By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks 67 527
You deserved it 15 211

Same thing different taste

Top comments

friedpwnadge 25

Well, he IS giving decent advice ... I mean if he's gonna do it, he's gotta do it right.


HeadlessSparrow 20

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HeadlessSparrow 20
slickchrome 11

You should have the talk with him, it will make him feel uncomfortable and then he'll think about the talk every time he's active and he will think twice.

Why, it seems like pretty great advice to me.

Your husband is awesome! Nothing wrong with learning it the right way early on.

deepunder 17

Try talking to your son yourself. And is the dad really wrong? Where u hoping for him to tell your son" never have sex unless u want a baby because pleasure is bad for you"?

You should chime in "rap it before you tap it" he is going to do no matter what the "talk" is about!!

Don't be silly, protect your willy :)

carleybeak 21

Don't be a loner, cover your boner

Roskosity 22

Lick it before you stick it.

Megan98 18

Before you attack her, wrap your whacker!

WhisperSoflty 20

Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks.

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CallMeMcFeelii 13

When you tap, spray the back.

Stormdriven37 6

Be smart in bed, cover the head.

My parents always told me - sex can wait, **********

Don't be a moron, flush that come down the john! (Sorry, I tried making up my own...)

Put it in plastic...before you attack it

KeannaLove 32

don't let your affection give you an infection. put some protection on that erection.

For a better tomorrow, tell her to swallow.

Cover your stump before you hump!

ArielTheMermaid 17

Don't be a nut, stick it up the butt!

Can't go wrong, when you cover your slong

53- no, we didn't. we just didn't want to look like asses.

:/ the FML community is the essence of harshness.

53- you were the harsh one wrap your dick, STD's will make you sick

LiterOfCola 16

Shield your peepee, and I hate you #53

Favouriting this FML for future reference to all of these lines

Give her a surprise, pull out and cum in her eyes!

If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey Bag your mole then do her hole Armour the tank before you enter the flank Leash your pet before launching your jet Wrap it in plastic, it'll be fantastic. I could go on

"safe sex is great sex. better wear a latex, cause you don't want that late text, that 'I think I'm late' text." - lil wayne

armor the tank before you attack the flank

friedpwnadge 25

yeah, at least he is giving helpful tips.

That's the kind of advice guys should be given ! As long as he threw in a little don't be silly, wrap it too that's the best talk ever.

I suppose that it depends on how old he is. My father was was sort of the same way, but he also talked about the risks.

sofineedsaladder 10

Wrap the stump before you hump!

Even if its a quicky, wrap that sticky.

What is the point in asking? You aren't going to get a reply.

If he asks "What's a clit?", he's most likely too young.

I don't know about that. Plenty of older guys seem to not know what a clit is. Or a g-spot for that matter.

Well, he IS giving decent advice ... I mean if he's gonna do it, he's gotta do it right.

It could've been worse. He could've been troll dad and given him intentionally bad advice to make him so bad in bed that the girl wouldn't want to sleep with him anymore.

Lol I was there when a friend gave his son the "man in the boat" speech. He turned out just fine. Male bonding at its finest!

Your name makes this comment that much better.

OhDearBetrayal 25

13- Your picture makes it even better.

how old is this kid? that's the big question. he is probably old enough to know the basics (which all kids learn from school or in some way) so maybe this was best advice for him. MEN!

gloooooria 14

Some way? Is that hoping that the kiddos learn it from somewhere? Maybe that's why teen pregnancy is high. As a parent, one of the responsibilities is teaching your children about sex and safe sex and all in between. You can't just hope while being a parent.

kitten1323 19

26, Uh, I don't really think he/she was hoping. Just making an observation. Unbunch your panties

jem970 19

I thought that was the g-spot? I wouldn't think that would be hard to miss, I mean it is outside the body and all.

#26, If the kid has a brain and internet access, it would mean he learned a LOT about sex somewhere around age of 12 and you didn't know about that. If his "activity" results in teen pregnancy, he has no brain. #59, I really hope you're trolling or joking. If there are many guys that think the same way, they're all screwed.

jem970 19

The clit, not the g-spot. I wouldn't think a guy would have a hard time locating a clit. If they do then they are in trouble. Sex ed covers that much at least. Sorry, I wrote my previous post poorly.

Kids learning sex ed from other kids in school is the reason for the staggering teen pregnancy rate.

88, it looks like you think that we still live in 20th century. Time has changed. Kids don't need to ask other kids about sex. They can open any browser and search for answers. 13..15 years ago it wasn't possible. Now any idiot can do it.

I did not mean that the talk wasn't needed. all I meant was that it may already be known especially since he is already active. and even in today's society you can express the importance of protection, but that doesn't mean every kid will listen. so maybe the dad was aware his child is smart enough to be responsible so he turned it into a joke.