Crush

Skittish

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 91

Saucy talk

By nicetoknow - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Blacktown

Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "… unlike my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 116

You deserved it 1 626

Clueless

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my crush I liked him. Instead of rejecting me or telling me that he might have felt similar, he decided to pretend to be dumb and clueless and just kept asking who my crush was. I found out later that he knew all along but he just wanted to ragebait me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 91

Forget me not

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 22:00 - Lebanon

Today, I discovered my childhood crush's account after mourning our separation for years. I texted him and I introduced myself to him. I thought he would be as surprised and excited, but unfortunately he'd forgotten all about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 346

Work husbands and wives…

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I (35) have a crush on my supervisor (55) [we're both managers). I cannot get my mind off them. They are married and have kids my age. It's not just looks, but how they treat me, feels like they actually respect me, which I don’t feel like people do. I know nothing will happen between us, but can't stop thinking about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 359

Social media etiquette

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 526

Admiral Ackbar didn't warn you?

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 15:00 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I was stalking my crush's sister's account and I checked her family highlight. Little did I know, she had my ass out for a treat. Tell me why I felt like those cartoon rats falling into those mouse trap. SHE HAD A HIGHLIGHT TRAP! My crush ended up texting me, "Are you stalking my sister?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 603

Never mix business with pleasure

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 173

Shoot your shot

By Anonymous - 27/05/2025 12:00 - China - Wuhan

Today, I learnt through others that my crush will be emigrating to the US in a month's time. We've known each other for almost three years but I'm too afraid to say it. But then we will never cross paths again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 367

Better deal

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my crush would rather travel to another country to meet with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 335

Let 'em loose

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 423

Simp

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 588

You deserved it 40 217

Next!

By Yasminne - 06/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, the guy I like took 15 hours to respond to my text. When I asked him why he took so long to respond, he said, “Chill, I’m not your boyfriend or anything, why are you asking me questions like that?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 988

Don't hate the player…

By Bugggo - 19/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girl bestie, who I secretly have a crush on, sent me a screenshot of my girlfriend tagging me on a Facebook post, saying, “So when were you planning on telling me you have a girlfriend?” I fucking told my girlfriend not to tag me on shit in social media but she did it anyway. Now my bestie won’t talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 639

School sucks

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had a substitute for science and I was standing at the stationary table when some other guy came over and made the thing wobble. The whole thing fell over and I got all the blame. Then I was sitting with my friends at lunch but another friend came back right when my crush was gonna sit next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 150

No chemistry

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, It's Valentine's Day. I'm single and in college, where everyone is posting their S.O.s and going on dates. I'm intensely introverted and shy, and I have a crush but I'm way too scared to ever tell him, and I'm going to spend my evening alone studying organic chemistry. Honestly, I just feel nerdy and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 182

Bad sign, huh?

By Anonymous - 20/01/2025 22:00 - Malaysia - George Town

Today, I went to my class as usual. I've had my eyes on one guy for a year now. A new girl came in and he was talking about her with his friends when my friend suggested me instead of her. He took a glance at me before turning back into the conversation making the same face I did when I saw a disintegrated frog that'd been run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 125

Panic!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to FaceTime my crush instead of texting him. I panicked, dropped my phone, then answered the call with an unflattering close-up of my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 379

Fumbled the ball

By Cathy - 08/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I sent a message to my crush saying, “Hey, how are you?” I immediately followed it up with another message that said, “Oops, wrong person,” because I panicked. Now he probably thinks I wasn’t even trying to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 640

Not working out

By Anonymous - 09/11/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 448

Romcom vibes

By Depresso-espresso - 09/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 520

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 122

Here she comes

By Lili - 18/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I realized my gym crush has only been smiling at me because I’ve been using the equipment completely wrong for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 211

Factor variability

By Ella - 12/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush, who lives in Texas, got into a relationship. He turned me down when I'd confessed my feelings for him because he “doesn’t do long distance.” The girl he’s with lives in the same city as me. We both live in Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 149

Not a great sign, really

By anon - 30/08/2024 12:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I posted what I thought was a cute selfie on Instagram with the classic caption, "Feeling cute, might delete later." A few minutes later, my crush commented, "No need to wait, the delete button is right there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 580

Bad friends

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 00:00 - United Arab Emirates - Abu Dhabi

Today, I've had a crush on my friend for a long time, and everyone around us had convinced me that he had feelings too, so I finally confessed. I got sister/friend-zoned. I'm trying not to cry myself to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 124

I'm a weirdoooooo

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 535

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 02/06/2024 20:00 - United States - Wentzville

Today, I delivered a bottle of alcohol to my crush, since I finished her bottle a few nights ago. Turns out, they'd caught my friend and I talking about giving her backshots on their Ring doorbell footage. She brought it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 770

Love is hell

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, as I recently starting having a huge crush on this one guy, my friend told me she told him about the crush, and that he reacted positively. I made a move, only to find out he has a partner. I've tried distancing myself to get over him but he befriended all my friends and is now in our group chat, and the crush has only intensified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 145

Cool beans

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, my crush has been acting weird around me with his best friend. He's been totally avoiding me. I talked to his best friend and I asked about the vibe change, and if they're mad at me. He acted a little surprised and casually said, "No… I mean I did shit-talk you for like two hours yesterday, but other than that we're chill." FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 125

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 352

You deserved it 1 738

Today, I'm at the unique point in my schooling that I'm either extremely overqualified or extremely underqualified for every job opportunity that appeals to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 796

You deserved it 2 438

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about superheroes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 728

You deserved it 4 145

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 866

You deserved it 12 345

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 93

Today, I've become so accustomed to having flies in my house that I just gave up on getting rid of them. I only kill the ones that repeatedly land on my face or, worst of all, in my ears. Especially when they get stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 779