Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid...

By WetPhone - 15/6/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

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49485

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Miscellaneous

Time for the ER

Last dates

A beautiful truck decoration

By Hipnog - 7/11/2015 14:33 - Czech Republic

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

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22398

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By Cybertronianchic - 5/9/2020 09:58 - United Kindom - Birmingham

No kink-shaming

Today, I realised I'm so much more sexually attracted to Transformers than anyone I've ever met. FML

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891

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By Anonymous - 1/2/2015 10:21 - United States

Today, my boss explained that the company will be letting me go. She got so upset that she couldn't leave her office and I had to console her. I had to make her feel less sad for laying me off. FML

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31925

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By Gage - 27/10/2017 15:00

Today, having moved to Moscow over a week ago, I finally received the TV my work promised my flat would have. A big Russian man came to my door, handed me a TV from the 1970s and left. It doesn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2952

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By jeesh - 31/1/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

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7913

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2010 14:45 - Canada

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML

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28988

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By Brook363 - 27/5/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

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54639

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By Jacqueline - 1/7/2012 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By MysticSoup - 21/4/2019 22:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1021

You deserved it

3613

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By Gaylord - 28/4/2016 02:17 - United States - Aspers

Today, I realized that my somewhat flamboyant behavior may have given people the wrong impression when my classmate tried to set me up with one of her male friends. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her out all semester. FML

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13703

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2019 04:00

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

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1691

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By Me - 5/1/2010 07:16 - France

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

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39666

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By amya - 17/10/2009 08:39 - Canada

Today, I had a phone interview for a job I've had my eye on forever. I was dumped a few hours before the interview, but was okay until I was put on hold with music playing. Me and my boyfriend's song came on and I started bawling. I could hardly talk when they took me off hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35225

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By Emptyspace - 25/6/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67482

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By MexyBoy - 13/8/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML

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By WolfsScar - 8/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Lincoln

Be careful, please!

Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1384

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2019 04:04 - United States

Heavy

Today, a 100-foot maple tree fell on my house. I was inside. I was sleeping. FML

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1642

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By dusk - 5/1/2012 08:09 - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36924

You deserved it

4211

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By Amy - 10/1/2013 05:09 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

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44819

You deserved it

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By psycho ex - 3/5/2013 00:16 - Brazil

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

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59543

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By jennavankirk - 22/7/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

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20624

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By Hopelesslover - 4/8/2009 21:03 - Malta

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm. While doing so she was lying on her back. I asked her: "How do you like that, baby?". She responded by asking where I bought the false ceiling and spotlights as she thought it would look good in her flat. She got bored instead of excited. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 08:01 - United States

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

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23210

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By supermanxs1 - 9/3/2010 15:32 - United States

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

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By rc2981 - 13/6/2014 10:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44078

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By E_Sauce - 24/3/2019 12:00

Today I went to the bank to get a jar of coins exchanged for cash via fancy counter machine. After 30 minutes I was handed a bag of rolling sleeves and was told to do it myself. Good news, I have a lot more money than I thought. Bad news, I have A LOT more coins than I thought. FML

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1692

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By please knock - 13/9/2016 23:26 - United States - Needham

Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML

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11358

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1145

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By Trama1201 - 4/1/2020 14:00 - United States - Boston

My short hair!

Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML

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1677

You deserved it

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By Pakundo - 17/1/2009 11:31 - France

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

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26974

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By legotron - 30/10/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

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42635

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By itwasntme - 7/9/2019 16:00

It Wasn't Me, by Shaggy

Today, we found out my brother in law cheated on my sister. Somehow they’ve blamed me for the whole incident. I don’t know the guy. FML

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1625

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By Davey Crocker - 23/4/2020 08:00

Stay safe, wear a hazmat suit

Today, my coworker volunteered me to drop laptops off at two sites outside our normal areas. I asked if they were safe from COVID-19. "I don't know, but you're young. You'll be okay," responded the man who's been working from home for weeks. FML

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1473

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By cheat - 18/10/2009 11:30 - United States

Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm 'so slow a turtle could kick my ass' and that he has 'a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend.' FML

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19038

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By yuckspider - 20/4/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

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73167

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

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32470

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By Anonymous - 10/8/2012 22:06 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

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41346

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By cstokes - 5/5/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

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By Ben - 25/1/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

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20212

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By "AdorableDoxie" - 17/12/2018 22:00

Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML

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2303

That could've happened to me

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By mus - 23/4/2019 04:00

Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML

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597

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Top comments

By wbrycem | 0

#308375 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:16

#3 fail. He WAS trying to take care of his phone, dipshit

By vivigun | 3

#976633 - Friday 9 April 2010 2:56

he was trying to avoid water damage by throwing it, therefore he was trying to take care of it.

COMMENTS

By Doorhandle57 | 0

#308288 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:06

hahaha that sucks

laxbro4769 | 6

#4335758 - Saturday 21 April 2012 21:36

Your girlfriend actually pulled you into the pool? Are you a wimp or is she a beast?

By stereoskyline_fml | 0

#308300 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

Nice

By famouslove | 0

#308301 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

vivigun | 3

#976633 - Friday 9 April 2010 2:56

he was trying to avoid water damage by throwing it, therefore he was trying to take care of it.

NuTrees | 9

#2798140 - Friday 1 July 2011 15:32

right tell that bitch!

ItzKymra | 0

#2799147 - Friday 1 July 2011 17:57

u fail majorly. he was trying to keep it from ruining. dipshit.

skullcandifiedDJ | 5

#4073555 - Wednesday 22 February 2012 20:09

"Throwing" your phone is not taking care of it. He should've told her to wait and PLACED his damn phone on the chair. Stupid mistake, but YDI

Sinamoi | 18

#5500911 - Tuesday 21 May 2013 14:47

If he is being pulled into the pool, then he doesn't have time to do so. He acted on reflex.

By Quinklong | 0

#308303 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

lol, fail

By 69someone69 | 0

#308307 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

something like this has happened to me before.

DoveDoxy | 0

#3901137 - Wednesday 18 January 2012 1:50

Yay

By under_estimated | 0

#308318 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:09

dude my phone has been ruined by pools so many times i can't even count. You will live. Go by another one. But it still does suck.

MrPlopper | 9

#5106686 - Friday 2 November 2012 3:08

Behold, American teenagers at their finest!

udaykataria | 18

#6607684 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 3:24

It's buy. You're clearly not doing too well in English, are you?

By 122vanessa122 | 5

#308321 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:09

lmfao
fail for not seeing it in the first place

By justmyluck1212 | 0

#308330 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:10

b/c normal ppl avoiding water damage 2 their phones tend to toss them freely...

By Xero3g | 5

#308343 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:13

Phones always work great new if not, they can be returned. Girls come with all sorts of problems. Up to you what you want to replace...

By bishoprsv2 | 0

#308346 - Monday 15 June 2009 23:13

Rape your girlfriend later on.
And, uh, learn how to throw...