By war_monkey - 10/04/2014 12:20 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 756
You deserved it 4 271

war_monkey tells us more.

It started on april fools with some very lame joke and he has decided to carry on with it and screw around. Thanks for all of the funny comments and yes, I wanted to punch jeff in the face. He has stopped and I showed him the published FML, XD.

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Top comments

"Jeff just got punched in the face"

"Jeff has a sudden pain in the crotch"


"Jeff just got punched in the face"

And the end of Jeff is now, in a puddle if his own blood, while for some reason I'm still talking because I'm supposed to be dead.

Narrate him rudely. "Jeff, the ignorant sonofafuck, reaches for the stapler." "That rude motherfucker who narrates himself takes a phone call." it could help.

larrena2377 26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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wickedalwayswins 7

"One time, he punched me in the face... it was awesome!"

his next line would be jeff got pmfffd nn hfh fcce

"Jeff's neck spontaneously broke"

"Jeff saw your FML..."

#75 A little too far there, dude.

#86, I actually showed him this FML :D

S'okay... I get your reference. :)

^ This #1. Serves him right.

Sweet you actually followed up

Good job Op, now none of the tricks will work! "Jeff is not afraid of you."

Badkarma4u 17

Jeff happens to be an amateur kickboxer and decided to beat the living crap out someone who assaults him because he was talking at work. Jeff then calls the police and has you arrested for assault and battery. Jeff watches you get escorted out of the bulding with all your belongings in a box. Jeff has a job while you have to explain your history of workplace violence on your next few interveiws.

wickedalwayswins 7

It was a Mean Girls reference... tough crowd.

I don't know why everyone is complaining, i would love a talking chimp!

"Jeff has a sudden pain in the crotch"

"Jeff is now in the Intensive Care Unit due to multiple injuries from the comment section on FML

"Jeff got smacked in the face"

TheDrifter 23

Jeff is sad now. Jeff is reaching for a tissue. The tissue hurts Jeff's nose. Somehow I don't see violence improving the situation.

Jeff got pushed down the stairs:0

Yes, 4, murder is clearly the only way out of this.

You must be a first to not fall down some steps in your life then...congrats

One does not simply get pushed down the stairs and survive.

36, falling is fine, being pushed generally causes a harder impact.

It's a joke. On a website where people usually joke.

I like your style #82, how is it people don't get that?

Sounds like a bunch of real life status updates. You just can't escape them.

Facebook is all around...

Go up to him and say, "Jeff just got slapped." Then you know what to do after that op.

Give Jeff a hug, right?

WRONG- arnold schwarzenegger, commando.

Imhere4fml 24

"Jeff is dead"

Nah don't kill him just play the repeater. Get everyone in the office in on it. One day of the repeater and he will stop narrating!

"Jeff had a slight accident on the staircase."How unfortunate.

Reminds me of the family guy episode when Peter narrates his life. Course, he got punched in the face too. Maybe the episode is trying to tell you something.

"Jeff awoke several hours later in a daze"

I would copy everything his does