Miscellaneous: Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage,...

By mylifeisahell - 18/02/2010 15:01 - Norway

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 298

You deserved it 7 188

Miscellaneous

BO Central

Eco-friendly

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 676

You deserved it 3 437

Swindler's List

By whoneedsloveanyway - 21/06/2020 02:01

Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 23/01/2016 11:26 - United States - Brunswick

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 947

You deserved it 2 276

By Xbieblette51 - 19/08/2014 22:30 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 771

You deserved it 6 927

Legal Eagle

By randommanwill - 16/02/2016 20:22 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad got angry with me for not watching "Better Call Saul" with him, because he thinks it will help me with law school. He did this while I was actually reading for a class taught by the top health law professor in the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 300

You deserved it 1 297

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:48 - United States

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 395

You deserved it 119 037

By badgirl - 21/06/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 291

You deserved it 23 567

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 19:36 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 418

You deserved it 23 004

By vikingunicorn - 03/02/2011 12:52 - Canada

Today, I parked three streets away despite the ungodly cold. I did this because in the past, on my street, I have had my car keyed, my tires slashed, and my side view mirror ripped off. When I went back out to my car, I found that someone had broken off my windshield wipers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 945

You deserved it 3 463

By hAHAha Halo - 02/08/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 5 127

By Thanksmom - 18/03/2016 06:23 - United States - Riverside

Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 045

You deserved it 1 443

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 759

You deserved it 2 575

By Abby - 17/10/2018 08:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, my employer gave me a gift to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my hire date. It would have been a really nice gesture if they weren't laying me off at the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 797

You deserved it 134

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 640

You deserved it 40 036

Catwalk

By Anonymous - 18/07/2021 02:01

Today, I was trying to walk in heels. My mom then started cracking up, saying I looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk just after coming out of the womb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 190

So, it is not immoral ?

By Anonymous - 17/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my parents were arguing about their relationship. My mom, who is very Christian, yells at my dad for watching porn. My dad responds, "Of course I watch porn, I've told you! I have shown you!" He is also the one who stressed to me at a very young age that porn is immoral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 156

By GiveMeCake - 02/12/2018 22:00

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 748

You deserved it 236

Please don't do this

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 15:38 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 029

You deserved it 6 668

By CatBlock - 31/01/2014 06:16 - United States - Decatur

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 081

You deserved it 7 941

Not really a good sign

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 02:01

Today, my long distance girlfriend of 6 months, who landed in canada last week, and for whom I was supposed to travel from Toronto to Vancouver next week to meet her for the first time, blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 151

By black hoodie - 19/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 094

You deserved it 5 950

Showtime

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 271

By Anonymous - 25/05/2013 22:47 - United States

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 472

You deserved it 4 858

Thanks for your help, dude

By Anonymous - 27/04/2017 00:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, on a train to the airport, the ticket inspector pointed out that my girlfriend and I hadn't activated our tickets. He suggested one of us get off and activate them at the next station. Now I'm on the moving train with all our luggage, and she's waving from the platform with our tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 797

You deserved it 481

By Anonymous - 17/08/2019 00:01

Today, after my boyfriend told me I didn’t have to worry about the ex who kept commenting on his pictures, I saw him sexting her when I leaned forward to tell him something from the back of our friend's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 299

You deserved it 192

By stoprubbingitinmyface - 21/03/2015 21:59 - United States - Tacoma

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 420

You deserved it 4 716

By Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends - 12/01/2013 01:11 - United States

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 118

You deserved it 3 184

By UghCats - 06/02/2011 01:58 - United States

Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 12 113

By Hopeless - 08/02/2011 03:22

Today, I found out the real reason why me and my boyfriend of four and a half months have "so much in common". He used to be my stalker, who followed me around in a black hoodie and always posted stuff on my Myspace as an anonymous person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 795

You deserved it 6 095

Not worth it

By Anonymous - 14/10/2021 16:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I realized what pulling an all-nighter means in reality. You’re psyched and active for about two hours after the decision, then you plod along bleary-eyed for another 4-8, after which you inevitably fall into bed, only to end up tired and with a fucked-up sleep cycle for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 437

By Anonymous - 23/07/2014 16:01 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 704

You deserved it 15 533

By FckMyLife - 24/03/2011 14:46 - United States

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 10 053

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 329

You deserved it 104 939

By caramelkarma - 15/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 65 552

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 19:05 - United States - Rogers

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 934

You deserved it 4 182

By Anonymous - 12/09/2014 21:36 - United States - New York

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 719

You deserved it 3 494

By sadbride - 09/10/2018 13:30

Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I am severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 921

You deserved it 253

By agstone - 09/08/2017 23:15

Today, at 2:47 am, my mom woke me up in a panic screaming about smelling gas and the house blowing up. Twenty minutes, two fire trucks, and a traumatized dog later, it was just the neighbors burning their mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 974

You deserved it 206

By anonymous - 21/11/2012 18:16 - United States - Tucson

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 191

You deserved it 7 631

Paul Blurt

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 16:01

Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 126

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Top comments

FernandoTorres_fml 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:05

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I said I'd fuck you, And it is still true. Nahhh, that was never going to get you laid mate. ;)

sarcdude 3

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:06

I'll take the negative response first and the positive response last. 1. If you're constantly stalking her or something after she's said no, then YDI-though admittedly she overdid it with the garbage, that was just douchey. 2. Aw, that sucks. Sorry she don't feel the same for you and was that much of a douche to you. Try not to send love poems to any girls any more and move on. PS: Or if the poem was anything like what #3 said, then you'd wholly deserve it :P

Ethos_fml 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:02

Keep ay it lad

Averizzle 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:09

Should of given her roses.

