By NotGabe - 01/09/2013 14:25 - United States - Houston

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 551
You deserved it 3 527

NotGabe tells us more.

OP here. Looks like I caused some confusion, so let me clear it up. In the US, the changeable tops of a bottle are called nipples. Basically, a female customer gave my tits a twist.

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^ you being a dude just made this 10 times funnier!

I found this funnier than I should have.. Still sucks for you OP!

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I found this funnier than I should have.. Still sucks for you OP!

Guess she thought she was shopping at Boobies R Us >.>

#30. LMFAOO!!! The comment made it hilarious.

Boobies R Us? The first time I read this, I thought it said Barbies R Us

Me too! I was so confused as to what nipples had to do with Barbie. I thought there was a new accessory you could buy for her...

38 you think that's bad? The first time I read it as Toys R Us, the second time Barbies, and the third time Babies. I am so confused.

I thought this was familiar and I realised I moderated it and I was cracking up for about five minutes (:

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The shopper gave OP a titty twister lmao

Op thought the customer meant the bottle nipples, not theirs :P

OP is commonly asked where her nipples are located. She then leads the customer to an isolated aisle, lifts her shirt, and engages in sexual nipple twisting. Simple.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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I think the molester wanted teets (the top of a babies bottle) but was actually asking OP where their nipples are on their body. Well that's what I deciphered, this is just strange to me as well.

I had never heard someone call the top of the baby bottle a nipple, is all. Thanks.

12, apparently YOU didn't understand. The shopper was a woman (OP said her and she), not a guy.

In the US, the top of a baby bottle is called a nipple.

I found this utterly confusing as well, I'm British and consider my knowledge of American slang above average but I had never heard of the top of a babies bottle being called a nipple before. I've always called it a teat. Given that a teat and a nipple are essentially the same thing, a teat just being a specific kind of nipple, it does make sense but it still sounds strange to me.

it was a girl who did it.

waitttttt... is OP a boy or girl?

57, similarly, I never heard it called a teat. That makes me think of an animal.

OP here. Looks like I caused some confusion, so let me clear it up. In the US, the changeable tops of a bottle are called nipples. Basically, a female customer gave my tits a twist.

^ you being a dude just made this 10 times funnier!

I think teat sounds strange

It's actually teet. Doesn't make a difference, just looks better.

I thought you were a female. oh.

I don't know much about baby stuff, and I easily figured this out. All you have to do is think.

Can I ask why that comment was buried? I was only pointing it out, and it was relevant.

I know the feels, I work in the Baby section at Burlington coat factory

Sorry you have to deal with awfully strange customers!!

You should have bitch slapped her into next week

That would have gone down well. Still though, OP. I cringed. Sounds painful.

Next time I go to Bass Pro Shops I'm going to ask where the motor boats are. Then flip my thumbs towards my face and say "It's right here!", and dive down into the poor employes boobies and shake my head like a wet dog.

^ And on the 11 o'clock news

That's sexual harassment, next time stop teetering and just knuckle down on these boobs.

TEATering? No? Okay...

Dear god, I think I just found my dream job.

What, selling baby stuff or twisting random people's nipples?

Twisting other people's nipples? Heck no. I was thinking about being on the receiving end.

You might want to hide if you see Perdix walk into the building. You'll be getting more than you asked for.

Bad part is that the shopper was a she

Purple nurple!

Nipple Cripple

She didn't yell "Tittie Twister!?" She's breaking all the rules of that game!

No, she should have yelled "double titty twister!" That's bonus points, Perdix!

Haha we call that a "Purple Nurple" in Canada xD

Well now you know to run the other way if you ever see her again!

Or run towards her at full speed and give her a very painful titty twister.