Top

Top of the day Top of the week Top of the month Top of the year Top all time

By Gremlinswife - 24/07/2012 20:25 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

agreeclassic 26 960

vote type 1 2 671

Gremlinswife app_comment_confession_title

Gremlinswife 13

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:53

I charge them rent but also pay them to babysit. They have a pretty sweet deal. My Husband works out of province i'm essentially a single mother 2 week of each month and my youngest son has special needs. Laundry is very low on my list of things to do in my kids waking hours lol

Awkward

By ellinor - 17/09/2010 20:33 - Sweden

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

agreeclassic 12 525

vote type 1 37 223

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 22:20 - United States - Barnhart

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

agreeclassic 54 660

vote type 1 8 173

By wantontsu - 11/09/2010 18:59

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

agreeclassic 34 732

vote type 1 3 636

By sadface - 11/08/2010 06:50 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

agreeclassic 39 420

vote type 1 3 477

Banger

By fuckyouharddad - 15/04/2014 19:24 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume, over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go." FML

agreeclassic 51 510

vote type 1 6 620

By anonomous - 07/04/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

agreeclassic 16 978

vote type 1 46 397

By ipaid350dollarsfornothing - 15/03/2013 07:09 - Qatar

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

agreeclassic 54 792

vote type 1 7 151

By meowymomma - 25/06/2016 19:21 - United States

Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML

agreeclassic 24 727

vote type 1 1 470

Don't drink and letch

By GonnaGetFired - 31/03/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

agreeclassic 12 643

vote type 1 40 417

Coincidence?

By WhiteLiar - 04/03/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says, "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

agreeclassic 36 347

vote type 1 2 759

By kaailin - 19/02/2015 13:29 - Australia - Magill

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

agreeclassic 29 894

vote type 1 22 796

kaailin app_comment_confession_title

kaailin 18

Friday 20 February 2015 19:48

Hi guys, OP here. To clarify, it wasn't a drive through ATM, I walked back to the car before the money came out. Also to those asking how I managed to do such a careless thing - I had just had a stressful day at work on the closing shift so my mind wasn't with it. I'm lucky I have a loving family that can support me until my next pay day. And I hope I just hope the money ended up in hands that needed it more than myself.

By squirrel - 09/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

agreeclassic 12 908

vote type 1 42 515