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I think there was a bit of misunderstanding it was just my boss who thought that way, the ladies i work with are the most respectful and caring people i have ever met.

By Anonymous - 17/12/2009 01:57 - United States

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

agreeclassic 37 278

vote type 1 26 474

Lonely

By reddd - 10/05/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

agreeclassic 29 018

vote type 1 11 438

Backfire

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I went on a romantic date to the mountains to look a stars with a boy I just met. We started kissing and he stopped, asking if it was rude for him to take me home now. After getting dropped off, he texted me saying we could never do that again and we should never talk about it. FML

agreeclassic 51 019

vote type 1 5 597

By mafille - 19/03/2015 03:22 - France

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

agreeclassic 569

vote type 1 60

By bunintheoven - 23/10/2012 04:21 - United States - Seligman

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

agreeclassic 33 464

vote type 1 5 117

By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 02:49 - Canada - Regina

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

agreeclassic 12 999

vote type 1 37 220

By KBO - 08/06/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

agreeclassic 33 077

vote type 1 43 464

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

agreeclassic 73 348

vote type 1 7 657

By blueglover - 27/03/2012 07:40 - United States - Perris

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

agreeclassic 23 972

vote type 1 3 709

By dammitrain - 13/07/2010 19:43 - United States

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

agreeclassic 36 498

vote type 1 8 475

Lord have mercy

By Simms - 14/03/2012 02:32 - United States

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

agreeclassic 22 557

vote type 1 6 479

By Anonymous - 29/08/2012 16:38 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

agreeclassic 37 017

vote type 1 6 975

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

agreeclassic 48 516

vote type 1 3 970

By katiebabby - 17/06/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

agreeclassic 38 670

vote type 1 4 895

By [...] - 12/12/2013 14:28 - France - Vaulx-en-velin

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

agreeclassic 447

vote type 1 74

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Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML

agreeclassic 11 255

vote type 1 1 990

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

agreeclassic 23 866

vote type 1 3 858

Today, it's my birthday and I celebrated with friends. I now have 34 individual copies of the first Twilight movie. FML

agreeclassic 13 851

vote type 1 1 888

Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML

agreeclassic 29 865

vote type 1 5 606

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

agreeclassic 55 542

vote type 1 3 581

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

agreeclassic 38 689

vote type 1 3 759