Miscellaneous: Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid...

By WetPhone - United States

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49509

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11018

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Miscellaneous

Rock, hard place

Out of it

Cut her off

By black_pheonix77 - 3/7/2020 02:02

Hi, how are you?

Today, even though I’m not allowed to be on my phone while on the line at work, I texted an unknown number. My manager looked at her Apple Watch. I'd texted my manager while on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

386

You deserved it

1999

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By LLP - 15/10/2020 17:01 - United States

Freudian slip

Today, I found out there's nothing like getting dumped and then receiving an inadvertent Snapchat sext from your ex-girlfriend that was intended for her new boyfriend, on what would have been your anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1406

You deserved it

114

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By Anonymous - 29/1/2021 11:01

Judgmental

Today, I just had an argument with my father. He claimed that if a woman is covered in tattoos, it's quite clear that she's a whore. He said so in front of my girlfriend, who has tattoos all over her arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1144

You deserved it

142

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By shiznit - United States

Technique

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33511

You deserved it

4264

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By Heather - United States - Newport News

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28368

You deserved it

12688

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By Anon - United States - Lansing

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16101

You deserved it

1241

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33845

You deserved it

2497

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By idonthavelice - China

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

I agree, your life sucks

26010

You deserved it

2398

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38191

You deserved it

2853

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By callie - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37822

You deserved it

6614

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By DeepFriedLettuce - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks

13365

You deserved it

1504

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By mandapanda - United States

Today, as I was driving to work in the aftermath of a terrible blizzard that came through my area last night, a lady slid through an intersection and hit my car, totaling it. I called my boss and told her what happened, only to have her tell me that we were closed due bad roads. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30035

You deserved it

4843

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By xattackattackx - United States

Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29814

You deserved it

2736

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to explain to a customer that she can't use the bathroom while going through the drive-thru. I still don't understand what exactly she had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5718

You deserved it

420

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By Noname - United States

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

I agree, your life sucks

97765

You deserved it

4387

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By caughttt - United States

Never cross the streams

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11224

You deserved it

43462

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By leogs23 - 2/3/2021 20:01

Force of habit, or just mean?

Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

824

You deserved it

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By Pain - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12959

You deserved it

72076

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By Tom - Israel

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50366

You deserved it

3572

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By troll of a gran - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

35749

You deserved it

4826

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By Badday - Canada

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17912

You deserved it

29842

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By gvmfvr - France - Fontenay-sous-bois

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

I agree, your life sucks

46068

You deserved it

3947

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By slashteddy - United States

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37850

You deserved it

2787

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By ddriver100

Today, I picked up some of my friends from a bar downtown. They were pretty drunk and were yelling stupid things at people walking by. After stopping to let a fat guy cross the street, they yelled, "Hurry up fatty!" He responded by throwing his milkshake at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1533

You deserved it

765

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By kprice6 - United States

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34400

You deserved it

33015

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By Rakib - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25748

You deserved it

2044

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By yupimher

The long goodbye

Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1602

You deserved it

139

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By Maggie - Canada

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28340

You deserved it

3961

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By fml - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30287

You deserved it

2616

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By considering murder - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on a huge project after 8 months of gruelling work. My boss had used the promise of a 5-figure bonus to motivate me. When I casually brought the bonus up later in the day, my boss just said "Gratitude's its own reward, Mike." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23795

You deserved it

1763

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By ctop - United States

Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39363

You deserved it

8402

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By Swatted - United States - Sparks

Today, a model I've been working on for an art competition was declined. They thought I was being insensitive and "rudely glorifying 9/11". My model was about the ending scene of King Kong. I spent twenty hours on that model. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31164

You deserved it

2920

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By Really - United States - Butte

Today, I told my mother that, after years of cheating and abuse, I'm finally getting a divorce. Her reaction was deep concern that my husband might not want to "be friends" with the rest of the family any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26264

You deserved it

1541

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By lindsaykay - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44000

You deserved it

4087

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By Erica - Australia - Sydney

Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose ‘to prove that she’s responsible’. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4378

You deserved it

656

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By yuck

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30270

You deserved it

4163

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By Jess - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I called my boyfriend. He answered with, "Hey, I'll call you back when this goes to commercial." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1214

You deserved it

460

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By Fhhmylifeman - 11/4/2021 11:00

Geography

Today, I invited my Peruvian girlfriend to my parent’s house for dinner. They decorated the house with Mexican flag and Fiesta lanyards, and bought Taco Bell. My girlfriend is vegetarian and had to explain to them that no, Peru is not a city in Mexico. It’s been 3 hours and she won’t pick up her calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

985

You deserved it

160

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By AtLeastTheyreClean - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after hours of protesting and tantrums, I finally got my kids to clean their rooms. They're all really proud of themselves and enjoying all the extra space. I'm stuck with the three extra loads of laundry they found in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5902

You deserved it

2082

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By Anonymous - Korea, Republic of - Pyongtaek

Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message saying that I was unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2536

You deserved it

24768

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Top comments

By wbrycem | 0

#308375 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:16

#3 fail. He WAS trying to take care of his phone, dipshit

By vivigun | 3

#976633 - Friday 9 April 2010 2:56

he was trying to avoid water damage by throwing it, therefore he was trying to take care of it.

COMMENTS

By Doorhandle57 | 0

#308288 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:06

hahaha that sucks

laxbro4769 | 6

#4335758 - Saturday 21 April 2012 21:36

Your girlfriend actually pulled you into the pool? Are you a wimp or is she a beast?

By stereoskyline_fml | 0

#308300 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

Nice

By famouslove | 0

#308301 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

vivigun | 3

#976633 - Friday 9 April 2010 2:56

he was trying to avoid water damage by throwing it, therefore he was trying to take care of it.

NuTrees | 9

#2798140 - Friday 1 July 2011 15:32

right tell that bitch!

ItzKymra | 0

#2799147 - Friday 1 July 2011 17:57

u fail majorly. he was trying to keep it from ruining. dipshit.

skullcandifiedDJ | 5

#4073555 - Wednesday 22 February 2012 20:09

"Throwing" your phone is not taking care of it. He should've told her to wait and PLACED his damn phone on the chair. Stupid mistake, but YDI

Sinamoi | 18

#5500911 - Tuesday 21 May 2013 14:47

If he is being pulled into the pool, then he doesn't have time to do so. He acted on reflex.

By Quinklong | 0

#308303 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

lol, fail

By 69someone69 | 0

#308307 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

something like this has happened to me before.

DoveDoxy | 0

#3901137 - Wednesday 18 January 2012 1:50

Yay

By under_estimated | 0

#308318 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:09

dude my phone has been ruined by pools so many times i can't even count. You will live. Go by another one. But it still does suck.

MrPlopper | 9

#5106686 - Friday 2 November 2012 3:08

Behold, American teenagers at their finest!

udaykataria | 18

#6607684 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 3:24

It's buy. You're clearly not doing too well in English, are you?

By 122vanessa122 | 5

#308321 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:09

lmfao
fail for not seeing it in the first place

By justmyluck1212 | 0

#308330 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:10

b/c normal ppl avoiding water damage 2 their phones tend to toss them freely...

By Xero3g | 5

#308343 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:13

Phones always work great new if not, they can be returned. Girls come with all sorts of problems. Up to you what you want to replace...

By bishoprsv2 | 0

#308346 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:13

Rape your girlfriend later on.
And, uh, learn how to throw...