Miscellaneous: Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid...

By WetPhone - United States

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

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Miscellaneous

Headache

You snooze, you lose

Compassionate dad, huh?

By nick - United States - Palm Desert

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

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31406

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By itchyyet - Australia - Hawker

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

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23660

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By tkoester - United States - Fairfield

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

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25879

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By Wheresthebeefz - United States

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

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29845

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By 99520 - United States

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40293

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7427

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By Anonymous - India

Today, a few weeks after moving back to my home country, I found out my diploma isn't recognized here. The only training provider I can find that can upgrade it to something valid wants another 2 years of my life, 500 hours of work experience and $16,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10861

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By scooterbyrd

Today, I saw a photo on Facebook of all my best friends from high school together at a 50th birthday party I wasn't invited to. I knew the birthday guy for longer than any of them and introduced everyone in high school. They wouldn't even know him without me. FML

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9859

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By M - United Kingdom

Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9045

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By TheRunaway21 - United States

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

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28252

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By hottytodday - United States - Oxford

Courtesy visit

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

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2277

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47126

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By Anonymous - 4/8/2020 23:04

Love don't pay the rent

Today, I begged my dad for money, for the first time ever, because even with two jobs I still can’t make rent. When asked why he sent way too little, he replied, "You always said you’d prefer to get love from me rather than money." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1218

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By NotAThief

Swiper No Swiping!

Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4877

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287

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By daisyann - United States

Today, I got pulled over for the first time. When the officer came up to my window, I immediately burst out into tears due to nervousness. He kept asking me for my licence and registration. Hysterical, I wasn't able to comply. He arrested me for not cooperating. FML

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22614

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By FailBear - United States

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

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29508

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12182

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By Nat3_2020 - United States

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

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29039

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By qld - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I got sunburnt to a crisp on the first day of my holidays away. Only 5 more days to go now, spent inside, trying not to burn more. FML

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7169

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3513

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By Anonymous - United States - Denver

Decisions, decisions

Today my boyfriend, whom I haven't seen all summer, blew off our date to attend a local chili eating contest. FML

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1402

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261

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By BrokeAndHungry - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML

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13048

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By lawoman27 - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML

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65817

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By Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

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15641

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By Anonymous - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

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17206

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By alie - United States

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

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36748

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By Hollerz90 - 2/4/2020 23:00

Red Right Hand

Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML

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1995

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179

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By Kitten

Everyone's a Critic

Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML

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2891

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By creepedasfuck - United States - Limington

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

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31058

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By justinj360 - United States

Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML

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35679

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By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady that lives next to me. Funny enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom who lived with me. FML

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13250

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By Ihatepants - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I had a full day of work, a social event, and a doctor's appointment. My son looked at me when I got home and said, "Are your pants on backwards?" Yes, yes they were. All day. FML

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14837

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By Jbheller - United States - Mountain Top

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

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33275

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By embarrassedinretail - Australia

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21788

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By Mary - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

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49812

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4054

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

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52191

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By Stewtato

Today, a bat flew into my house. We locked it in my brother's room, complete with cats, and just barely got it back outside alive. We later found out it was an endangered species, so we also narrowly avoided arrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1323

You deserved it

454

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By Flooded - United States

Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

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26943

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32705

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By CrappyCar - United States

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

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43773

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By FML - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

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59630

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By it's v - United States - Denver

Today, after my flight arrived late, I ran 60 gates to get my connecting flight. I sprinted up to the gate agent, completely out of breath, and he looked at me, shut the door, and said, “The door is shut. You’re too late.” FML

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Top comments

By wbrycem | 0

#308375 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:16

#3 fail. He WAS trying to take care of his phone, dipshit

By vivigun | 3

#976633 - Friday 9 April 2010 2:56

he was trying to avoid water damage by throwing it, therefore he was trying to take care of it.

COMMENTS

By Doorhandle57 | 0

#308288 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:06

hahaha that sucks

laxbro4769 | 6

#4335758 - Saturday 21 April 2012 21:36

Your girlfriend actually pulled you into the pool? Are you a wimp or is she a beast?

By stereoskyline_fml | 0

#308300 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

Nice

By famouslove | 0

#308301 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

vivigun | 3

#976633 - Friday 9 April 2010 2:56

he was trying to avoid water damage by throwing it, therefore he was trying to take care of it.

NuTrees | 9

#2798140 - Friday 1 July 2011 15:32

right tell that bitch!

ItzKymra | 0

#2799147 - Friday 1 July 2011 17:57

u fail majorly. he was trying to keep it from ruining. dipshit.

skullcandifiedDJ | 5

#4073555 - Wednesday 22 February 2012 20:09

"Throwing" your phone is not taking care of it. He should've told her to wait and PLACED his damn phone on the chair. Stupid mistake, but YDI

Sinamoi | 18

#5500911 - Tuesday 21 May 2013 14:47

If he is being pulled into the pool, then he doesn't have time to do so. He acted on reflex.

By Quinklong | 0

#308303 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

lol, fail

By 69someone69 | 0

#308307 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

something like this has happened to me before.

DoveDoxy | 0

#3901137 - Wednesday 18 January 2012 1:50

Yay

By under_estimated | 0

#308318 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:09

dude my phone has been ruined by pools so many times i can't even count. You will live. Go by another one. But it still does suck.

MrPlopper | 9

#5106686 - Friday 2 November 2012 3:08

Behold, American teenagers at their finest!

udaykataria | 18

#6607684 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 3:24

It's buy. You're clearly not doing too well in English, are you?

By 122vanessa122 | 5

#308321 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:09

lmfao
fail for not seeing it in the first place

By justmyluck1212 | 0

#308330 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:10

b/c normal ppl avoiding water damage 2 their phones tend to toss them freely...

By Xero3g | 5

#308343 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:13

Phones always work great new if not, they can be returned. Girls come with all sorts of problems. Up to you what you want to replace...

By bishoprsv2 | 0

#308346 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:13

Rape your girlfriend later on.
And, uh, learn how to throw...