 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I taught a high school class on public speaking. When I explained how important it was for a presentation to be polished and professional, one kid asked, "Is it professional for your skirt to be tucked into your underwear? I didn't know they made My Little Pony panties for adults." FML

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By Anonymous - 10/2/2017 08:00 - United States - Washington

Today, while using the restroom at my favorite cafe, I fell asleep for 30 minutes. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons viciously breaking down the only barrier between between you and your shame. FML

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By brown and sticky - 16/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Baltimore

Food poisoning

Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML

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By nr1234 - 24/5/2011 04:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML

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By utensils123 - 9/2/2010 06:40 - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

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By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

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By Slayer - 9/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

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By bearprint - 6/7/2016 18:45

Today, I lost my job to the individual I just finished training. Within 2 hours after being escorted out, my old boss called and yelled at me for doing a lousy job. He was angry that the training was deficient and because the new person is as bad as I was. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/1/2014 15:43 - United States - South Salem

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

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By ginya - 7/6/2016 01:58 - United States - Bedford

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

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By DerrickUhl - 19/6/2012 04:28 - United States - Napa

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

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By beka - 7/1/2019 12:00

Today, after our housing offer was accepted, I told my parents. The only response was, “That’s a much nicer house than I had when I got married, I hope you can afford furniture.” Thanks mom. FML

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By facepalm - 27/2/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

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By period_probs - 16/12/2014 01:23 - United States - King George

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

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By Good Parenting? - 26/6/2015 16:38 - United States - Columbia

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

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By Eringobrag88 - 27/6/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

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By choke on a dick, sir - 1/11/2013 22:47 - United States - Portland

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

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By mac - 27/1/2014 14:40 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

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By team hit bella with a car - 20/10/2014 02:20 - United States - Odenton

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/2/2015 01:04 - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/10/2013 06:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

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By anonymous - 25/11/2015 02:59 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I learned that I cannot cook or clean in my kitchen because it's too noisy for my neighbour. Every time I do, she bangs on the wall. FML

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Top comments

By nickharbut | 6

#786476 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:11

haha wouldn't you hear the trampoline noise? lol

By YoungE | 0

#786470 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:09

how the hell do you miss three girls ?

Comments

By YoungE | 0

#786470 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:09

how the hell do you miss three girls ?

Reply

Gibby_fml | 0

#824834 - Thursday 4 February 2010 17:29

so much for the 'secluded' back yard. ydi.

Reply

ronton | 4

#1140914 - Monday 26 July 2010 4:27

fake!

Reply

shunshunrikka89 | 0

#4327786 - Thursday 19 April 2012 22:29

You're a virgin, aren't you?

Reply

candyland13 | 6

#5293040 - Saturday 29 December 2012 18:13

Don't little girls usually make a lot of noise?

By makethingsepic | 0

#786475 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:11

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

cstetchman | 0

#983528 - Thursday 22 April 2010 6:19

What's wrong with the backyard? especially if they thought it was secluded? it their property. they can fuck where they want on it !

Reply

WHITE_SMURF | 0

#2402244 - Monday 25 April 2011 12:36

nice

Reply

NoWayLady | 13

#3833569 - Thursday 5 January 2012 12:47

So true. Although I would have double checked to make sure no one was looking.

By nickharbut | 6

#786476 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:11

haha wouldn't you hear the trampoline noise? lol

Reply

RevengeOnYou | 0

#805768 - Friday 29 January 2010 0:35

I dunno OP's girlfriend probably moaned so load he didnt even care about the sounds in the environment lol!

Reply

lilmisslovely13 | 15

#2370698 - Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:47

umm op's a girl, and it even says "boyfriend".

Reply

TheOptimist | 0

#2592522 - Tuesday 31 May 2011 9:03

Meh, I've been on springless trampolines before, one was really quiet, and really bouncy, could see a few backyards over without even trying.

Reply

senpa_kush | 11

#6119695 - Sunday 16 November 2014 1:57

Maybe they were bouncing louder in sex

By amberita28 | 0

#786482 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:15

yeah, how could you not hear them jumping and see little heads pop up every other second? you better hope they don't tell their mommy cuz you just might get a beat down nasty girl.

Reply

chronicBuD420 | 0

#3197872 - Monday 29 August 2011 8:26

hey, your fine(:

By yourlifesfucked | 0

#786487 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:18

ahahaha that made my day. i cant even bring myself to vote ydi although you totally do

By jillz | 0

#786489 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:18

Those poor girls. Well, at least now they know to avoid it. lol

By jearhby | 0

#786494 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:20

wow. nice

By lukascepanovic | 0

#786511 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:25

LOL YDI bimbo -.-"

By j3a3k3e | 0

#786521 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:34

obviously the backyard wasn't secluded enough. I suggest a bedroom next time

By Shystai | 0

#786528 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:40

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment