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By Anonymous - 19/4/2021 01:00 - United States - Cabot

Toxic workplace

Today, I quit my job because I wasn't given the time or space to pump for my newborn child. I went back to work 4 weeks postpartum, and they suggested I pump in the bathroom, my car or the freezer. FML
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534
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110
7 Comments
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By lindsey822 - 8/4/2021 10:59

Is it though?

Today, my brother and his wife have seriously decided to name their son “Bubba.” I don’t know how to politely explain to them that Bubba is a dog’s name, not a human’s. FML
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689
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209
15 Comments
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By Anonymous - 7/4/2021 23:00

Overreaction Man

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
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1314
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10 Comments
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By Anonymous - 7/4/2021 14:00

Happy Birthday, I guess…

Today, my family decided it'd be a great idea to berate me for not being excited enough for my brother and his wife's baby news. They told us on my birthday, adding that if I wasn't so fat I'd have one too. I have insulin-resistant PCOS. FML
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By Michael - 20/3/2021 05:02 - United States - Lincoln

Food for thought

Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML
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1040
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By gumbymn - 17/3/2021 00:30

Wakey wakey

Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML
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672
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324
4 Comments
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By samantha - 9/3/2021 16:59

Judgmental people are the worst

Today, I was called a horrible excuse for a mother just for buying formula for my baby. I just don’t produce any milk of my own. FML
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1227
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69
14 Comments
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By notyourbaby - 7/3/2021 19:58

Weirdo cousin

Today, I found out my cousin stole my used pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures the last time she came to visit, and tried to fake a pregnancy. This was two years ago when she stayed at my house. I just found out I'm pregnant again, and guess who just asked to come to stay and "visit"? FML
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1109
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5 Comments
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By Anonymous - 6/3/2021 05:03

Is it not your baby as well?

Today, I'm starting to realize my wife's baby loves me more than my wife. FML
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574
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By Anonymous - United States - Inez

Congratu…

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML
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331 Comments
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Nearly  
Today, I realized part of the root of my gender dysphoria is male privilege and me craving any power and to quit being talked over and quit being invisible....
I agree, your life sucks
6
You deserved it
12
0 Comments
Today my boyfriend told me he just changed his bed sheets for the first time this year. It’s April. FML
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14
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1
0 Comments
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  Spicy
  Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that...
I agree, your life sucks
277
You deserved it
9
1 Comments
  Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the...
I agree, your life sucks
417
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96
2 Comments
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