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By bieberyoulittleSHIT - 31/08/2012 19:20 - United Kingdom - Goole

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 610

You deserved it 29 620

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 16:14 - Netherlands

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 662

You deserved it 71 711

By #isthisthepoundkey? - 01/11/2013 16:49 - United States - Deltona

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 568

You deserved it 4 332

By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 03:03 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 936

You deserved it 3 587

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 12:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 567

You deserved it 5 439

By Tom_why - 23/05/2009 19:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 342

You deserved it 24 264

By Kaka_Karrot_Kake - 13/09/2013 13:49 - United States - Houston

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 053

You deserved it 8 329

Kaka_Karrot_Kake tells us more.

Kaka_Karrot_Kake 13

Saturday 14 September 2013 3:41

Ok to clear things up, I was walking home and he asked for money. He looked, and even SMELLED like a homeless person. Sure enough, I gave him money and all of a sudden he got up and started walking and I saw him take out an iPhone 5 and call his friend. I heard him say, "Lol dude it worked!" Sorry I wrote so much ._. And no he was NOT really homeless

By jackelking - 25/05/2009 08:33 - United States

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 077

You deserved it 6 944

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 990

You deserved it 9 102

WeeWooWeeWoo

By zerom - 23/07/2011 00:52 - France

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 283

You deserved it 12 271

By kaitlynn - 01/02/2010 20:56 - France

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 896

You deserved it 10 270

By Anonymous - 20/09/2012 12:31 - United States

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 147

You deserved it 4 445

By Anonymous - 19/05/2009 04:08 - Canada

Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 938

You deserved it 53 363

By bananagurl4242 - 16/07/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, my friends told me all five of us should bring sleeping bags on our field trip; I brought mine only to find out they had told me that so they would get the four beds to themselves. They all 'forgot' to bring them and its only fair that I should sleep on the floor. We are here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 190

You deserved it 4 467

By Bratty son - 23/10/2012 04:25 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 401

You deserved it 59 619

Caught

By Boredom - 26/01/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 849

You deserved it 76 283

By bummed and broke - 13/11/2012 18:24 - United States

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 873

You deserved it 35 012

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 18:50 - United States - Bessemer

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 919

You deserved it 58 999

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 6 102

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 09:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 220

You deserved it 4 698

By STOP - 08/05/2014 13:55 - Australia - West Hoxton

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 326

You deserved it 8 879

Little *****

By MLZ - 30/07/2010 20:00 - United States

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 321

You deserved it 3 565

By HeShe - 06/09/2009 17:10 - United States

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 328

You deserved it 3 941

By limping - 24/01/2014 23:10 - Canada

Today, as revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego into my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 710

You deserved it 9 094

By EunJung - 04/11/2011 00:16 - United States

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 795

You deserved it 4 271

Hygiene police

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 878

You deserved it 17 022

By SeeingLlamas - 17/04/2012 09:38 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 136

You deserved it 3 094

By Anon_a_mouse - 30/03/2011 19:59 - Reserved

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 349

You deserved it 3 688

False pretenses

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my friend told me that he was having a Scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special Scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in, everyone was playing beer pong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 483

You deserved it 13 009

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 01:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 330

You deserved it 65 388

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The Top

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 542

You deserved it 2 584

Today, after a long day at work, I grabbed some flowers for my fiancée. As I got to my front door, I heard screaming inside. Thinking there was a burglar, I Immediately ran to where the screams were originating. My bride-to-be was screwing my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 609

You deserved it 217

Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 362

You deserved it 4 487

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 798

You deserved it 3 323

Today, a friend pointed out to me that my girlfriend of five years looks a bit like my mom. She does, and now I can't get it out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 905

You deserved it 1 228

Today, at work, I wanted to scare my best friend, who is also my coworker. Thinking that he was cleaning the women's bathroom, I snuck in and right when I was about to scare him, my store director came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 3 877