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By Anonymous - 31/03/2018 19:00 - China - Xiamen

Today I found out my university incorrectly calculated my GPA. The threshold for the Ph.D. scholarship was 2.69, and I had a 2.68, so I did not get the scholarship. My new GPA is 3.34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 154

You deserved it 306

It's a sign...

By Ohfknhell - 16/05/2018 05:00

Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 680

You deserved it 767

Free healthcare, now!

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 10:02

Today, I flew to America for my dad's funeral. I broke my vials of insulin and went to a pharmacy for a refill. No one told me they charge for insulin in America. One vial cost 270 dollars, the funeral is three days away and after booking a hotel, I have 6 dollars to feed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 872

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 03/07/2018 15:00

Today, I was verbally harassed by a customer because I wouldn’t give her special treatment after her meal was incorrect. I offered her a refund and a coupon for a free meal, which she refused before calling me a stupid kid who wouldn’t do anything to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 634

You deserved it 239

Subjective

By whyyyyy - 17/05/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, after months of dating, I finally saw my boyfriend naked. Turns out he has a micropenis. I assured him that I like him for who he was and that we could explore other things. He said no, because oral and sex toys are "immoral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 869

You deserved it 498

Three is the magic number

By KTBeck - 26/05/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, my husband returned from a hiking trip. We had "I missed you" sex and after we were done, he told me about all the ticks he had while on the trail. He then went to shower and while washing, he found a tick latched to his penis. I technically had a three way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 794

You deserved it 377

The truth always comes out

By DammitMan - 30/11/2022 14:00 - United States - Miami

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend. In front of my wife. There was nowhere to run since we were in the car and my Bluetooth feature was on. My girlfriend’s phone had died and unbeknownst to me, she was calling from her mom’s phone, which is why I answered. I'm now walking home. It’s 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 4 347

A writer writes

By Anonymous - 12/06/2020 05:05

Today, my boyfriend came across an old poem I wrote. I like to write horror stuff, but he was disturbed, called it “silly” and “sad”, and said he didn’t want to have a girlfriend who thinks about stuff like that. I'm now discouraged from becoming a writer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 226

Buckethead

By hi! - 17/09/2021 14:00

Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 147

By whiteycan'tgetitrightey - 24/02/2015 23:13 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 4 950

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 264

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 17:00

Today, my marriage is one week away. Despite all the challenges we faced during COVID, we powered through everything. Today is also the day my work decided to tell me they're letting me go. I now have to either go on my improvised honeymoon or job hunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 146

Between a rock and a soft place

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, it's our eighth anniversary. My husband has struggled for a while with erectile dysfunction, and tonight he decided it wasn't worth trying. So now, he's sitting at home, soft, while I'm eating Taco Bell in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 854

You deserved it 313

By AlwaysAfraid - 16/10/2018 22:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in almost a year. To keep things casual, he had a couple of his friends join. Oh and by a couple of friends, I mean a party of people from his church. I'm not religious. The date wasn't even half over before I was being preached to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 297

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 741

Not gonna happen

By how bout no! - 10/10/2020 02:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years said that he wants to marry and spend his life with me. But first he wants to go be wild and single for a few years before settling down. Not only does he not see a problem with this, he expects me to wait and be faithful to him while he “gets it out of his system”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 23/11/2018 13:30 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my sister put a piece of leather in my homemade beef jerkey to prove a point. I ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 212

You deserved it 1 431

Man caver

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 18:00

Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 1 311

By DeadlyKitten - 20/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 182

You deserved it 725

By deerling - 06/03/2019 18:00

Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 479

By Tendy - 12/04/2017 12:34

Today, my hockey gear is in Jacksonville, Florida. Too bad my game in three hours is in Dallas, Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 299

You deserved it 585

EvanB60 tells us more.

EvanB60 2

Wednesday 12 April 2017 7:26

OP here, I live in Maryland and had to fly to Dallas for my hockey tournament. Although my stick showed up at the right airport, my bag containing my gear was somehow flown to Jacksonville instead of Dallas.

By cookyourowndamndinner - 16/04/2017 20:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my roommates sat me down and said we need to have a serious chat. I was worried, until they asked me if I could quit my new night job. When I asked why, they said it was because I wasn't home anymore to cook them dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 098

You deserved it 471

By Anonymous - 21/12/2016 05:35

Today, I got stood up by all five of my friends. I had to spend two hours getting hit on by a guy because I didn't feel safe to drive home. Their excuse? They didn't think I was serious when I said I was already at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 446

You deserved it 761

Gratitude walks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2021 17:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Spicy

Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 183

By KillerChipmunk - 01/06/2017 12:08

Today, I tried to face my fears and take the elevator at the hotel I'm staying at. When the door opened, I was greeted with a taser pointed at me and, "Are you sure you want to get on this elevator?" Guess it's the stairs for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 595

You deserved it 349

KillerChipmunk tells us more.

KillerChipmunk 15

Wednesday 31 May 2017 23:47

Hey OP here! I really really hate elevators, but we were on the 9th floor of our hotel, so that's a lot of stairs to do in cosplay (I was at a con). The elevator wasn't too bad actually but this happening set me back a bit. I reported it to the front desk as soon as I had calmed down, and security walked me back up. In the morning, they came back to take my full statement so they could file a proper police report. For the rest of the weekend, I was carrying my pepper spray and had my phone camera ready to take pictures if I saw them again. Thankfully I didn't.

By historyrepeats - 11/07/2019 04:00

Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 644

You deserved it 326

By khlonnae - 22/10/2017 01:30 - United States - Dayton

Today, while hanging out with my boyfriend, I started getting ready for bed. As I grabbed my face wipes, he said, “Wait, don't take off your makeup because then you'll be ugly.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 341

You deserved it 570

The man don't give a ****

By Nachos4lifs - 08/11/2019 01:00

Spicy

Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 790

You deserved it 489

Self report

By Criminy - 04/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went on yet another date with this beautiful young lady from my job. I can’t help but feel bad because ever since my wife gave birth to our kid she’s been sluggish and puffy, and I’m not attracted to her anymore, but I don’t know how to leave her because my son would be without a father. I hate this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 2 610

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 949

You deserved it 561

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Today, my fiancé got impatient and passed a lady doing 15 mph under the speed limit. The lady was driving slowly in case the black ice in the other lane was in both. We spun out and drove right into a guard rail. I'd just filled the tank, so now I'm down $40 and need to pay for a rental too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 824

You deserved it 3 325

Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 046

You deserved it 3 430

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 327

You deserved it 3 803

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 789

You deserved it 2 693

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 873

You deserved it 57 305

Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 91