Reyo 2

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:39

Whatever you decide to do OP, just remember that Rape is never the answer. ...it's the solution.

Averizzle 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:43

You mean it's the question and the answer is yes?

TrekkieGirl 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:47

Well at least now you know that she's clearly not interested in you.

boyguydudemalema 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:06

Lay off the stalking bizz bruh.

iAlwaysYDI 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:08

wow. . .that really sucks, man.

nmsm 1

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:31

@36 Isn't answer and solution the same thing?

Dr_Pwn 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:43

I suggest roofies

BigBoii123456 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:57

haha.

sharpl916 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 22:05

it's not rape if she enjoys it!! xD but no, don't do things like that

EatMyCrayonz 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 22:20

Its not rape if you say supprise :P

tweetbaby14 18

Thursday 18 February 2010 23:11

well that's what happens when you are a creeper how'd you get her address anyway...

Ouroboros_fml 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 23:45

Get the Police involved. In most places it is a felony to tamper with someone's mail and/or mailbox. If someone had the nerve to touch my mail, and they weren't an employee of the postal system, I'd get their ass arrested. And hey, you've got nothing to lose, you already know she won't go out with you.

bobman555 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 2:20

That's a little harsh way of saying no thanks, dont you agree?

schwinn11 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 2:30

Remember, it's not the gift that counts, it's the thought !

M4V3R1CKR13 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 5:38

*COUGH* Stalker jk

Kamens 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 7:46

YDI for being a stalker. Or YDI for not saying it in person.

boyguydudemalema 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 8:13

109 is a freaking tatle tale !!! he gots a point tho . . .

martial42 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 11:34

staaaaallllkkkker lmao

Blazinthatshit 9

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Monday 15 July 2013 19:34

No an answer is a response a question, a solution is a way to solve a problem

shiritt 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:04

all right, nice one lad!

3DLoli 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 22:40

<3 Norwayyy.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:05

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I said I'd fuck you, And it is still true. Nahhh, that was never going to get you laid mate. ;)

sharpl916 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 22:10

there are people who writes poetry these days? Just say I like you to her directly or girls these days will never understand a single line of any poems!

Domonator 16

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Thursday 18 February 2010 23:58

Sounds like the OP is an old-fashioned guy. He just needs to find a like-minded gal.

cowgod 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 1:22

Roses are red the sun is gold now get on your knees and do what you're told

elvgar 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 4:21

nice :P

underfailer 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 4:59

knees didnt rhyme with red, I suggest: now get in bed and do what your told.

Marv88 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 6:45

the 1st and 3rd lines don't have to rhyme....

boyguydudemalema 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 8:16

i agree with the mighty cowgod, just because he is a cow god, im no cow . . . just saying

cowgod 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 17:10

lol yeah that does sound better

kialuvsyoo 3

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Sunday 21 February 2010 3:27

so true. that girl was way too harsh!!

sarcdude 3

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:06

morganiscool114 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 21:23

what does YDI mean

haydenshaw 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 23:23

Yoshi Does Ibuprofen

Comatose27 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 23:59

YDI= You Dumb Idiot.

Domonator 16

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Friday 19 February 2010 0:03

Yellow Dirty Intestines

Gourmet_Taco 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 5:09

Yeti Disinfecting Isopropynol

johncow123 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 8:46

Yelling donkey intoxication

Eddie_Paints 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 9:51

You don't investigate!

slushpup9696 12

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Wednesday 4 May 2011 8:19

Yeah! Derp Igloo!

I_lost_the_game 25

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Tuesday 6 March 2012 20:58

Your Dick Infection

rockstarajl 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:06

stop stalking her and maybe she will reconsider :p jk

BadPinkKitty07 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:10

that was uncalled for. what a beeyotch.

Imag1naryGirl 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:10

next time just offer Ur wanker

FernandoTorres_fml 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:10

He wants to do his "dick move" on her private parts?

050294 0

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:11

Now you know that she's trashy!

airforce987 20

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Thursday 18 February 2010 20:12

love poems genarally don't get first dates. talking and being friendly does. poems are for relationships and valentines day. YDI for being an idiot, even though you didn't deserve garbage in your mailbox

Spyrunner 0

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Friday 19 February 2010 0:25

Poems are for those too chicken to talk face to face.

happyhak 5

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Friday 19 February 2010 0:45

Poems are for those who truely love enough to let the other have a treasured item which will constently remind them of how much they love them... Not just some stupid speech...