Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I failed to notice I’ve been on a sex ban as punishment for upsetting her mother 3 weeks ago. Three weeks isn’t even our longest no sex period; we’ve gone months without sex before for no good reason, so is it any wonder I didn’t notice after only 3 weeks? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML
Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML
Today, it's been a week since my girlfriend has been mad at me but still won’t tell me why. Then she came on to me all sexy like, so I thought all was forgiven. Nope, she was just horny. Once she got her orgasm, she left me blue-balled, went right back to being mad at me, and still won’t explain why. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to break a recent dry spell brought on my sickness, stress, and a death in the family. She asked me for sex, but I’m too stressed out even to consider it. Looks like the dry spell is extended indefinitely and it’s all my fault. I’m a shitty boyfriend. FML
Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML
Today, it's been three weeks since my parents went on holiday and not only have they not called me, they don’t answer when I call them… until today, when my mom finally called me, whilst I was having sex. She then sent me a text outlining how rude it was I ignored her call and grounded me. I’m 24 years-old. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
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Top comments
Fugs Smith 3
If she's using sex to control you, her behaviour is only going to get worse, (and it sounds like her mother is also going to be part of the problem.) You need to have a very serious talk, because this is not a good relationship to be in if you already don't care.
QueenSaru 28
Maybe she should grow up and use her words instead, what the heck... That is a bucket of red flags, OP. Sit down, have a mature chat, but I'd probably also start packing and be halfway out the door.
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Comments (14)
kfchicken 31
seems like a little bit of a red flag to me
lev 11
understatement of the month
Fugs Smith 3
If she's using sex to control you, her behaviour is only going to get worse, (and it sounds like her mother is also going to be part of the problem.) You need to have a very serious talk, because this is not a good relationship to be in if you already don't care.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
If OP, in OP's words, "upset" his GF's mother, I don't see why the mother would be a problem. It sounds like OP's upsetting behaviour is the problem. It seems to me that the GF finds such behaviour to be a complete turn-off. Should she have sex with him even if she doesn't feel like it? I don't see that it's "controlling" to say no when you're not in the mood.
Kent Griffin 3
that would be a hell of a red flag to me and the woman would only do that to me one time
OrySoma 11
using sex as a behaverioal control method for your partner is manipulative and wrong if shes turned off by him then she should break up with him not say oh your banned from this because you upset my mom thats stupid and immature and actions like that speak loudly about how she was raised and her mother is probrably another manipulative psycho they tend to anger easily when you don't do something they want and also tend to do shit like this op should run for the hills and you should stop sticking up for manipulative females toxic is toxic op feel free to correct me if im wrong
Bogrbon 27
It's controlling to be mad that he hasn't recognized that it's a deliberate "sex ban" and punishment. It's not that she's just not in the mood. It's that she's deliberately withholding affection as an attempt at punishment and then mad that he's not recognizing it. She's definitely more than a little passive aggressive and toxic. We can't promise that the OP isn't also toxic and at fault, but the girlfriend's behavior is also unreasonable.
RichardPencil 32
You should marry her. That usually fixes everything!
Crowned Sataness 12
yeah a woman that controls you with sex is no good. why the hell are you still there?
Charlie Given 28
Been there done that before it's only gonna get worse
QueenSaru 28
Maybe she should grow up and use her words instead, what the heck... That is a bucket of red flags, OP. Sit down, have a mature chat, but I'd probably also start packing and be halfway out the door.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Maybe those other times were because of your behaviour too, but you never realised.
Bogrbon 27
If that's the case, the girlfriend has the responsibility to address and communicate her feelings and not just shut OP out. As it stands, if this is a regular thing, it's a very toxic pattern to the relationship, on both sides.
Brightside86 31
I dont think your gf is gf material, considering getting out before this becomes the darkest timeline.
treehead42 10
If you go months without sex without talking about it that is an issue. Communication is key. If its because she often withholds sex you even more need to talk about it. If she refuses to change that behavior, then its time to leave sadly :(. It's your choice, but there are many women out there who will show you more affection than you are currently getting.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
I agree that they need to talk this through. But, you think refusing to have sex is bad behaviour? Her feelings don't count? When he's upset her mother? That doesn't count as bad behaviour? Wow. If my partner was rude to my mother, for example, I wouldn't feel hot for him.
Frank Thomas 2
Seems most of the comments are missing the point that she’s upset that he didn’t NOTICE that he’s currently on a ban. Still needs to move on from what is either a toxic situation or, at the very least, a bad match.