By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 14:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 100
You deserved it 9 866

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MAKE HER A HAM STEAK

If she's pregnant, you're going to be doing a lot of this stuff. A friend of mine craved pickled gerkhins (dill pickles) dipped in ice cream when she was pregnant, and burst into tears when she smelled a bad smell...

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"Why do I need to make you one when I have one right here?"

11, "why do I need to reply to #1 when I would still be on the first page"

17-She thought that the reception to her comment would be greatly improved when compared to my atrocious comment

No, she meant to reply to the comment under this one. It must've ended up here somehow. It happens a lot to me.

You sir, #1, are what we call delinquiets

Did you mean Delinquent? #53

Big mis-steak there OP!

#94- A delinquiet is a quietly mischievous person.

40, Unless she is pregnant with someone else's child, he most certainly got laid.

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I wish this made sense.

How did you manage to come up with such a magnificent, so original comment? (You are probably as dummy as #1. Making nonsensical comments

HowAreYouToday 34

My dear SuperRocket, know that whole the comments were not good, your replies have made you seem like a larger moron than someone who believes that gravity is a figment of our imagination.

Dear goodness, please stop superrocket19.

Now that comment 69 shows up for me, I see that we have entered Inception-level correction fails...I can't handle this any more

We can start with how "as dummy" is not even close to proper English.

wtf. this comment made perfect sense to me. i dont understand how this got thumbed down. and now im probably going to get thumbed down, for 'daring to question the judgment of other FMLers'

Well 110, maybe if you didn't leave such bitchy comments, you wouldn't get thumbed down so much.

how dare you. never question them.

I'm pretty sure it didn't make sense like it wouldn't make any sense to do because its doing something nice just to destroy it in front of them to be a prick. The women is pregers damn it!

If she's pregnant, you're going to be doing a lot of this stuff. A friend of mine craved pickled gerkhins (dill pickles) dipped in ice cream when she was pregnant, and burst into tears when she smelled a bad smell...

Jeez OP it is going to be a very long pregnancy for you and your lady if all you are going to do is whine. Stop being such a baby and go treat her with some love and attention.

Yeah my friends wife used to take McDonald's French fries and dip them in a Wendy's frosty (ice cream) the bad part was each restaurant was 30 mins away from the other and she had those cravings 3 to 4 times a week. Good luck OP, in the end with will be well worth it!

As a friend of mine, husband to a pregnant wife, once said, "You send us to a different state for cookies, but what you don't know is we're glad to go because it gets us away from you for a few hours."

As a man, I'm of the opinion that the men aren't the ones forcing a human being out of their body, so dealing with random emotions and weird food requests are a small price to pay.

Nothing like a good ol' ham steak after sex!

She didn't need ham and steak. All she's been craving was some meat.

What about a bacon sand which after sex?!? Huh that would be a dream come true...

Sand which... Oh dear.

Ha. Bacon? Thought it was ham steak ..

Oh deer. I'm sorry #43 I meant *sandwich. I apologize for making that simple error..

#72 I know. I was messing with the other person who corrected my earlier mistake by making a mistake with........oh never mind. Just feel good about yourself correcting me. *shakes head*

MAKE HER A HAM STEAK

...For the love of God!!!!!

three meat treat? ham, steak, and, well...

Not really a fyl or a fhl. Cravings and mood swings are normal with pregnancy. Just be a good boyfriend and be there for her, and get her the foods she craves.

Who knows..doing more caring might get you more action. She'll feel better about life if she feels loved. You two sound young; she's probably panicking that she's going to be fat and unlovable so keep letting her know she's gorgeous.

its going to be a very emotional 9 months for them.

OP, when a girl is pregnant, she's usually a lot more emotional than ever. Do what she wants...girls go through a lot during pregnancy :/

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So, 91, you're telling me that when you're pregnant and have to go through all this shit, that you wouldn't want your husband to make you something to eat, do some of the chores around the house, or even give you a massage, etc? Ha, good luck getting around.

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I'm sure 99s opinion will be very different when she actually experiences pregnancy, lol.

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it's always amusing to hear people make statements on experiences they've never even been through.

I thought that way too, until I got pregnant and the hormones took over. Pregnancy can really change some woman into things they were not before. Until you actually have been pregnant, you honestly can't say how you will act. The surge of new hormones can make woman crazy.

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What happened then? Decide you were too young?

113 - Considering the dictionary also defines 'hear' as "Be told or informed of" and "Be aware of; know of the existence of", I would say she can definitely hear your opinion.

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jesus gurl, ain't nobody got time fo' dat.

Nice novel there, 116. Lol

Maybe you weren't demanding, snobby, cranky, b*tchy, whatever when you were pregnant... but you sure are now. Chill the heck out, it's the internet. Geez.

Well damn, maybe you weren't a bitch while you were pregnant, but you certainly are now. I mostly agree with you, but pregnancy can really change a person, and just because it supposedly didn't happen to you does not give you the right to judge other women

Well damn, maybe you weren't a bitch while you were pregnant, but you certainly are now. Pregnancy can really change a person, and just because it supposedly didn't happen to you does not give you the right to judge other women as milking it for all it's worth. Get off your high horse.

116 You're annoying, stop spamming FML with your life story every time someone disagrees with you. No one asked you for your autobiography or for your self-important attitude. Chill the fuck out.

I wasn't any of those things when I was pregnant, but I did however have to have other people doing a lot of things for me, I was throwing up until around 7pm everyday. So maybe some of these women have reasons for being how they are. Don't judge.

Also given the fact that no two pregnancy are the same in some woman, you could maybe end up acting like that the next go around. Had a friend who's first pregnancy was perfect and then her next she was a crying sobbing mess for most of the 9 months.

116- With all that suffering and stress, it sounds perfectly normal to be bitchy sometimes when you're pregnant. The intense pain from my period makes me grumpy and have mood swings, so I don't see any problem with someone who's pregnant to voice their frustration.

"Damn it make me a ham steak! The baby wants it!

this comment in conjunction with your profile pic makes it so much more funnier

more funnier? you've got to be kidding me.

Excuse me, but before being a bitch about every comment, try to correct your profile. Then you'd have a reason to criticize.

117- Please change your profile so nobody ever has to suffer like I did while reading it.

Why can't you bronies stay out of just one topic. You can go to google images and look up any random word no matter how dark, perverted, or just plain everyday stuff. And you guys will post a picture. Stop obsessing over a show meant to reach out to 7 year old girls.

^No. We can't stay out of a topic. You can vent about bronies all you want but no one really cares except for you.

Apparently she wanted some real meat.

He's the other white meat

This actually made me laugh!

I feel your pain.